Last Day of Summer

Did we just finish the last day of summer? This evening we bought school shoes, ate Taco Bell and went to the park for a walk. After our walk we played on the playground. We could hear and orchestra playing in the pavilion so we walked up to listen after the playground. It was really a neat way to end our summer. But for some reason, it didn't really sink in that this was it. Our last day of summer. Where did it go? It seems like we just celebrated our last day of school with a custard from Silky's.

I really enjoy summers with the kids. Especially now that they're in school. It's time for us to hang out and be lazy. We definitely did that this summer. We swam a lot, camped, watched TV, played computer games, played cards, Caboo, had friends over and redid our landscaping. Overall, I'm satisfied. I had low expectations for the summer because of the two little ones. I thought they would hold us back. They did, but I'm used to it. We worked around their nap times for outings and when we wanted to swim, we waited til Dad got home and swam in the evenings. The older kids helped entertain the younger kids.

I will miss having Sam and Abby around. I can communicate with them. They verbalize their needs and do a lot for themselves. It makes me realize how much changes from the Ben/Mary years to the Sam/Abby years. It's just plain easier. All around. But the younger years are so cute. They are doing so many new things and experiencing many things for the first time. It's a gift to Sam and Abby to watch this and they join in with the cheering, "Mom! Mary just walked a step!" I know it's good for their self esteem to take care of Ben and Mary. Sam is always teaching Ben new words and plays trains with him to cheer him up. Abby likes to hold Mary and talk to her in a sing song voice. They both understand the golden rule of the house: If Ben is happy, don't mess with him. If he's crying, do everything you can to fill whatever need he has. I know I make Ben out to be a monster. But, he can really disturb the peace when he's unhappy. So it's just so rewarding to see Sam and Abby not only put up with Ben's antics, but also take total delight in him too. Brothers and sisters are the best gifts I can give my kids. They outlast any toy in the house. Their relationships will last longer than my life here on earth. And to see everyone interacting together all summer is a true gift. Even if we have to all hear a lot of crying sometimes. I like to think it's making the kids more tolerant.

This is Abby's first year in school all day. She is in First Grade now. I'll miss her, but deep down I know she will be much more stimulated at school and will enjoy seeing her friends again. Often last year she would just come home from school and watch a lot of TV. I didn't like this, but I was so busy with Ben and Mary that I let it go. She's ready for the full day. In fact, she's deeply excited. And so is Sam. He was bouncing off the walls tonight! It's a good thing the kids are ready to go back. I guess I'm ready too. It's not like they're going away to boarding school. They'll have days off, early dismissals, breaks, etc. And summer will be here before I know it. But each summer means they've grown another year. There is no rewinding or pausing like our DVR. However, I do have the ability to be present in the moment and let all of my senses take in as much of it as possible. It's hard sometimes, but I want to always keep trying.

It makes me think of a conversation I had about a year ago with a friend who has 8 kids and was seeing the last one off to school. I asked him how it felt to have them leave the house. He said it felt like it was the right thing for them to do. It seemed like such a simple answer but when you think about it...very true. Do you really want them to stay in kindergarten forever? No. It's right for them to wean off nursing, to eat table foods, to walk on their own, talk, go to school, ride their bike, drive, get a job and move out. Our goal as parents is to see them to independence. It's hard to let go. But it's the right thing to do.