A Mother's Rule Of Life

I got one of my books that I ordered from Amazon.com yesterday! And boy was it greatly timed!! This book is a godsend!

Yesterday, I was excited to surprise Ted for lunch. My sister was off work and volunteered to watch the kids while I took Ted to lunch. I had planned this for a couple of days and wanted to keep it a surprise. I asked Ted about his schedule for the day and felt good that he had time for lunch with me. Then, around 11am, I start calling him. No answer. I call his cell. No answer. What? He should be in a meeting! Maybe someone is in his office (cubicle). I'll just wait for him to call me back. Thirty minutes later...no response. I decide to text him, asking him where he is. Becky is on her way and I can't even get a hold of Ted!

Ted finally calls. He doesn't know why he didn't get my previous calls and says he just got McDonald's with a co-worker. I tell him my plans for lunch and he apologizes, but it just didn't feel enough. I hang up, disappointed. He was bringing the McDonald's back to the office. He hadn't even eaten it yet. Why didn't he trash that $5 of McDonald's and tell me to come on up to meet him? Why was he being so practical instead of recognizing that we NEVER go to lunch together?? This was a rare opportunity. I was all dressed up, with full make up, fluffy hair and my husband got McDonald's.

Becky comes over and I explain the situation to her. I decide to go shopping. And shop I did. Ted calls while I'm at Target. I tell him why I feel hurt. He feels really bad. I can feel that he's just starting to realize how dumb it all was...that he could have chucked the McDonald's. I tell him, he would have SAVED money by going to lunch with me because I shopped at Target and Kohl's and spent more than $5. I wouldn't have shopped if we went to lunch. We shared a laugh on this, but it's interesting how I let this drag me down the rest of the day. I don't understand why, but my energy was zapped. By afternoon I was a walking zombie. I think was tired of carrying the weight of my frustration and disappointment with Ted. And when you're tired all the little things feel too much. Ben and Mary felt too much. I had no desire to clean up the house, make dinner, or do anything else. When Ted came home, he could tell I had nothing left in me. It was no longer about the lunch incident. I was just tired. He brings in the mail which was my new book! He lets me escape to our bedroom.

I was so tired that I just climbed under the covers, fully clothed and just relaxed. Sometimes it feels good to escape like this when the husband comes home. I don't know how single mom's do it!! I had crashed and burned. I think it was a combination of everything. After constant screams from Mary denied me a wink of sleep, I decided to get out my new book, "A Mother's Rule of Life". I was hooked from the first page. I'm already a fifth of the way through the book. It's like she takes the concept of FlyLady and applies it to your whole life...including your prayer time. LOVE IT!! In fact, Flylady writes her own recommendation of the book. At first I thought this book would be all about rigid structure, but just like Flylady, it gives you a plan so you can keep a daily routine so important things aren't forgotten...and they become habit. I need this BECAUSE I'm not a structured person naturally. I NEED more structure. Some days I will walk through with distraction after distraction and nothing completed! I just keep getting the message that this doesn't work for me. Flylady was the first thing to get me back on track and now I have this book by Holly Pierlot to complete the picture for me. It's written for any Christian, but I like the fact that she is Catholic. She incorporates the sacraments and making them a priority, too.

After reading, I walked out of that room with a new purpose. I felt refreshed. I'm sure Ted could tell the difference. Now I have to put my money where my mouth is.

This N That

Sometimes my thoughts are little pieces of information. I offer them to you just the same...in no particular order of importance.

--Books--I just placed an order through Amazon.com for the following books: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, Mother's Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot, Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, and Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld . I love books. I could buy and buy and buy them, but I refrain. I've been guilty of buying on a whim and not reading them all...or all the way through. Most of these I have thought about for longer than a couple of weeks. I have one whim and that is the "Boundaries" one which was recommended by someone who read my blog on my "Just Say NO!!" blog. But you know what? It sounds like something I need. I could tell my sister was a little frustrated that I bought these books before she could get any of them for me for Christmas. I guess I'm not patient enough.

--A Goal to Healthier Eating--I bought a rice cooker/vegetable steamer for $20 and a $20 food chopper so I can do my very own pureeing! OK, I'm might be crazy to think I could actually start pureeing my vegetables and putting them in our meals, not only to give the kids more vegetables, but me and Ted as well! See...I like vegetables, but I don't always take the time to cook them and I especially don't cook the kind that are really good for you: broccoli, spinach, carrots, cauliflower, squash, etc. I tend to throw in red onions, yellow onions, peppers, mushrooms, etc into whatever I make. So I figure a $40 investment in something that could totally tank, is worth it...especially when it comes to our health. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm waiting for the cook book to come in the mail. At the very least, we might be eating more rice!

--Halloween--We have two Halloween functions this week, which means 6 costumes must be completed!! Yikes!! Sam wants to be Anikan Skywalker (he actually wanted to be Darth Maul, but Dad thought that was too evil), Abby is going to be a rock star, Ben will be Spiderman (hand me down...Thank God), Mary is going to be dressed like a princess with a sash saying "Drama Queen" (my sister's BRILLIANT idea!!). Ted and I should be something because we are going to a trivia night where many adults (and kids) will be dressed up. Hmmm...we could follow the Star Wars theme or do something easier. Whatever it is, I need to decide quickly! I'll take pictures and post them.

--Ben and Mary--Ben and Mary are playing so much better together. Less fighting and more together play. Ben is actually playing dolls with her! He's not hooked on the video games as much anymore. I'm SO grateful for that.

--California Wildfires--Watching the California wildfires made me think, if I had an hour's notice to escape my house what would I take? I imagine that all I would be able to take is what can fit into both cars. Ted and I thought about it together and it was a pretty easy decision. This is our list compiled together: The kids, fully dressed in shoes and jackets, laptop, computer downstairs, fire proof safe (contains legal documents, film negatives and CD's of saved digital pictures), purse, wallet, some food, a cooler of drinks and cold food, dual screen portable DVD Player (for a possible long car ride), mine and Ted's memory boxes from storage, camera, video camera, home movies, cell and palm pilot chargers and the kids' memory boxes. If we had any more time and room, I would throw in clothes. I appreciate any article of clothing I can have for the kids. I love hand me downs and having to buy as few clothes as possible. If I had to leave all of our clothes and start all over for six people...UGH. It would be a pain. Starting over would be a pain period...repurchasing sheets, towels, furniture, A HOUSE!...but that's better than losing things that are irreplaceable. I heard about a family that loaded all their prized possessions in the car and after they escaped their home and drove through smoke and fire, they climbed out of their car to give a big hooray...looked back and their car was on fire!! Later on they found out their house was FINE!!!

--TV Shows--I'm not really into any reality shows. They don't feel very real to me. I LOVE shows like Dateline, 48 hours and 60 minutes. I used to watch them as we caught them on TV. It took me a while to realize I could be recording these with our DVR. I've started recording them and I'm having a lot of fun watching them with Ted after the kids go down and during the day while I fold laundry in my bedroom. I love the way they weave a tail of mystery and watching it unfold. All within one hour (or really, less, because I fast forward the commercials)

--Chillier weather--This past weekend we aerated the yard, seeded in problem areas and sealed the driveway. I shouldn't say "we"....Ted did it all. He said it felt really good to accomplish it but missed his chance to relax this weekend.

A week ago we had a fire in the fire pit. It was very relaxing. The neighbors came over and joined us. We've visited their fires before, so it was fun to break out ours.

--Meal Planning--Meal planning has been going great! I'm such an unstructured person in this category, I rarely eat the meal planned for the day. But I feel I have lots of choices...and I switch it around a bit, but the purpose is served. Last night we had homemade pizzas! I used the bread machine for the dough and split it into two pizzas. After rolling out the dough, I rubbed them with olive oil, and sprinkled the unbaked crust with garlic and Parmesan cheese. After cooking the crust, I topped one with "Four Cheese Alfredo Sauce", cooked, cut up chicken, red onions, mushrooms, artichokes, and mozzarella and provolone cheese. It was so good!! The other pizza was for the kids and I just sprinkled cheese over pizza sauce.

Ok...I think you got a snapshot of my mind. I better go be productive.

My Happiest Moments of the Week

Taking the advice of Elizabeth Gilbert from the book Eat, Pray, Love , I have been writing down my happiest moment each day. Here is what I captured last week:
10/8--Columbus Day. Ted played hooky from work and I kept Ben home from preschool. Sam and Abby were already off. My happiest moment this day was sitting outside in lawn chairs with Ted watching 9 kids (including our own) play in the court...riding bikes, skateboarding, riding skooters, etc. We are blessed!
10/9--Daytime-Taking a walk with my mom, Ben and Mary on a path behind her house that leads to a small playground.
Evening--One on one conversations with fellow school moms at McTeacher Night
10/10--Girl's night out at the mall with my mom and sisters! It doesn't get any better than this!
10/11--Eating icecream with Ted after the kids went down for bed.
10/12--Cousin's came over this evening for dinner and visiting. It was relaxing and fun.
10/13--Relaxing with my guests at our bday party for Sam and remembering when it seemed like a lot more work to throw a party.
10/14--All day crop at Archivers!!! I went all by myself and I thoroughly enjoyed it!!

After looking at my week, I think, I had a pretty darn good week! Maybe that's the whole purpose of this exercise!!

Eat, Pray, Love

I just saw an Oprah show that featured the author of the book Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert. Here is an excerpt from Oprah's website:

Thirty-one year old Elizabeth Gilbert had the husband, the career and the
life that so many women envy. But privately, she was falling apart on her
bathroom floor night after night. Liz left her husband, filed for divorce and
took a leap of faith by embarking on a spiritual journey that sent her to Italy,
India and Bali. Her quest to reclaim her life has now been experienced by the
millions who have read her book Eat, Pray, Love.

She explains what got her to this place of despair..."It was about that I had woken up to the fact that my life no longer resembled me. It didn't look like
me."

And more that is straight from Oprah's website:

Even before Liz took her breakthrough journey in Eat, Pray, Love, she says she has always been a traveler. "I've always been somebody who takes journeys," she says. "And I just wanted to get out of there. I felt like if I didn't, I would die. I felt like a squirrel in a box…sort of clawing at the walls of my life."

I know I can feel that way sometimes. It's when I'm home and swallowed up with needs from the kids that only I can fulfill. I could understand the "squirrel in the box" analogy. Although, I don't feel a need to go to Italy to find some peace, I appreciate that everyone has some thing they do to feel instant relief. For me, it's indulging in a pleasure for myself. Whether it be reading, watching a favorite show, cleaning up the house, cropping, eating, spending time with a friend in person or over the phone, eating out with my husband, etc.

Liz first went to Italy to find pleasure again. She ate, drank and felt no guilt. She gained a much needed 24 pounds onto her skinny frame. She was there for four months before heading to India where she found inner peace. She says you can't find yourself or your faith without some silence in your life. She believes it's the only way to hear your inner voice and God's voice. It was there that she had a life changing spiritual experience where she felt she was in the palm of God's hand. She spent 4 months as an ashram before heading to Bali where she searched for a balance of the freedom of pleasure and the discipline of daily prayer and meditation. It was there that she found love.

Even Liz says you don't have to go to foreign countries to find what she found. She says that you can follow your own journey right where you are. First, I want to get this book. But then, I also want to follow her steps:

1) Every day right down: What do you really, really, really want? Now, this is a broad question and people often don't like those. But if you answer it truthfully, you'll see the variety in your answers. I am going to do this for a month and see what transpires.

2) What was the happiest moment of your day? Sometimes this could be something simple like watching the view from your window, to taking a vacation. I could see the variety here also. I will record these answers for a month, too.

3)Change your mantra. Liz says we all have one. It's not always good, but we do. What do you tell yourself? What do you live by? Are you always saying "I wish, I wish, I wish"? If it's not working...change it.

I'm ready for this journey of discovering myself and what makes me happy. I think I've been discovering it and getting closer to getting my basic needs met...but it's always fun to find out more! Read her site to find out more about the book! I can't wait to read it myself!

This N That

They say if you start typing, you'll think of what you want to say. So I'll just keep these keys moving until something smart or witty comes out. Sometimes I think that's why I do "This n That" blogs. I really don't have one full thought, but a bunch of little unimportant ones. Here are the thoughts in my head lately:
--I can't wait until Ted gets his "make up" commission check from work. (They made things changes at work which made it harder for Ted to sign deals and have promised a check to make up for his lost commissions). I'm making a list of things I want to buy. It's not exciting, but here it is: Fall church clothes for the kids, fall wreaths for the front door, waterproof mattress pads for all the kids beds or at least on the new mattresses (Sam and Abby), plant two trees in the yard (after taking out two dead ones), and carpeting in the family room. Yes, you heard me...carpeting to replace the filthy, germinated, stained beyond belief carpeting in the family room. I found and blog that announced we would wait until Mary turned four to replace the said carpeting. I have found all kinds of reasons to wait but have ignored my true hearts desire. Wait until they are all potty trained (by that time she will be). Wait until you can enforce no eating in the family room (ain't gonna happen), wait until they are out of drippy sippy cups (what..then have them bring full drinks in there? Nuh uh. I think we'll be in sippy cups until they go to Kindergarten!) Wait until...wait until...wait until. I'm feeling the shackles break off of me as I speak. I am free! I can buy soon! I don't have to wait!

--It's time for Mary's big girls bed and I have waited for this moment for so long! When she was a baby I bought Abby's quilt and vowed to find the match with constant searches at TJ Maxx. It never happened. I ended up buying it on eBay and spending too much...but they had to match!! When I bought Abby's bed skirt two years ago, I bought one for Mary. People laughed at me, "She's in a baby bed! It'll be a while!" I didn't care. I had a vision of my girls' shared room and I was planning ahead. What if Target discontinued their Shabby Chic line of bedskirts and Mary had to have a non-matching one?? (They didn't, I just saw it there last week). I even arranged the room so that all we had to do was swap out the bed and put in the new one. I bought a mattress and box spring at an Estate Sale this past summer for $25 (actually a wood bed came with it too!!). Now I am ready. She's not fully potty trained, but the real goal was to have it done for her third birthday, just like I did with Ben. Then, at her party, everyone can come up and see the "big girl's" bed. I can't wait. And she is thrilled, too!

--I love mowing the lawn. I'm not sure why. I think it's being outdoors and having time to think. I think it's also the transformation from tall and shaggy, to trimmed and plush.

--House guests are coming and I'm in a good place. It doesn't have to be perfect and yet, I feel good about how everything is. As I get older, these things get easier...Thank God.

--I did my meal planning for another month. I have new meals I'm trying. If I like them, I'll pass on the recipes. I'm looking for family friendly meals. I'm so anal, I have plotted my whole list by isle location and put it in an Excel Spreadsheet. Yup. That's me. You want a copy? It's of Schnuck's. You may not have one in your area.

--I made new Children's Liturgy CD's for the different seasons of the church. I'm so thrilled to complete this. Abby recorded the final songs with me last night. She is such a trooper.

--My principal asked me to be on a "marketing team" for the school. I agreed because I have not learned to press my tongue to the roof of my mouth for the "Nnnnoooo" word. And actually, I happen to enjoy challenges. We are trying to increase our enrollment and tenure. Sounds like my HR job!! This requires four all day workshops to be trained. I laugh at the hoops I had to jump through: Have Ben skip preschool on those days...check, find a babysitter for the kids...check, return favor of babysitting by painting my mom's two extra bedrooms...check, ask carpool if we can afternoon drive with the morning drive...check! Whoo. It's not easy replacing a mom of four for four whole days!

--We're getting an Arby's near us. Fast food is always big news around here.

--My sister was off today and it was sheer bliss talking on the phone with her. She is a gift from God to me.

--I want to call my friend, Theresa in Australia...which requires planning with the time change. I'll write it on my to-do list and then it will really happen!

--Ben peed in his bed last night. He's potty trained, but accidents still happen. It's a lllooonnng process.

--I gotta end this blog and pick up Sam and Abby from their friend's house. They are swimming!