4 days until retreat time. I haven't been getting very good sleep lately. I go from one project to obsess over to another. I can't seem to still my mind lately when my head hits the pillow. I'm typically a pretty good sleeper. Usually, I'm so tired by the end of the day, I just fall straight to sleep. However, I do have a history of not being able to sleep when I am processing new thoughts. My thoughts lately have been on the Children's Liturgy program at our church.
I'll back up a little. About a month ago, they started requesting volunteers for the Children's Liturgy. They took a break over the summer and it was time to start it up again. As a "Liturgist", I would lead the children (K-3) to classroom down the hall from the church right before the readings. Once in the room, I would read the readings, Gospel and give a short reflection on the Gospel. I thought this sounded like fun. The responsibility would require my help 5 times a year. This seemed like it would be a good fit to me. I even thought I could help lead music with my guitar. I told them I was interested. Ted was a little wary of me overcommitting myself. I told him that I'm going to mass anyway, why not help out once every other month? His pessimism frustrated me.
Anyway, we convened for a meeting with all the Liturgists, the program leaders and the DRE (Director of Religious Education). They proceeded to tell us that the leaders had to leave the parish and we were on our own. I suspect they knew this before we signed up. Anyway, there were many returning Liturgists that had a look of panic on their faces. Should I be worried? Yes, one of the leaders led the singing, the other kept an ear out for the mass...but can't we do this?? Yes, this couple had it all down to a science and attended two masses a week to be there for the liturgist and we would not have that help any more. But I think we can manage it....I just wish there was some overlap. I feel a little abandoned. Me, the new girl, has not done this before! We did get some information as a parting gift...but I like more information than the typical person. I'm the type of person who loves a manual. I wrote a whole manual on my job before I left on maternity leave with my first child. I felt more secure leaving, knowing that I empowered them with all the information on how to do my job. I don't mind deviating from the manual, but I like to know what structure I'm working from.
So last night, Ben woke up because he "saw monsters" and after I dealt with him I couldn't go back to sleep! I started thinking about my first scheduled Liturgist time and it just wouldn't leave my brain! I've learned you have to deal with whatever is on your mind or it won't go away. So I got up, looked up the readings for the mass (which isn't until the 22nd!!) and started writing my reflection. I finished it and then wrote down the whole flow of the session. It made me feel good to have it all done. Then I snuggled back into bed hoping that would konk me out...but no. I started thinking about an analogy. Some kind of visual analogy for the kids. Arrgghhhh! This kept me awake even longer. Then I realized from all the wake time...that I was hungry! I can't sleep when I'm hungry! I got up, ate some cereal, and then struggled with sleeping for another half hour. I was up from 1:30 am until 4:30 am.
I guess my mind is already moving on to the next thing. I'm finished worrying about CRHP. Everything is done and so I'm thinking about my next responsibility. The good thing is, I'm not worried about Children's Liturgy. I am actually looking forward to it. I love teaching, I love music, and I really get a kick out of kids. I think it's a perfect fit. We'll see.
I'm tired. *YAWN*
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