Humility Brings Me Gratitude

This morning in Children's Liturgy was quite a hoot. The night before I set up the room (after the 5pm mass). Room set up involves, putting a cover over our "altar" which is a cabinet. They go with the liturgical seasons, so I had white on today. Candles are set on the altar, along with a cross, the holder for the children's lectionary, the cards the prompt the kids responses (Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ, etc). I bring in my guitar, put the big sheets lyrics on the wall and set up my music stand. So I felt good that that was all done. This morning I come in to lead it and the first thing I do is sing the wrong song. I know two "This is the Day" songs. I started singing one from my youth instead of the one from THEIR youth. Half way, I realized I didn't have the correct music for the song I was singing AND my guitar was miserably out of tune (oops...forget that one important detail). For the life of me I couldn't recall THEIR This is the Day and asked the kids if they could help me. My outgoing boy, Richard, happily chimed in and started to sing the song for me. I tried to play it but my guitar sounded so bad and I wasn't playing it right because I had lowered the key and couldn't make sense of all my cross outs...so I just stopped playing and sang acapella the rest of the song.

Somehow when I set my guitar down, it fell more out of tune. I must have bumped it or something. It sounded horrible on the next song! I just smiled and kept playing because the kids didn't seem to notice.

There are quite a few things that I'm grateful for after this humbling moment
A) These are KIDS! They don't care!! (Although there was an adult in the room)
B) The kids were singing so loud, they couldn't really hear my guitar anyway.
C) I gave a lesson in humility by setting an example. I was able to laugh it off and thank them for the help. I told them I was a little rusty after the break.
D) Wasn't Jesus humbled to be baptized by someone much lower than Him when He didn't even need it?
E) My homily was better than normal
F) We got a new Time Keeper trained
G) The adult at the back of the room often comes, but never smiles at me and doesn't really acknowledge me in the parking lot of school. I was blessing each child with holy water as they were dismissing and made a comment to the other lady about how I was trying to squeeze this in and SHE SPOKE! She said that their were more kids than normal this time and smiled at me. I think in my stumbling, humbling moment she was able to relate to me more. This is a great thing.

The other day, Ted reminded me that I've been very distracted lately with all of my activities and that he misses me! I know what he's talking about. I may be "present", but not really present. He saw it starting with the holidays and all the craziness that brings and then it just continued into January. I told him when this PTO thing is done, I'll be able to relax and enjoy my home time more. I don't know if I was very convincing, because what he sees looks quite different.
--He sees me being pulled to help the nursing home communion services
--He sees me saying "yes" to helping with Vacation Bible School this summer
--He remembers that I offered to help the Volunteer Coordinator for the Swim Team this summer
--He knows that I agreed to be on this marketing team for our school to learn how to attract more families
--He sees his time with me shrinking as I get enveloped in all these activities.

As we discussed this, I admitted that I love all of these things, but sometimes they require more planning than I thought, because I like to do my best. Sometimes, even though I don't believe they are taking away from our evening family time, I'm secretly running to the computer to send out an e-mail about the 80's Dance, or researching chords for a nursing home song, or writing my homily for Children's Liturgy. He pointed out that I work from home, so my work never leaves. I don't have a specific start and stop time. He doesn't want me to stop doing what I'm doing...it's part of what he loves about me. He just wants me to practice balance, and set aside times as more sacred, and be present to the family, and be present to him.

I'm humbled again. I'm not doing a good job at home. Which is my MOST important job!! But I'm grateful for his honesty and I'm grateful for the stability he brings me. Me, the roller coaster girl who flits from one thing to another and tries to get it all done, while he....he is constant, solid, responsible, measured, consistent and loyal. I'm trying to be loyal to everyone. He wants to be loyal to me. I like his priorities. I like the balance he is to me.

So again, humility brings me gratitude.