This 'n That

Jason Bourne Movies--Can I just say how much the I love the Jason Bourne movies??? I LOVE them. I know you can't believe I'm talking about something other than poop...but I'll get to that later. :-) I think it was last weekend that Ted and I went to see Bourne Ultimatum and I LOVED it!! We've seen all three and I don't see a movie unless I think it's going to be really good! Date nights are valuable time and are not to be wasted. The Bourne movies are never a waste of time. Because I analyze everything, I had to ask myself...what is it that attracts me to these movies? I found my answer. I love it when people use their wits to get them out of a situation. It is more interesting to watch someone outsmart people than to just blow them up. And to do it under the pressure of time is even more fascinating. I know if someone rushed me to come up with a creative solution...I would totally fail. I'm a horrible on the spot thinker. I blank out when I have to give introductions...I would suck on game shows like Jeopardy. So I think that's why I admire quick and creative thinkers. I hope they come out with more Bourne movies, because three is not enough for me!! I think he's way better than James Bond!!

Catching Up With My House--If there is anything that gives me great satisfaction, it is purging! Yesterday I cleaned and organized and purged...and it felt SO good. I think my distraction with the PTO has made me neglect so many things. I need to catch up. I'm hosting my CRHP group tonight so I knew I needed to get going, but I wanted to do more than straighten. I went through all of our Little People toys, Lincoln Log train track, James and Thomas Duplo Train set, etc. The back of my Suburban is FULL of toys!! I hate thinking of the money that was spent and how quickly they are outgrown. I'm trying to give them away to friends, but I might donate them to a children's home.

Poop--You knew it had to happen sooner or later. It's a big topic right now. Thank you, Theresa, for counting how many times I said it in my last blog. 70? Whew! Anyway, Ben is officially trained!! He is now pooping in the potty every time!! He is getting more comfortable each time and he is SO proud!! I can't believe the time has finally come. He's not so worried about the size of it now and just seems more relaxed about it. I intend to give my pediatrician a thank you note. He saved me from poop! Now we got to get him to wipe his own butt. Don't worry, I won't write chronicles about it.

Healthy Eating--We're making a renewed push to eat healthy. You know I struggle with getting all my fruits and vegetables every day, well my husband does too. He got a wake up call when a friend of his had a mild heart attack! He's young like Ted and it reminded Ted that the bad heart stuff runs in his family and he needs to do something about it now!

That's the main stuff right now. I'm going to walk over to my neighbor and see if she wants some of these toys for her grandson!!

The Poop Chronicles, Continued

Tomorrow it'll be a week since we got our "prescription" from the pediatrician. I would have to say it's some of the best "medicine" I've ever received. A real kick in the pants. I complained like a big baby when I realized what I would have to do, but I would have to say, it has been SO worth it!!! We achieved another successful poop in the potty chair! Last night, we were talking about how Ben was due for a poop since it had been a couple of days since his last one and he started complaining...like he knew what he needed to do, but didn't want to. Ted took over this time, because I think I was on the phone. The size of the poop is a real issue. He wants us to confirm that the poop will be small. We do this to reassure him, and then he pushes it out! I KNOW he's not letting it all out, but I'm all about practicing and having some positive baby steps. The more he realizes how easy it is, the less pain we will go through each time...because he still very scared. But he knows if holds it in, the poop will "collect" (which freaked him out when I first told him...and actually, that fear produced our very first poop on the potty chair) . Since the first poop, (Sunday 8/19) he had an accident at my sister's (Monday 8/20...which I blame on the fact that he did not have his potty chair and was scared to poop in the big toilet), which was followed by a successful poop on Tuesday 8/21 and another poop on Thursday 8/23. I feel we are well on our way to fully training him...FINALLY!!! One full year after potty training him, he is finally almost poop trained. I feel like posting a sign, "Our facility has been accident free for four days!!" I owe it all to my pediatrician and plan on writing him a full note so he can keep recommending to his patients to make the child face their fears, instead of enabling them to continue their bad habits. I'm sure his approach may not work for everyone, but it worked for me! In case you haven't noticed...I really bad at paragraph breaks because I don't know where to put them! It all belongs together to me!! Most of the time I will go back and force myself to make paragraph breaks, but this time I will keep it as-is.

Tomorrow, we plan on celebrating one week of poop training with a family trip to Chuck E Cheese's. Woo Hoo!!

Days 3 and 4 of the Poop Chronicles

Yesterday, I took the kids to my sisters after our first day of school (a half day). He had to go poop and he didn't want to do it in the toilet and so he pooped in his pants. I was crushed. But I thought...baby steps. This thing terrifies him! Why expect him to make the jump to the toilet while he's only had one demon expelling experience on the potty chair?? Next time I'll take the potty with us. Especially in these learning stages.

So Day 4, right in the middle of dinner he starts complaining and grabbing his stomach. I immediately react and ask him if he needs to go poop. He at first resists, but I am persistent. We go into the bathroom and this is the scene...audibly. And this is our conversation about it afterwards. I'll let you listen to see what happens. The first one is 3 minutes...it could be slow to download...I'm not sure. And did you hear him obsess about the size of the poop and whether it is "collecting" and if he is empty? Gosh!! We're going to have a rough time in life with his anxiety!!

The Poop Chronicles

To keep you straight on this timeline, it was Saturday morning that turned Ben's world upside down with a verdict from the doctor to not allow pooping in the pull-up. As I said before, everything I had heard before was the opposite of what this doctor was telling me. The difference is that most of the literature out there is about 2 year olds, not four year olds. "They'll do it when they are ready"..."Don't force it"...I think I was taught to go with the flow with potty training. "Wait until you see signs or initiative", they said. Nope. No signs. No initiative. Just me changing poopy pull up after poopy pull up.

Let me summarize his training. I usually start training at 3 years old. Potty training went without a hitch. He learned to pee in the potty chair in a reasonable time, but still pooped in his pants. When I potty train, I go straight to underpants. I believe pull-ups are enablers. What I quickly realized was that he would just poop in the underpants. He didn't seem to care. Daily, he would come to me from downstairs (his favorite pooping spot) with wet pants and poop bulging behind him. He'd walk like a stiff cowboy and ask me to change him. I would try to do respond like they told me...calm, and matter of fact, as I told him he needs to learn how to poop in the potty chair. Poopy underpants are NOT fun to clean, but I thought if I put him in pull-ups, we'd regress on the peeing part. Anyway, I finally gave in and put him in pull ups which made my life easier! No more pee on the carpets!! (The pee would come out when he pooped). I read up on the internet and learned to not make an issue of it. He will do it when he's ready, they said. Little did I know, one whole year later, he would STILL not be ready. I think I just gave up. My busy life surrounded me and I let go of my disappointing desires.

About two weeks ago, we changed to underpants full time. He was starting to get lazy and pee in his pull-ups. I put an immediate stop to that! I couldn't believe his laziness! Once we got into underpants, he started complaining when he had to poop, and would ask for pull-up. "Anything to avoid constipation!", I thought. So I would change him into his pull up. My neighbor thought this was progress, his desire to not poop in his underpants. I saw nothing as progress. I felt like I was stuck in this place forever and I could not even imagine an end to it. But I didn't mind him pooping in his pull up because I was still waiting for him to make the decision that HE was ready! When I took him to his doctors appointment I realized he is as ready as he'll ever be.

So lets get to Saturday, our first day with no pull ups and no excuses. I have decided it's time...I'm armed and ready. I'm not backing down. The first time he asked me to play Toontown, I reminded him what he had to do before playing. I talked it through a million times that day and he still ended up asking for a pull up. I reiterated that we weren't using pull-ups to poop anymore. I told him that he's older now and the doctor said he's ready (it seems to carry so much authority to say "the doctor said..."). He said he didn't want to go on the potty chair, so I picked him up and started carrying him there. He fought me all the way to the bathroom and his legs stuck on the door frame to keep me from bringing him inside. All the while, the thoughts are going through my head "Don't create battle"--failed... "Don't force it"--failed..."Don't carry him to the bathroom kicking and screaming"--failed. But I got him to sit on the toilet and settle down. But no poop came out.

The second and third time he asked me for a pull up, we went to the bathroom. Each time without a fight. He was starting to get that he needed to do this and he didn't have a choice. He would strain and grimace to push that poop out. Gas came, but nothing else. At least I felt like he was on my team this time.

Today we started it all over again. He asked to play Toontown. I reminded him of what he needed to do. When he asked for a pull-up (stubborn kid), we again went to the bathroom. Nothing. Later on this afternoon Sam said that Ben smelled like he pooped in his pants. I cringed. I checked his pants. No poop. However, I did see poop marks, which meant the poop tried to come out and he pushed it back in!!! Oh the frustration!!! After all of our conversations!!! I realized I need to tell Ben more about constipation. I sat him on my lap and explained that if he didn't poop, it would collect inside him and it would become bigger. Before I know it, he was FREAKING OUT! He started crying and became really anxious. He jumped off the couch in FEAR! Ted and I looked at each other in shock. I tried to calm him down and he wouldn't even let me hold him. I asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty chair and he said Yes.

We sat on the potty chair and he started asking me all kinds of questions about the poop and how much would collect and how big it would get. I KID YOU NOT. I'm explaining as much as I can that he doesn't have to worry if he lets the poop out and doesn't hold it in. Finally, Sam pops in and says to Ben, "The poop is small now, Ben". I swear they speak the same language. Ben started to calm down and focused on pushing that poop out like it was the very Devil himself. I pushed and pushed and out came a little poop. I couldn't believe my eyes!!! No way did fear just push poop out of my son!!! He was so anxious about the whole thing, there was no satisfaction, he just wanted to pull up his pants and get the hell out of there. I slowed him down and told him to sit back down that there was probably more. So he sat down and pushed more of the Devil out and what do you know, he produced about 4x the load of the first poop!!! I gave him the biggest hug ever. I was so happy. All the time afterwards he kept asking more about what happens if the poop collects and whether he was "empty" or not. I told him he was probably empty for now, but that he should never keep the poop from coming out.

The evening settled him down a bit and he actually became proud of himself. I'm hoping that something sticks from today and tomorrow will be easier. I don't know if he can handle that much trauma every time he poops. I asked him if he was scared and he said Yes. I asked him if he was still scared, and he said No.

Was it fear or behavior modification techniques that got Ben to finally poop? I think it was a little bit of both. I had to get HIM to want to poop. And this is the first time I have seen ANY desire to poop in the potty chair from HIM. All thanks to my pediatrician. I'm hoping tomorrow is not so emotional. I knew it would be hard. Maybe I'll pray over him next time, to take some of that fear away.

Poop or Get Off the Pot

Poop, Poop, Poop. When can I stop talking about poop? When will it all be over with? I wonder if you do a poop search on the internet, would my blog come up first?? Sam and Abby said that "poop" beats "pee" in some of kind of search word battle. I don't doubt it. Many of us moms are going through this. Which would explain my pediatricians stern voice when he talked to me. At first I wasn't going to bring it up. He probably assumed Ben was poop trained when he saw his underpants on. We were almost finished with the the exam when I said, "We have one problem..."and I went on to tell him what I was dreading to say...that Ben, at four years old, refuses to poop in the potty. I knew where he stood because I heard it at the three year appointment, but I wanted to find out more about his stance on the subject. I challenged, I questioned, I offered what the "field" says about the subject and he stood his ground. This is what the main points were and he was beginning to convince me on what I needed to do:
--This is a BEHAVIOR
--He is being allowed to exhibit this unacceptable behavior
--He is four and can reason....this is a choice
--He needs to be told he doesn't have a choice but to poop in the potty
--He can be rewarded whenever he does
--If rewards don't work, privileges must be taken away (OUCH!)
--Isn't this a punishment? DR--It's not a punishment...it's a consequence....it's his choice. You are very matter of fact about it...not emotional.
--I'm letting him be in charge by letting him doing something I don't find acceptable
--What if he's afraid? DR--that gives him an excuse...You don't need to give him an excuse
--What if he stops pooping and becomes constipated because he refuses to poop in the potty? DR--That is his own choice and he will suffer the consequences of that
--I thought everyone said not to make an issue of it...it will happen when he's ready...DR--*eyeroll* I don't buy into that. This is behavior modification. It should be used on potty training just like it is used on any other behavior you don't approve of.

I learned all that behavior modification stuff. You reward good behavior when it happens and take away the reward when it doesn't. It's simple to follow and pretty direct. I've avoided it because I thought they said to not make it a battle ground and this will quickly become one. I mentioned that to the DR and he said, "No...You are very matter of fact about it. He has control of whether he gets the reward or not." As he spoke, I knew this was a pivotal moment for us. I knew that I was about to jump into the battle field and stand up for my desire to get him fully trained. My pediatrician was arming me with the back up I needed to defend what I want. I just needed the pep talk. I don't go into anything without being fully committed, which is what makes me put off commitment to begin with. When I jump in, it will be ALL THE WAY. I'm using the DR visit as my diving board and Ben is sensing that something is going on around him.

I tell his DR about his favorite computer game, Toontown. The DR says to Ben, "In order to play Toontown, you need to poop in the potty." Ben says, "I can't!". And the DR says, "Yes, you can. You are big boy now...you can poop in the potty."

I looked at my poor four year old, sitting in his underpants on the examining bed. His world is about to get turned upside down. On the way home, we discussed what was going to happen and I don't know that it will quite sink in until we get into it. As soon as he comes home he wants to play Toontown. I tell him he can't play until he poops in the potty chair. "Can I play Nick JR .com? (Here we go). On the spot, I decided I'll have to take away the computer all together. I think the person who will suffer most during all of this will be me! Guess what he is doing right now? He's playing Playstation!! I'll give him a week without the computer. If that doesn't work, I'll have to take away Playstation too. You know how else I'll suffer? What happens when he asks me to change into a pull up? I'm supposed to say NO. Where will the poop go? IN HIS PANTS. Who will clean it up? ME!

When I look at it all. I think in the long run, I'm being trained. I'm being forced to do something I don't want to do, for the reward of the end result. I would say that is behavior modification. I have to change first, before HE can change. This will be hard for me. It will be hard for Ben too. It's like that guy that shows owners how to get rid of the behavior problems with their dogs. He did Oprah and the whole time I'm thinking...he's not here to train the dog! He's here to train the owner!

So here I am...the mom who is not going to let her son be in charge. I can't let him see my weakness, so he will get nothing but firmness from me...because I know better. I've been pushed many times. Often I will allow some pushing, because some things aren't worth the battle to me. But this is a time where I need to stand firm and show him I mean it, or it won't work. I will chronicle the journey. You'll see whether it works or not. My mother-in-law said I have to go in with the attitude that it WILL work and believe it. *Sigh* I'm tired already. And then I'll have to deal with Mary. One at a time.

It Was a Success!!

The Packet Pick-Up night just went great! Our Principal loved the slide show and said she wanted it at Festival of Ministries. That's where all the ministries of the church set up a table and show the parish what they do. We'd be representing the school. It was so rewarding to see it all come to fruition. As each thing goes well, I gain more and more confidence in this position. We got lots of volunteers, even for our new fundraiser the Father/Daughter Dance. It's wild to watch something start as an idea in a meeting and then you see people sign up for your idea that you have no idea what the full plan is...but you smile and talk about how great it will be. Actually, the Father/Daughter dance HAS to be a success. I saw the excitement of people when they realized we were having one.

This position on the PTO started in May, so really, I've been doing this planning for the year for almost 4 months! So when I think about it, I only have 8 more months to go! OK, that still sounds like a lot. But I feel the groundwork has been laid and now it's time to get on the boat...or it could be a roller coaster, we'll see. Just so you have a snapshot of this craziness...let me show you:

PTO Calendar of Events 2007-2008

September
5—Room Parent Meeting
13—Grand Person’s Day—Chair
25—Taste of J&A—Co-Chairs

October
1—J&A Night at Chuck E Cheese’s
9—McTeacher Night at McDonald’s
14—Festival of Ministries? Take turns after masses
27—Halloween Family Trivia Night—Co-Chairs
November
29-12/6—Book Fair—Chair
December
1—Breakfast with Santa—Chair
14-15—Eighth Grade Play—Cinderella—Committee
Classy Baskets at Play and Breakfast—Chair
Week of 17th...Staff Christmas Gifts –7am prayer
`
January
19—80’s Dance in Cafeteria--Committee
22—J&A Night at Chuck E Cheese’s
27-2/2—Catholic Schools Week
Teacher Appreciation Luncheon sometime this week

February
2—Winter Carnival—Chair
April
7—Send out PTO Scholarship form for 8th Grader
8—McTeacher Night at McDonald’s
17—PTO Meeting—Elect New VP and Treasurer
“Art Expo” sometime this month—Chair
26—Father/Daughter Dance in Cafeteria--Committee

All the places I say "Chair", it's run by a Chair...and everywhere I say "Committee", it's run by committee. And all the chairs are all now in place so that is a huge relief following the first feeling of panic when you get in the job. I don't know if you can tell, but I love two major parts of this job: administrative part and working with all of these AWESOME people!! Volunteers are the cream of the crop!

OK, I gotta go. Ben has a physical this morning and I have to get us both washed up! More later.

A Snapshot

I feel like it's been a while since I blogged so I should write a snapshot:

What's at the top of my to-do list?
--Tonight is our Packet Pick Up Night where the kids meet their teacher and get their "Back to School" paperwork. I'll be at the PTO table the whole time showing my SLIDE SHOW!!! I'm so excited. I finished it Monday. I am so happy with it. Basically, I have pictures from all the events we did last year and set it to "Your Grace is Enough" (Matt Maher), "Happy Together" (Turtles), "Kind and Generous" (Natalie Merchant), "Time of Your Life" (Green Day) and ending with the end of "Your Grace is Enough". It's sad because I recorded the kids singing and the some mass songs and they just didn't work on the slide show. I think the songs I picked are better. Parents will be in a long line getting ready to pay some fees they are probably not too happy about...and a slide show will be going on the whole time, reminding them WHY they are here! I'm really excited about it and can't wait to see the response. I put many hours into that slide show. No one will have a clue how much work it took.
--The kids go back to school Monday! :-(. It's really been a great summer. It's the first summer they really all played together. I will miss them.
--Ben goes to Preschool for the first time. He seems to actually be looking forward to it. I hope the three days doesn't itimidate him. At least they will be shorter. He can count to 100 now and really wants to learn how to read. I think this is what is motivating him to go to preschool. No Mom's Day Out for Mary this year. She'll be home. But we'll be ready for two days of MDO next year.
--Once Packet Pick Up Night is over, I'll need to focus on my house! It is straightened but NOT clean. Those poor toilets. I'm banking on the fact that Oprah says our toilets are cleaner than our kitchens! But I think I've taken that too far and need to clean them!
--Our first PTO meeting is the "Taste of J&A". We'll have food samples from our Shop For Our School vendors. I think we'll be introducing a new Incentive Program for the kids at this meeting called "Keys to Success". I need to plan this meeting.
--I need to get a Book Fair Chair. Hopefully tonight!!
--I need to compose guidelines for our Chairs to follow this year on spending, promotion, etc.
--I need to pick up the liturgy packets from the rectory, make a schedule for the liturgists and organize and distribute their packets.
--I need to plan a crop day. I'm way behind after all those summer pictures!
--Date Night Saturday night...get sitter. I want to see the new Bourne movie. I love those!!

What have I accomplished?
--First ever PTO Slide show!
--A lot of PTO stuff...getting ready for the school year and Packet Pick Up night
--Started an e-manual for the PTO. It will list responsibilities for each job and details on every event we hold, as well as a timeline of duties for each year.
--Got supplies for the Children's Liturgy cabinet
--School supplies are all purchased and ready to be brought to school tonight

What's bugging me?
--Failed potty training. No one is motivated but me. I've tried gold stars, sitting on the potty time, Dora underwear. Nope. Not ready. She's peeing everywhere. He still DOES NOT want to poop on the potty, but we are in underpants full time now and he asks for a pull up when he wants to poop. My neighbor thinks that's progress. Who knows. I'll wait until they are more ready. It'll be a magical day when Ben starts pooping on the potty. We're gonna have a big party.

What's my latest obsession?
--Well it's hard to say. I JUST finished with that slide show and that was definitely my obsession for a while. We'll see what fills in the gaps. I guess I would say it is making a PTO e-manual.

What's been making me happy?
--Accomplishing so much with the PTO and Children's Liturgy
--Having a good summer
--Using my Mom's Days Out this summer to spend time with Sam and Abby. We had our last one yesterday. We would go swimming with the cousins or go to the movies. I have two more after they go back to school that will be totally mine. Well kinda. I will clean out the PTO cabinet during one of them.

Mary and the Mini-Disc

Mary was going on one of her rants this evening and it was right during our dinner. Basically, a rant (for us anyway), is an endless screaming of demands. We gave her many chances to stop and when she didn't, Ted put her up in her bed. I know they say not to use the bed as a time out, but I like to think of it more as a place to unwind. It just works for us. So anyway, since I just got my mini-disc recorder....(YES you heard me right!), I decided to record Mary. I missed the rant, but I recorded her crying in bed and then our resolution afterwards.



Mary crying in time out (through the monitor)


Me working it out with Mary

Let me know if you have trouble listening to these wav files. You should be able to click on them and listen to them through Quicktime Player.

I'm Back!

We just got back Saturday from our week long trip to Door County. We really had a nice vacation with my parents, Lisa and her four kids, Becky and her baby and for a shorter time, Ted's parents. We spent the week swimming at Clark Lake, Nicolet Bay, Whitefish Dunes, and a couple of smaller beaches...Otumba and Sunrise Beach. We also shopped, tried a Fish Boil, and checked out some lighthouses: Eagle Bluff (at Peninsula State Park), Sherwood Point and Cana Island. I have a small lighthouse collection and added to my resin statues on this trip. We also took the older kids on a short, scenic plane trip over Sturgeon Bay.

Overall, I noticed how well the little ones adapted and easily went off with the older kids to the playground and the store. I felt like I had more physical freedom from the little ones on this trip. I don't feel like they clung to me as much as they did last year camping. They were able to entertain themselves much better. Bed time was not as difficult this year. I remember last year it could take an hour and a half to get them to settle down and go to sleep. And they were more fearful of the trailer. This year, they seemed more comfortable in their beds and more ready to sleep. However, we did have some major hiccups. Mary is going through a stage where she can be the demon child. Luckily, they were just moments...but very trying and required tons of patience. We've this coming on gradually and I think the trip brought it to a head. Sometimes I have to answer a question from her FOUR TIMES, before she stops asking it. And I've already talked about how she sometimes won't settle until we answer it the "right way". But then, she had that balanced with great times on the beach where she happily played for hours. I can't complain. Ben was pretty good...once he finished detox of his favorite computer game, "Toontown".

I'm ready to close up the camper for the year. We camped three times and that was enough this year. With school starting in TWO WEEKS (yikes!) and my crazy time with the PTO and Children's Liturgy...I have too much on my mind and I will be hitting the ground running. I was able to push everything aside for vacation and not think about it much, but on the ride home all these thoughts of things I needed to do came rushing into my head. After Ted's encouragement, I made a list. Lists always make me feel better.

I'm already dreaming how next year will be so different...no diapers. I can't believe that this time next year I'll be preparing Ben for Kindergarten. It makes me want to cry! He can't possibly be ready for full time school! He barely tolerates Mom's Day Out!! It always seemed so far away...and now it's just a year. Every year at this time, my sister, Lisa, cries about the passing of time. It's like she bookmarks each year with her tears and then moves into the business of the year. It's her way of pondering her kids ages with the realization of what will be lost as each year ends. She is always thinking about what is gained...but once a year she mournes what will be lost as they get older. I think it is a good thing to do. I think too many things slip away from us unnoticed and we never take the time to honor it.

For example, the last night we were at the campground, my dad stayed at the fire after everyone else went to bed. I asked him why he was staying up when every other night he was the first to go to bed. He said, "I'm a sentimental guy. I like to think about the trip and all the memories we made and say a prayer." Wow. As he was talking about it, I saw his emotions. He told me that he does this at the end of every camping trip! He also said he does it whenever they leave a house (which he's only done twice). He said when they left their apartment, as a young married couple, he would make sure he was the last one to leave. He would spend time in the room thinking of all the memories that were made there, almost like making a recording in his mind so he wouldn't forget them. He did that 39 years ago, before I was born, and he did it just two years ago with the house he raised his kids in.

I know I've done it before...like the night before I got married. I knew it would be the last time I would be sleeping in my parent's house as their responsibility. After that night, I would be on my own. After he told me this, I layed down in bed and thought about my Dad and how he won't always be there. And then I practically wrote his eulogy. I thought about how I would recite the poem I wrote, and then talk about this conversation with my Dad. I would say to the congregation that this room (the church), would be the last place my Dad would be before returning to his Maker. And then I would talk about all the people in the room and how each one holds memories of my Dad and that we should all mark this moment and remember who he was, because now he's moving on. And just like he does right before he leaves a chapter in his life, we should say a prayer...for him and everyone he loved. And then I started to fight back tears. I didn't want to think about my Dad's funeral, but it is a way to prepare the mind. And it's a way to treasure the gift he is to us while he's still alive. My Dad is not sick...he's not looking like he's ready to wrap up his life. I guess I'm just more aware of his mortality after celebrating him turning 70 over the trip.

Stacey, you are right...my blogs can turn into books when I haven't done it in a while. And to think I didn't know what I would write when I started...it all seems to unfold somehow....