A Retreat With No Shower??

Tomorrow morning I leave on a short retreat with women from my parish. I say the term "leave" loosely, because I will be 10 minutes away, staying in the junior high building of our school. If it doesn't sound like plush accommodations, it's because it isn't. We will be sleeping on cots in the classrooms with no shower facilities. Sounds nice, huh? The retreat goes 'til 4pm on Sunday. I'm trying to figure out how to feel as clean as possible on that second day. I'm stewing up a plan on how I will wash my hair. I'm picturing myself stooped over a little "junior high" bathroom sink, washing my hair and then with high maintenance flair, going through the steps of blowing it dry and teasing and hairspraying it...followed up of course, by a full application of make up.

We all have our own steps we need to take to feel "put together". These are mine gosh darnit and I'm stickin' to them! Do I sound a little protective of my routine? Well, hey...I'm sacrificing my full shower! I'm willing to put up with that "not so fresh" feeling. Isn't that good enough? I mean, I put spray gel and hairspray on my hair every day. I really need to wash that stuff off! Yes, I can just brush through my hair like the next girl, but I just don't feel right. Getting my shower every day makes me feel ready to face the day. Since I can't have a shower, washing my hair would be the closest I could get to that.

When I explained this to my sister whose been on a CRHP, she said, "You mean you wash your hair every day?". Yes! You might reason that I could wash my hair as soon as I get home...but the point is, if I just was going home in the morning, no problem. But I would have to sit like that all day. It would be pure torture. I would be with all of these women whom I barely know with dirty, old, hairsprayed ridden hair. I just can't do it. I'd like to think of myself as a non-shallow, low maintenance person who is not whatsoever self conscious, but this totally blows my cover. I asked my sister, Lisa, if she remembered anyone washing their hair in the sink. "No...and I don't remember the sounds of any blowdryers either, but if you want to do it, DO IT!".

This is where the self conscious part comes in. My desire to be clean has more to do with myself than other people. After all, I get my shower in before Ted leaves for work, not because I'm going to be seeing other people, but because I just feel better and ready for my day. However, I get self-conscious thinking about what people will think when they see me going to extra lengths to wash my hair. And then I worry about coming out looking all perfect and making them feel like crap. I know...it's complicated. These are my inner voices that plague me all day *smile*. This is the conflict within myself that brews. Maybe I'll wash my hair before I go to bed and then I don't have to turn on the loud blow dryer that draws attention to myself in the morning. Hmmm...

I know it looks like I'm focusing on a small, stupid problem when I should be concerned and praying for the success of the retreat. I have been praying that it all goes well and that God blesses it...and well, this is just an example of my human nature. I'm not this perfectly spiritual person who has it all together. I worry about dumb stuff that won't matter for anything when it comes to the goal of heaven. However, I've lived with myself long enough to know, that I need to accept my idiosyncrasies and work with them. We'll see how it goes.

I don't know how the retreat will go...but at least I'll know my hair will look good. *snort* just kidding.