My friend who had brain cancer died today (pictured, far left--2 years ago. I was puffy and pregnant). I cried a little...and then found myself moving on in conversation with kids. It struck me that I could move on. I pictured the scene at her house that moment. I imagined people moving around, making decisions, feeling like everything is just surreal. I imagined her still body in her hospital bed in her room...the stillness only a body has when the soul as left it. I thought of her husband's grief. What could he be feeling now? Loneliness? Emptiness? Unbelievable sadness? Of course, he knew it was coming. She's been home now for a while with no more treatment planned. She fell 2 months ago and went downhill from there to her bedridden state for a month.
This last week she slept all week. Is this a way a body reserves it's energy when it's dying? I'm amazed by the process...the fingertips get blue, the breathing rattles, a glaze comes over the face, the organs begin to fail and the heart stops beating. In that moment (I assume), the soul leaves the body and is transported to Heaven. Everything that Gwen has done in the last 16 or so years of her life was for this moment...meeting her Maker. She found her faith through her husband in college. Her life was changed ever since. In Heaven she is cancer free, worry free, whole and complete. It's the ultimate reunion and celebration. It just came so soon in a life of only 37 years.
She leaves behind a husband and three kids between the ages 10 and 4. I'm so sad for them. Who can take the place of a mother? What about Mary...her 4 year old? Gwen's own mother left her when she was young. They had little contact with each other. Gwen said her grandma lived with them and she acted as her mother. How ironic that Mary and her two brothers now have their grandma (dad's mom) living with them, taking on the duties of mom. Gwen's father is in town with his new wife. I bet he feels abandoned twice now. Who expects to outlive their own child?
Gwen brought her grandma to Christ before her grandma died. Now Gwen can see her again. May she rest in peace... Heck no! She's partyin'!!
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