It's Just a Game

Last Sunday, while Ted was on retreat, my parents watched Ben and Mary while I went with Abby to Sam's basketball game. It was great to be able to see one of his games because it seems like it's been awhile. Ted and I have to take turns because if we brought Mary, there would need to be a fence around the court to keep her off of it.

It's really sad to say, but the experience was not very pleasant. There were a couple of very big, physical players on the other team who plowed through our rather scrawny team. These guys just mauled us. In turn, our team became more aggressive with their hands and shoulders. I felt like these third graders were playing for their lives! What is going on here? It's just a game! The refs didn't call enough of the fouls, so this enthusiastic playing just escalated throughout the game. Our coaches started getting more verbal and yelling at the refs. It all came to a peak when our assistant coach stood up from his chair and yelled, "Blow the damn whistle, ref!!!!!!", at the top of his lungs for all to hear. This got the parents mad on the other team and there were fighting words and gestures going back and forth.

Is this Catholic, third grade basketball? What are we teaching our kids? I think the coaches need a review of why we are here, they should never be allowed to yell at a volunteer, teenage ref. I think the refs need to be coached on how to call the game, and I think the parents need to talk to their kids on how to play the game with respect to the other players.

It makes me appreciate what we had with Upwards basketball. It was so well run. The refs were constantly being supervised and coached, the coaches were there to mentor the kids and always showed an awesome example of love and encouragement. They didn't have the "win or die" mentality.

You could argue that that a softer touch would never produce a winning team and that you need a fierce, competitive attitude to be successful in winning games. I agree with some of that, but not in third grade. Fortunately, Sam is being played more fairly than he was before. He's even trying a little harder to get open for a pass and occasionally calls for the ball. Unfortunately, some of his players avoid passing it to him, even when no one else is open, because they know he's not that good.

I never thought watching my kids in sports could be so painful. I'm secretly wishing that Sam would quit, but he says he still enjoys basketball (even though he often spaces out on the court). We'll continue to support his desire to play, but I'm just afraid the competition will just get worse. We'll just have to wait and see.

I do have to say that the assistant coach who cussed at the top of his lungs, apologized to the parents of our team and the kids for losing his temper. It just wasn't enough for me. He shouldn't be that worked up to begin with. He should have more self control in front of our kids. After all, it's just a game...AND WE DON'T EVEN KEEP SCORE YET!!!! God help us when we do.