Work Away From Home

This is what I would call our camping trip over Labor Day weekend. It was not a vacation. It was more like "work...away from home". Now, I really hate sounding negative...but I always want to be real. And sometimes "real" is somewhat negative. Ben was just a lot of work.

Now, we're not dummies. We know what we are getting ourselves into when we go camping. We've had two other bad experiences this summer. We don't do this to punish ourselves. We mainly do it hoping it will be better this time and we also know that Sam and Abby will thoroughly enjoy themselves. We hope we can carve out some relaxation for ourselves, but instead we are doing a lot of tag teaming. My husband is a mere man in the passing. He's a great help and I couldn't do it without him but I hardly see him when we're camping: "Ok..I'll take Abby and Sam to the beach and you can stay here while Ben and Mary nap" or "You can stay by the campfire while I tuck the kids in bed and wait for them to fall asleep" or "I'll go to the 8am mass and take Abby and you can go to the 10:30 with Sam".

I know it won't be like this forever. And I'm sorry, but I get really frustrated when people tell me not to wish it away because it all goes by so fast. I want to say, "Do YOU want to do it all over again?" Now, don't get me wrong, we have some really nice Little House on the Prarie moments too. But right now, Ben is extremely high maintenance and we are constantly slicing cheese for the "whinefest". And I don't think it's just the twos. I've had two year olds before and yes, they have fits...they just seemed happier more often than Ben. Case in point, there was another two year old there (we camped with 3 other families) and this boy was a complete angel. He adapted well to the new environment, was not clingy or whiney AT ALL. He was social with other people and listened when his parents told him to not throw the rocks. When you have a real life comparison, then you know you are not going crazy. And the family across the street has a very laid back two year old too. So I know Ben is more difficult than the norm. It's nice to get those validating statements every once in a while like the one I got from my sister this weekend (she went too and observed the whinefest), "Missy, he would drive ME crazy."

One thing I remind myself is that we as humans look at other people's lives with tunnel vision. We see what we want to see, or are able to see, and not the whole picture. So I know that these other two year olds aren't perfect. But for some reason, these logical statements don't help when I'm watching other people hanging out and having full conversations while I'm trying to keep my child happy.

What's wild about these stages...as difficult as they are, they end. I know next year will be a totally different camping year. Ben will be 3 and Mary will be 1 1/2. Ben might let Sam and Abby help him more than he does now. I try to focus on this when I'm frustrated. But it's still hard. And I know Mary has some part in this too. Ben's personality probably is aggravated by the fact he has to share me... and had to at a young age. But he loves Mary. They will make great playmates and do already.

Another thing I have to look forward to is an ACTS retreat in about 2 1/2 weeks. It's starts on a Thursday evening and goes until Sunday. It will be great to have that time away. I'm fortunate to have a supportive husband who is willing to take a day off work on Friday and watch the kids all weekend. When we were camping I ran into a girl I used to work with. When I asked about her husband, she told me he died of a serious infection around his heart last February. What breaks does SHE have to look forward to?? There is always someone around who puts things into perspective. Who reminds you things could be worse.