A Snapshot

What's at the top of my to-do list?
--Find a veil for Abby's First Communion/ purchase stockings as well
--Prepare for Children's Liturgy that's this Sunday
--Catechist Seminar Saturday morning
--Find babysitter for Blue and Gold banquet this Saturday night (Cub scout awards dinner)
--Make a dinner or send gift card for friend who broke her arm and is a mother to SEVEN!!

What have I accomplished? Everything I accomplished was in preparation for that dinner party! --Furnished Dining Room!
--Got the Family room and Dining room carpets cleaned
--Re-upholstered a living room chair (and replaced the cushion) which had a tear in the seat! I kept putting this off...all it took was a dinner party!!
--Bought new knives since I swear I damaged some nerves cutting the Beef Wellington with a dull knife.
--Made reservations for a campground in Door County called Tranquil Timbers for our summer trip. The reservations were made for my parents, my sister's family and us. I'm really looking forward to it.
--I called our local community center for swim lessons for Sam and Abby. I need to make another call to complete the registration.
--Signed up Ben for preschool next year. I got afternoons instead of mornings...but I think this may work better for me anyway.

What's bugging me?
--I need to exercise. Ted's parents gave us their old treadmill. The thought keeps going through my head that Ted and I need to really make an effort and schedule exercise. I think it would work best after dinner. We each get a turn for thirty minutes. I've been using the kids as an excuse...but I'm thinking if I did it when Ted got home, it could work. I put on a pair of normally snug pants the other day that are now to the point of "uncomfortable". In my mirror I could see shadows of cottage cheese on my thighs. I need to exercise. I think it will give me more energy too.
--Mary's latest craze of walking around with a capless marker. She loves doodling in her notepad. I don't want to take it away because it makes her SO HAPPY. But I find myself cringing as she goes near my couch, bed or my books. I had to take it away from her when she wanted to jump on my bed and you would think I took away her lifeline! She ended up finding another marker to walk around with. They are washable markers...but still.
--Mary will not let me blog without sitting in my lap, with my arms stretched around her to reach the keyboard. She is with me right now as I type. And I have purple marks all over my arms from the marker she is wielding.
--Ben has decided to join me and Mary in the shower every morning so I now have a fuller shower. I guess I can be grateful my shower is big enough for a preschooler, a toddler and toys. It's quite the scene.
--I haven't increased my prayer time like I thought I would this Lent.

What's my latest obsession?


I've been thinking about soup. It all started with left over Gruyere cheese from the Beef Wellington dinner and I wanted to think of a good way to use it. Well, French Onion soup is topped with gruyere cheese. The problem is, I don't have those crocks to make it with. The soup can be made in a regular pot, but then you have to bake the cheese on top in little crocks that can go in the oven. I'm not going to rush out and buy crocks...but I don't want to let this keep me from making French Onion Soup! Another soup I'm dying to make is Baked Potato Soup. I have the recipe, I just need to make a meal plan and buy the ingredients. If I take out the bacon, both soups are great Lenten meals for Friday.
--This interest in cooking again. I've been watching the Food Network again (bits and pieces). I want to record a show but I don't know which one.

What's been making me happy?
--My lunch out with Ted yesterday
--Our date night last weekend when we saw the movie "Music and Lyrics"
--Warmer weather
--Looking forward to swim lessons and swim team for the kids. I went to my niece's swim practice last night and saw how proud she was and how much she enjoyed it.
--My Mom's Day Out. Totally. Love it. I will miss having one day free next year. Ben will be in half day preschool and I will keep Mary at home because they won't overlap much and would create more running around then it's worth. I think she'll be easier to run errands next year anyway.
--Ted recently received some great compliments from the VP in his department and the Regional VP at AT&T They both indicated see his potential for growth in the company. I'm so happy he has found such a great job!!
--We got our cable switched to the satellite company that partners with AT&T. Now we have a new DVR that allows us to use it on TWO TV's! We put the extra one in our bedroom. Now I can watch recorded shows while I fold laundry!

"Then I Offer You My Tiny Fish..."

"I write just as the ideas come into my head. I sit, as it were, and cast my fishing line at random into the little stream flowing through my heart. Then I offer you my tiny fish just caught as they are." St. Therese of Lisieux

I love this line from the book "The Story of a Soul". It is totally how this blog is written. I don't go to certain streams for the right fish, I catch them, right in my own little stream...as they are. Sometimes I think I look back and want to throw those fish that were caught, back into the stream while I search for better ones. But no, the fish you see are the ones you see for the moment...caught in whatever state I find it. There is no doctoring up. It's not really polished, but it is real. Sometimes I think before I write, "What do I have to say?" For some reason, when I start typing, it starts coming out. When I'm really stuck, I do "A Snapshot". That's why I started those. So I could get a starting point for my brain to thinking.

Just yesterday, my brother-in-law (a Youth Minister), e-mailed a bunch of people asking for quotes on "Prayer". He already had some and wanted to make sure he wasn't missing any important ones. Give me an assignment and I will come through! I love the topic of prayer. I immediately started pouring into my Mother Teresa and St. Therese books. I thought I would share with you what I gave him.

Since I love Mother Theresa…here are some to choose from that came from her book “No Greater Love”:

“We want so much to pray properly and then we fail. We get discouraged and give up. If you want to pray better, you must pray more. God allows the failure but He does not want the discouragement. He wants us to be more childlike, more humble, more grateful on prayer, to remember we all belong to the mystical body of Christ, which is praying always.”

“Our prayers should be burning words coming fourth from the furnace of hearts filled with love. In your prayers, speak to God with great reverence and confidence. Do not drag behind or run ahead; do not shout or keep silent, but devoutly, with great sweetness, with natural simplicity, without any affection offer your praise to God with the whole heart and soul.”

“Often a deep and fervent look at Christ is the best prayer: I look at Him and He looks at me.”

“In the silence of the heart God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you. Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself.”


And my other favorite….St Therese of Lisieux from her autobiography, “The Story of a Soul”:

“For me, prayer means launching out of the heart toward God; a cry of grateful love from the crest of joy or the trough of despair; it is the despair; it is a vast, supernatural force that opens out my heart, and binds me close to Jesus.”

“The power of prayer is really tremendous. It makes one like a queen who can approach the king at any time and get whatever she asks for. To be sure of an answer, there is no need to recite from a book a formula composed for the occasion. If there were, I should have to be pitied.”

“Though I’m quite unworthy, I love to say the Divine Office every day, but apart from that I cannot bring myself to hunt through books for beautiful prayers. There are so many of them that I get a headache. Besides, each prayer seems lovelier than the next. I cannot say them all and do not know which to choose, I behave like children who cannot read: I tell God very simply what I want and He always understands. For me, prayer is an upward leap of the heart, an untroubled glance towards heaven, a cry of gratitude and love which I utter from the depths of sorrow as well as from the heights of joy. It has a supernatural grandeur which expands the soul and unites it with God. I say an Our Father or a Hail Mary when I feel so spiritually barren that I cannot summon up a single worthwhile thought. These two prayers fill me with rapture and feed and satisfy my soul.”

Come Tour My House...Quick Before It's Messy Again!!

Sometimes I make myself laugh. When I had my house all clean for the dinner party last weekend and the Ted was taking the kids to my parents...I was there all alone. Do you know how rare that is? For one, every room in my house being clean at the same time...and two, I was alone in the said clean house. Rare, I tell you. So what do I do? Well first, I poured myself a glass of wine. Then, I grabbed my camera and started snapping away. When else will my house be this clean? Maybe for Abby's First Communion. But, I'm very conditioned to cleaning up toys, only to have them dumped again. Washing dishes, to make room for more dirty dishes. Doing laundry, only to have more clothes be dirtied. Cleaning a carpet, only to have more urine, grape jelly and play doh stain it again. If I'm sounding bitter, I'm not trying to. It's just the cycle of life. And lately I'm pretty grateful for all the life surrounding me right now. All those things mean, I am surrounded by people and I'm not lonely!
These first two pictures are of Abby and Mary's room. The first is a view from the bedroom door if you were to look right. That bedspread I bought for Abby at TJ Maxx or Marshall's, and can't seem to buy another one for Mary. They only had one at the time, but the lady assured me they get them all the time. I haven't found it since. It is a "That's Me" brand and it's Sophia Rose pattern. I'm kinda a "matchy matchy" girl and it might drive me a bit crazy not to have the girls quilts match. I hate to buck up and get the whole quilt bundle (with more things than I want) on the internet. The other option is to buy two more quilts that match. This one was only about $30.

As you see, the new white closet doors and trim were put up in January. I also need to get a dresser that matches the chest of drawers because Abby has outgrown it. There is a little white desk in the corner that my sister nabbed at a garage sale. The curtains are valentine table cloths (bought post season three years ago) split in two to make panels and hung on clip rings.



The next two pictures are of my room. To the left of the guitar is a hallway that has shelving and our closets and it leads to the master bath. I no longer like the golden oak. I'd prefer a dark mahogany. But what do you do? You can't waste good furniture! Both my parents and in-laws have had the same bedroom furniture since they've been married! We're talking a good 40+ years for both of them! The entertainment center was given to us by our old neighbors. It matches perfectly and helps us fill that big wall. On the opposite wall (adjacent to the bed) is my dresser and Ted's chest of drawers.

These next two are of our breakfast room. The first one isn't a great picture since it was taken at dusk. The seat closest to the wall is where I sit to blog on my laptop. Of course, with guests coming over, we stored the laptop away. After that is the kitchen (to the right of the breakfast room). I'm tellin' ya...my counters never look like that. To the right of the fridge is a doorway that leads to the Family Room. This view is from the doorway. The next picture is from the fireplace. I almost don't recognize it because there are no toys on the floor and the carpets are cleaned!

And last, is our living room. I didn't post the dining room since I showed it on the last post. And Ben's room was also posted previously. I hope you enjoyed our little tour. Thank you for coming to see my house!!

My Beef Wellington Dinner Party

I'm finally back! Sorry. Sometimes it just takes all of your mental and physical energy to plan for an event. I was pretty consumed for two weeks and now the event is over and I'm back. It all started with my idea to host the next dinner party for our college dinner group. We had been in our new house for three years and never hosted our dinner party group here! Partially because I never knew what we would do with the kids. In those three years, I was mostly nursing and busy with two babies and didn't want to give anyone too much work by leaving them there. Now the little ones are a little older and easier and we decided it was finally time! We asked my parents to take the kids during the dinner portion and would pick them up in time for bed.

When we decided to host, I asked Ted if we could FINALLY buy furniture for our dining room. He agreed it was a good time to buy, now that he had a job and we had paid off the basement. So three weeks before our dinner party, we went shopping for furniture. I might have blogged about it, but in case I didn't, it was a mad rush from store to store with four kids in the car. Ted would pull up to a store, I would dart in and decide if there was anything I liked and I would report back to Ted in the car. It was a crazy day...but I knew what I wanted. Something simple. Sometimes that's hard to find. Are last stop was Macy's, where we knew we had seen a set we liked a couple of weeks earlier, while shopping at the mall. We liked it even more this time around since we had done all our homework before hand. That day we purchased a dining room table, 8 chairs and a china cabinet.

The Friday before we had our dinner party, we had our family room and dining room carpets cleaned. The furniture was delivered the same day (we had to store the pieces in the living room until the carpet dried). Now for decor! I knew right away that the window needed curtains. Before it looked fine without them, but now I need something to balance the china cabinet on the opposite wall. I was on a mission! That same Friday night I ran to JC Penney's and found some panels in the right shade of red that I was looking for (burnt red). I bought two pairs, one for the living room too! I had to wait until Wednesday to get the dining room ones because they had to be ordered through the catalog. I needed a longer length for our sunk in dining room.

The rest of the week was busy with purchasing a new pepper mill and salt shaker, steak knives (we only had 6), water glasses, wine glasses and art work for a big, blank wall. We already had plates that I had collected when I discovered the beauty of cranberry toile. I picked them up in different patterns and liked the idea of mix and match and not having them all in one print. There were plenty of things I borrowed too: a table cloth, a glass water pitcher, a meat thermometer and a pastry brush.

It was so exciting to set my table! I've never done a formal table before! I've never used my new dinner plates! It was bigger to me than the climax of the meal. My dining room was finished! It had a personality now. I didn't realize how much this would complete the house and complete me. Having everyone over and using the room was going to be the best part.

These dinner parties range from casual to formal (but rarely formal in attire). We've done it all: dinner theatre, Oscar parties, theme parties, appetizer nights, pizza nights, etc. Anything goes. Our dinner party friends started as a group of five couples with no kids. In about 12 years, we've weathered a divorce, a death of a spouse, added a couple, and 16 children. It's continued to be an "adults only" affair where we can eat, drink, talk and laugh. We forget about the worries of the world for about 5 hours. We love this group. I wanted to give them something special. I decided to make a Beef Wellington that I had eaten over the holidays at a friends...and loved it!! I had never made a Beef Wellington, but I knew that eating one was heavenly! This recipe is a beef tenderloin, covered in a mushroom/wine/gruyere cheese mixture, baked in a puff pastry and covered with a mushroom/wine sauce that is out of this world.

I wanted to make sure we bought even meat because we were hosting 12 people. Since the divorced friend broke up with the guy she was dating, we ended up having 11 people. I bought a 9 pound beef tenderloin, that was trimmed down to 7 1/2 pounds and then cut in half. I wanted to make sure I had enough, but it was too much. I probably could have gotten away with the 7 pounder that I saw, but oh well.

Ted and I prepared for the party all day. When the guests came, it was time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor. And we did! For me, when everyone was there, it was not about my house, not about my new dining room, not about my place settings or new curtains...it was about using it all to entertain them and let them know their importance to us. I love entertaining to show people how much we love them and want them to have a great time at our home. That's what it's all about.

A Snapshot

What's at the top of my to-do list?
--Prepare for new Dining Room furniture! It's being delivered on Friday. I'd like to have some idea on how to decorate the room before my dinner party in a week and a half. Did I just say a week and a half?? YIKES!!
--Get the Dining Room and Family Room carpets cleaned.
--Start working on the PTO album. We've been taking pictures at all of our events so we can make an album for the school. It will be available at our two big meetings a year and Back to School night, for people to browse through. We are also keeping all the pictures digitally, so we can have a slide showing while people are in the long line at the Back to School night.

What have I accomplished?
--On my Mom's Day Out day, I cleaned the house and caught up on laundry instead of going "out". It felt so good. It was worth it.
--Made a schedule for the liturgical year next year for Children's Liturgy. I found a website that gave me next year's liturgical calendar. All I have to do is plug in the volunteers. It already has the season, the color and the dates on it. I know this is way in advance but I saved it to use later. I like doing things while I'm motivated and thinking about it.
--Got Abby's dress for First Communion. My friend had two to choose from that she bought for bargain prices last year. One of them doesn't fit her daughter, so I get it! I think it was only $15.
--Bought treat bag items for three kids at "Life's a Party". I got those rubber bracelets in pink and red for Abby's class (30!), and some for Mary's class. I got Valentine stickers for Ben's class.
--Registered Ben for preschool next year. I didn't register as soon as I could have so the morning classes are FULL! I took afternoon. It runs M,W,F 12:30-3:00. It's right next door to the older kids grade school so pick up will be interesting because they both let out at the same time. Hmmm...

What's bugging me?
--It's not really bugging me, but I'm pondering how to nicely put 10 people at a table that fits 8. I think I'm going to bring up my corner nook table from downstairs and add it to the end of my new table. I don't know how it will work height-wise. And then I'm thinking...do I put a table cloth over the whole thing? How do I find a table cloth long enough? Do I make it myself? Do I put two together and do each table separately? Hmmmm...Maybe I just stick two people at each end and 4 on each side. My table is 44 inches wide. It could work.
--I missed my scheduled Children's Liturgy time this past Sunday. My last one was Dec 17, so I just thought it was one to two weeks later. I should have double checked my schedule. Duh! It was so embarrassing, the priest called out for the Children's Liturgist and no one came. The church was FULL of families because it was Boy Scout Sunday. He said, "UH OH". When no one came up. I thought...could it be MY turn?? Later, me and some other liturgists discovered it was my turn. I sent out an apology to the group via e-mail. It was utterly humiliating. I think I'm finally starting to forgive myself.
--Ben and Mary are taking scissors to my fake plants! NO! They WON'T grow back!

What's my latest obsession?
--I've been thinking about how to decorate my Dining Room. I think one big piece of artwork is in order. But where do I go from there? I know...I should just wait until the furniture comes in.
--The Food network channel. I spent so much time researching my Beef Wellington, I was wishing I knew more about cooking. I'm thinking about putting one of the shows on my record list next to Oprah. Then I can decide when I have time to watch them instead of being subject to their scheduling. Which show do I record? Paula Dean? That pretty, Italian girl?, the half home-made/half store bought lady? You can tell I'm bad at names. And then there's Rachel Ray. Which one?? You guys have a lot of questions to answer.

What's been making me happy?
--I'm finally getting new Dining Room furniture. After three years of living with an empty room. I can't believe it. I'm so excited.
--Ted eluded that maybe next year we can replace some of our flooring. That's why I avoided cleaning the carpet. But it's so affordable to do, it's worth getting them cleaned to tie me over.
--Mary is through (temporarily) that horribly crabby stage she was going through last week. Thank God. Things have been pretty good this week.

A Word Aptly Spoken...

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" Proverbs 25:11

I wish this was on my scripture calendar yesterday. I could have used that bit of wisdom. Last night I just felt tired and frustrated at what little time I have for myself. I unleashed all my frustration with Ted as I expressed my unhappiness with the piles and piles of laundry, the mess in the basement, and that the last 30 minutes of my relaxation of the evening was spent straightening because I had just remembered baby Leah would be coming over today and I would need to get up at 6am to be ready for her (she's dropped off at 6:15am). And of course, Ted is leaving today for a weekend retreat with his Men's Group.

Do you think he needed to hear all that before leaving? No. Does everyone have a right to vent? Sure. But did I communicate all of this in any time for him to do anything about it? No. Last night was crazy. I had to shop for Ted's groceries for the weekend and then come home and help him make the potatoes. Luckily, I cooked the roast beef all day yesterday. But still, by the time you get everyone in bed (9:15pm) and then try to eek out 45 minutes before you realize the house is a mess and a baby will be arriving in 8 hours. We quickly straightened it up before flopping into bed. And then we are supposed to spend quality time together. Ted spent his time listening to me complain. I would say it was FAR from "apples of gold in settings of silver".

This morning after Leah was dropped off and she was happily playing in her stationary walker, I remembered friends who had lost a baby and wanted to send her a note. I poured my heart into this note since I have lost two of my own. They lost theirs at 3 months. He was two inches long. This is what I said:

"At first, when you experience a tragedy, it feels like it's all about the tragedy, but then God showers you with His love through others...and suddenly, you feel blessed. I'm so sorry you had to experience the greatest tragedy of all--the loss of a child. It's hard to fathom the fullness of the loss of a baby so young. I remember trying to sit and take it all in. It's hard to grieve over a life you'll never know--one you never got to truly experience. But little Christopher gave you gifts before he left: 1) You got to know his sex--What a gift to name him! 2) You got to see him and hold him--Another blessing! 3) Your kids will always remember baby Christopher (Abby still talks about Maggie and April. They'll always be her sisters, even though she never saw them) 4) You have an angel in heaven. And 5) God has shown you the love and compassion of your friends and family. Christopher came bearing gifts and they'll stay in your heart forever, even though you have very few memories to go off of. May God's loving care surround you and envelope you and give you peace at this time."

Nobody really know the words this family needs to hear at this time. Many people struggle over the right thing to say. I try not to shove the "bright side" in their faces at this time. I try to share in their grief as much as I can. After I wrote the note and put it in the mailbox, Ted let me take a shower before he left for work and his retreat. I always read my calendar before I take my shower. The words of Proverbs struck me. The stark difference between my words last night and my words this morning stood clearly before me. I couldn't believe how they both can come out of the same mouth. That God can use my tongue for compassion and reassurance...and I can use it to express so much resentment. This morning I was able to apologize to Ted before he left. He hugged me and kissed me and told me he understood...and even told me he understood how it felt to be shopping and cooking instead of relaxing at home together before his retreat. He's a good man. He just gave me his own "apples of gold".

Feeding a Large Crowd

I can't believe it's been a week since I have posted last. I just feel like it's been harder these days to find the time. Mary has been much more difficult lately and hardly gives me space. I'm thankful for this moment because she is off doing her own thing. The kids coming home from school has distracted her (Thank God).

Today, my dad came over so I could serve the teachers lunch for Teacher Appreciation Day since the PTO was responsible for this event. I made mashed potatoes for 45 people and it went great! Many of them wanted my recipe so I will give it here:

Garlic and Herb Mashed Potatoes
10 medium, Yukon Gold potatoes
1/2 cup of butter
8 oz cream cheese
8 oz sour cream
packet of garlic and herb seasoning (Knorr or Lipton).

It's the seasoning that gives it the extra kick and flavor. It's something I just discovered through experimentation. My potatoes are like my pizza. I like them so much, I will try different recipes and research the best ways to make them on the internet until I find my favorite!

For the teachers, I quadrupled the recipe. I peeled and cut up 15 pounds of potatoes (about 40). To make it for this large crowd I took my original recipe and made two double batches since I didn't have anything big enough to cook them in, all at one time. Each double batch fit comfortably in two separate stock pots. I boiled them, drained them and returned them to the stock pots to refrigerate. I found out from the internet, that I can make them up to two days in advance if kept refrigerated and even more advance if I wanted to freeze them! Because of the ingredients you add to the potatoes (cream cheese, sour cream...) it helps it to hold up better in the refrigerator and freezer! I was excited about this. I made one batch yesterday and the second, last night. I put one in my garage because I couldn't fit them all in my fridge and it was only 18 degrees last night (no they didn't freeze). This morning, I transferred them to two large crock pots and baked them at 400 degrees for 40 minutes. When they were done, I took them out and put them back in the crock heating element and plugged them in. It worked out great! They were kept nice and hot for serving at lunchtime. I've never made potatoes for quite this big of a group before, so I was worried about getting the quantity right and how to cook so much at one time. Separating the quadrupled recipe into two batches was the best thing to do!

Also served for the luncheon was Italian Beef on Italian bread with provolone cheese, fresh green beans, fruit salad, and pies from the local grocer. The fruit salad was apples (green and red), grapes, and mandarin oranges mixed with yogurt. YUM. I think I'll do this for Abby's First Communion! The green beans were cooked with onions and bacon. It was all so good, and luckily, we got to eat what we made afterwards.

Ted is going on retreat this weekend and he just told me yesterday that he signed up to bring dinner for Saturday night. I decided to use the beef I bought (at a great price) for Abby's First Communion, and of course....mashed potatoes!!! I LOVE mashed potatoes and it's an easy dish to make since you can make it in advance and put it in a crock pot to keep them warm or refrigerate them. I'll just have to buy beef for Abby's party later (it's not until April). Have I given you my beef recipe for the crock pot? I know some of you have it, but I'll post it again. It's an awesome way to feed a bunch of people. I've doubled and tripled the recipe for larger crowds.

"French Dip" Roast Beef
3 lb Chuck Roast
2 cups water
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 tsp dried Rosemary
1 tsp dried Thyme
1 tsp garlic powder
1 bay leaf
3 or 4 whole black peppers

Combine all the ingredients in a crock pot. Cook on low for 7-8 hours. Remove meat, shred with fork. I like to return them to the juices and serve it directly from a big, open crock pot. I often make this one in advance because it freezes so well and tastes great reheated.

Enough about recipes...I'll write more later. I gotta watch American Idol!!

The Vomit Has Left the Building

Well, I think the nasty bug is gone. Ben and Mary are finished with their diarrhea (Yah!!), Sam is better but felt too tired to go to school today. I'm keeping him home one more day. Abby has sidestepped the whole thing. Ted and I both felt a little yucky Monday night night... with Ted having little appetite on Tuesday (mine was fine). Hopefully Abby is not going to have a delayed reaction and come down with something. She's been very good so far. Sam will have a lot of catch up work to do, having missed 3 days of school! Yuck. I'd just rather not rush him back to school. He can rest when he wants to today and be fully prepared for the grind tomorrow.

I appreciated having a full night of sleep last night for the first time in a while. Mary woke me up at 5:30am fully awake and ready for the day, but Ted let me go back to bed as he had a late appointment and didn't need to leave right away. I feel well rested...the sun is out, the curtains are pushed back to let the sunshine pour in. I welcome it today. I had to draw them on other days so Sam could sleep on the couch. But today, it's full sunshine. Which is compatible to my outlook with the sick days behind us. It can be very depressing cleaning up vomit and diarrhea and listen to the moans of a sick child. There is nowhere to escape and no nanny to do it for you. You cringe as each child shows the beginning signs of housing the nasty virus. You just have to keep plugging away, praying that you don't catch it yourself. I'm grateful to come out virtually unscathed.

Puke Diaries, Part 2

It's a fuzzy picture, but I was trying to use natural lighting. It was early in the morning when the sun wasn't out. Yes...this is victim #3 to the awful virus that is ravaging it's way through our house. Poor Sam. The boy who washes his hands constantly to protect himself from germs...the one who stays far...far away from sick people...the one who has an ultra fear of throwing up...has this lovely virus raking his body. He's been the worst so far. That trash can from my "pretty bathroom"?...it's had a LOT of activity. He vomited repeatedly all morning...even when he had nothing left to give. The poor guy. He's been a trooper, though. I can tell he is proud of his ability to handle this. He's not minding staying at home either.

The diarrhea bug hit Ben today. Our worst fear...a boy who doesn't mind pooping in his pants and sitting in it in order to play more his favorite playstation game...has diarrhea. It only took one nasty episode for me to realize SOMETHING had to change. He's wearing pull-ups. Thank God! The second episode was much neater! Mary is still on her diarrhea rampage as well. I've already realized that I absolutely can NOT take them to Parent's Day Out tomorrow. And we canceled our sitter for tomorrow night too. I will take Abby to her First Reconciliation without Ted. When it comes to illness...family comes first! Everything else takes a far back seat. Whether you want it to or not, it just has to. It's amazing how many things are really cancelable when you get right down to it. I'm still praying Abby doesn't get touched by this mean monster. She is too. You should have seen her face this morning when she found out Sam was sick too. She had a look of panic with the sudden realization that she could be the next victim! When it hits Sam, it's too close to home for her.

With Ben and Mary wrapping up the bug in each diaper change that gets thrown away, I feel like I'm on the upswing, believe it or not. Sam is easy. After the first puke, he didn't even call us upstairs to help him. He just found his way to the bathroom and voila! However, I still laid awake in my bed with worry. I didn't fall asleep after that 3:50am bombshell hit. I heard every run to the bathroom. Yuck. With Ben and Mary out of the way, I see more sleep in my future. I think sick older kids are MUCH easier than sick younger kids.

Tune in next time for more Puke Diaries! (I considered switching to the word "wretch" thinking it sounded more polite...but it means "to try to vomit". We are definitely NOT trying here)

The Puke Diaries

It all started Wednesday evening, when our house became a "vomitorium". That's the term my friend uses for house full of vomiting people. Wednesday night while I was at a PTO board meeting, Mary threw up at 7:45pm. Ted cleaned her up and put her to bed, only to be up minutes later cleaning up more vomit, changing sheets, and relocating Abby to our bedroom who couldn't sleep. At 2:40am, we are awakened by that tell tale coughing sound. More vomit. I cleaned her up, changed the sheets and layed her back down. I had trouble going back to sleep, knowing the work ahead of me. Thursday wasn't bad. She held everything down all day, but she was very clinging. I just sat with her most of the day watching her shows. I called my sister, Becky to tell her I wouldn't be able to watch Leah on Friday. Ted didn't go to a subdivision meeting so he could relieve me. I was exhausted. I didn't get enough sleep the night before. I went to bed at 7pm.

On Friday, Mary was still clingy and crabby. I couldn't leave her side without her calling out for me. We watched more Dora. She didn't run a fever. She didn't sleep all day. In fact her naps during this time were a half hour to an hour. It was just exhausting to do nothing else but be with her. That evening, Ted took Sam to basketball practice and came back home. I went to a meeting that I found out when I got there, It was canceled. I was greeted by a crop group. I salivated. I was jealous and wished I could be cropping instead. But I reminded myself that I had an all day crop Sunday. I came back home and then left again to pick Sam up from practice at 9pm.

Ted and I stayed up late talking Friday night since we didn't have any time together all week. We should have known better, At 5am Saturday morning, Ben calls out that he has to go potty. This is the pain of having children on a different level. Ted runs upstairs and takes Ben to the bathroom. After urinating, he threw up. It was a plus that he got it in the toilet. Ted put him back in bed and told me what happened. I had a hard time going back to sleep. It's Ben's turn to go through the stomach flu. The next morning he woke us up bright and early, 6am. He begged for a drink. It worked with Mary, I thought I'd try with him. Nope. It all came back up on his shirt. More clothes changed and washing up to do. He was hungry at 9am. I took it as a sign that he could handle something. I gave him a poptart...all is well. It stays down. Ted took Sam to the Pinewood Derby while I stayed home with the kids that morning. Sam did well enough to not be embarassed (all I care about). The day went on with no more puking, but we knew it wasn't over. Mary's illness had changed to diarrhea and I kept myself busy changing her diapers. They had to be changed with a towel under her because they were so fluidy and messy. I was so tired Saturday, when Ted got home from the Pinewood Derby, I took a nap from 12:30pm until 3:30pm. We think that stress makes me tired. We knew we'd have to cancel our prized date night that we were so looking forward to. I went to the 5pm mass. Ben slept on the couch from dinner time on.

Saturday evening, we decided to have a game night with Sam and Abby who had not had much attention since all this started. We transferred Ben (who was still sleeping) to bed. Ted made a fire in the fireplace. It was really a relaxing evening. After Sam and Abby went to bed, we poured ourselves some wine and sat down to find a movie to order. We couldn't get Video On Demand to work, but that doesn't matter, because at 9:45pm, Ben puked all over himself in his bed. Ted and I worked together as a well oiled machine. We stripped the Bed and Ben. Washed him down with a soapy washcloth. Changed his covers, pillow and sheets. Thank God for waterproof mattress pads! After getting Ben back in Bed we sat down and looked at each other wearily. I thanked God for him. What would I do without him? How do single mothers do it?? Grateful for each other we were content to watch the news with no wine. Neither of us felt the desire to drink after the disgust of what we just cleaned up. We went to bed at a decent time since we were so tired and not knowing what tomorrow would bring. At 2:30am, Ben called out for a drink. I went up there and got his cup. He was wet from peeing in his pants. Forget it, I'm not changing sheets again! I'll do it tomorrow! I changed him into dry clothes, put a dry pad over his sheets, filled up his drink and put him back to bed. At least it wasn't puke.

Ben and Mary both woke up at 6am this morning. Ted let me sleep in until 7:30am when he needed to get ready for church. He told me that Mary threw up her milk this morning. What?? She's not done yet? It's day 5 for her. Neither she nor Ben had dinner last night. They go through waves of wanting to eat and keeping down and then we get a surprise in the early morning, or middle of the night. It's strange. They are both sleeping right now. Ben has gone 16 hours without throwing up and Mary has gone about 7 hours. I was supposed to crop day, but I canceled it. Sam has a basketball game at 5pm and it's just not worth it. I want to crop longer...I'll wait until I can...and enjoy it.

The pukey illnesses that come with raising kids are my least favorite part of being a mom. I don't like those kinds of surprises, worrying about where it's going to land, when will it happen and the lack of sleep. I love keeping my kids happy. When they are sick...they aren't happy. I prefer the fever illnesses where they lay on the couch all day and drift in and out of sleep. Those seem easier. I'm hoping we are at the tail end. I hope Sam and Abby don't get it. We keep sending them outside to play in the snow. Yes, we have snow again. They are having a blast. Good for them.

(The view from my couch which I seem to be sitting a lot on these days...)

A "Frozen" Snapshot

What's at the top of my to-do list?
--Prepare game plan for all day crop on Sunday. Whose album do I work on this time?
--Get Abby ready for First Reconciliation on Tuesday
--Plan date night with Ted Saturday night (where to eat, what movie to watch...sitter done)
--Buy dessert for Pinewood Derby on Saturday morning

What have I accomplished?
--Threw bday party for Mother-in-Law last Saturday
--Shaved my legs this morning one handed while using the other hand to keep the shower door shut from screaming two year old (she is very strong!)
--Researched how to make Beef Wellington for a dinner party we're hosting in February

What's bugging me?
--Mary's difficult day after Parent's Day Out. She screamed through most of carpool and had a very crabby evening. We put her down 45 minutes early.
--My shower episode was not enjoyable either.
--Freezing cold weather. I'm not a person who enjoys weather under 25 degrees. Yesterday it was 12!
--Changing my phone number I've had for 13 years because of our switch to AT&T. I'm worried about forgetting someone like Mom's Day Out, School, Church, friends. Yikes! Changing my e-mail address won't be fun either.

What's my latest obsession?
--Thinking about next year. I lose a family in carpool. I could lose both families. Two girls are going to highschool. The other lady has to drive her higschooler to school every day so it's not really worth it for her to carpool for her 3rd grader. It won't save her a trip. I've already made a call to a friend to see if she wants to carpool. I love carpooling!!!
--Floating picture frames from Gordman's. We hung some of the kid's artwork in the basement and I love it!

What’s been making me happy?
--American Idol is back!!
--I'm looking forward to getting involved in swim team this summer. I've been talking to people who do it and it's getting me excited
--My left over chocolate chip cheese ball
--Seeing the appreciation from my in-laws for party we put on for them

The Happiness Secret

OK. I found another article about finding joy in your life. It was in the December issue of Family Circle. The article was titled "The Happiness Secret" and written by Marisa Cohen. I think these articles came out over the holidays when many people are depressed. Even when I'm not depressed, I love to hear about how to be happy. The article starts by telling you that all the things we need to make us happy are right under our noses, we just sometimes don't notice them because we are too busy looking for it in other places. They say it's unrealistic to feel great all the time. Dana Lightman, Ph.D, a psychotherapist in Philadelphia says, "A full life is complex and filled with situations that bring about anger, sadness and frustration as well as joy". I liked this point. Sometimes I can think something is wrong with me when I have an anxious or down day. But I like the thinking that it's all a part of life and to just accept it as it is. She also says, "Happiness isn't a continuous state. It comes in moments, and it's the contrast between the ups and downs that makes the good times stand out." Amen, sister.

Many people think that leaving each day as if it was your last, is the key to appreciating life. M.J. Ryan, a life coach in San Francisco says, "If you never thought about the future and just ate cake and spent all your money recklessly, you'd end up overweight and broke." Don't you like this article??? Here's a key point made by Lightman:

Make a practice of slowing down and taking the time to recognize and appreciate the small joys around you and you'll create a more positive perspective that helps in all aspects of your life.

Of course, Family Circle has their own steps to follow to find happiness in your life:

1. Make a list of what moves you. Sound familiar? Make a list of the things you love...big and small and keep adding to the list when you think of more. These things should include whatever pleases your senses, stimulates your body and mind (a crossword puzzle, exercise), and ways in which you connect with others (date night with husband, game night with kids). It can also be small things that are easy to do or future goals you can work towards, like planning a camping trip.
2. Pencil in time for fun. Family Circle says to plan these times like you would any other appointment. Do something for yourself (like watching a taped Oprah) or with someone else (movie night with the kids).
3. Get unplugged. "You have to be engaged in the world to experience transcendent moments, which is hard to do if you have one eye on your BlackBerry and one ear on your cell phone, says Stephen Shapiro, author of Goal-Free Living. I call it "being fully present", Oprah's psychologist friend (name??) calls it "showing up". I'm so guilty of being distracted by e-mail, surfing the net, and phone calls. It's a good reminder for me. They suggest also turning off the car radio or CD player and "tune in to conversations".
4. Go with the flow. According to this Family Circle article "true satisfaction comes from learning and stimulating the mind". It's whatever activity you get wrapped up in: scrapbooking, knitting, cooking, reading, etc.
5. Unclutter you mind. When you worry about something or spend your evenings thinking about what you'll do at work the next day, "you'll be too distracted to savor anything".
6. Embrace the unexpected. "It's great to plan perfect moments, but when things don't go as planned, focus on what is possible at that very moment, rather than fixating on what's wrong," says Ryan. For example, tomorrow night we're supposed to have a party for my mother-in-law who is turning 65 and retiring. All week I have been getting the house ready. Tonight I rolled all the l'il smokies with bacon, made my chocolate cheese ball, cubed the Velveeta and cooked the sausage and ground beef for the Rotel dip and the news is telling us we are going to have a huge, full weekend ice storm. We're supposed to get an inch or more or ice by tomorrow morning....NO!!!!! But if I follow what the article says...I can look on it as a free night to relax and spend it with my family. Maybe I could freeze the smokies...or invite the neighbors over. I don't know. I'll let you know what happens. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the rest of the evening with my husband.

Ben on Playstation

This is my first foray into video blogging. Of course, real video blogging has sound and a better quality of picture. But hey, it's my digital camera. I'm seeing all kinds of possibilities like recording Mary's fits, my house, and anything else that shows better than a still picture. This one is of Ben involved in his favorite activity. I wish you could hear his bumble jumble talk about wanting to catch "power cells" on Jak and Daxter. More videos to come!!

Dora the Explorer? or Mary the Destroyer!

Which one is she? She is both. One minute she is cute, lovable and charming...the next she is a monster on pigeon toes! Today, I am very focused on cleaning for my party on Saturday. Thankfully she is past her ultra clingy phase, so I can actually get stuff done (Thank you, Lord...I really do mean it). But for every step forward I take one step back. I'm following her path of distruction trying to keep up with her. So far today, we have spilt a box of Cheez-its on the couch, dumped out all the contents of the trunk in the family room, put the training toilet seat into the toilet, opened a bottle of water and drank it with the gusto of a man at the bar and got it all over her, and peed on my bed after refusing to allow me to put her diaper back on after a diaper change. Whew. Cleaning the house AND cleaning up after her require energy and perserverance. Thankfully she has settled down from her Tazmanian Devil pace. She is now watching Dora. Naptime is in 35 minutes.

A New Year and Some Thoughts of the Future

I thought I'd throw in a "Happy New Year!" picture, even though it's old news. For New Year's Eve, we went across the street to a neighbor's house...the neighbors that our kids totally play with ALL THE TIME. The neighbor's cousins are in the picture, which adds to the total count...8! Abby sure had enough to play with. Ben and Joe (neighbor boy) didn't make it into the picture. With all of those s, you probably couldn't figure out that Abby is the one with the purple noise maker and hot pink GAP hoodie. Sam is the only boy and he's wearing the yellow lay and Mary is front in center. I made sure to snap the picture before she headed out.

Ted is happily working in his new job. I thank God for that relaxing time that we had together for two months while he was laid off, but I thank Him even more for giving Ted a new job. The weekend before he went to work, we went to the Bread Company before a Trivia Night. I decided our topic of conversation would be about an article I read in a magazine. The magazine was called "Working Mother" but the topic could be a applied to more than just your job. The article was called "Get a Life". It's basic message was to tell working mom's they needed to take stock of their lives and make sure you are doing what makes you happy. To find out what makes you happy you are supposed to answer some questions. Since I was about to get a hair cut when I read it (how else would I have a copy of Working Mother?), I wrote down the questions to answer later. The article says that...

"...more and more moms are finding value in taking a long-range view of what
they really want for themselves. By factoring in career goals, kids, financial needs,
health and personal passions to get a 360-degree view, they're finding a way to
embrace their dreams and successfully direct their lives rather than blindly
race through them."

They call this long-range planning a "life plan". They then they give you five pointers on how to get this "life plan". For some reason, I'm having trouble accessing the site right now, and I no longer have the paper on which I wrote the questions. But anyway, the questions centered around trying to get you to get in touch with what excites you and inspires you. I love questions like this. One way they help you do this is to have you think about a time you were inspired by someone or excited by something. What was it about them, or the situation that excited you? So that I could better relay this to you...I searched the web for "life coaching". This must be some big, new thing, because I found many Life Coaches. They are to help you find happiness in your life. One site I found lets you take a quiz .

Here is the quiz:

Rate your happiness (1-10) in the categories of: Health, Money, Career, Family, Relationships, Peace-Stress-Confidence, Learning-Growth. As a part of this question, you have to decide what to areas "you are willing to approve over the next 6 months to make the biggest difference in your life".

And these questions follow:

If you could have more of ONE thing in your life right now, what would it be?

What three things are you most tolerating, or "putting up with" in your life?

Right down one thing you would like to have or achieve but are not sure if or how you can have it.

(And I like this one) Assuming all human beings have some way of holding back or sabotaging their life, which would be your favourite method? Procrastinating, Being Indecisive, Being arrogrant or right all the time, acting as a Lone Ranger, Tollerating, Not Saying NO, Not Saying YES, Controlling Life/People, Following Secondary Goals (that won't ultimately make me happy), Not Always Telling the Truth, Other.

If I were to rate the areas of my life they listed above...they would all be pretty high scores. There is no glaring problem. But when they ask about having more of one thing...I can easily answer. I would say more time for me to pursue my own desires. Since I have young children right now, I expect to have less time for myself. I would be unhappy and unwilling to heavily pursue something for myself for the sake of them.

What three things am I most tolerating? I would say having so many other people's needs come before mine, lack of freedom, and the intense needs of young children. They probably sound like the same answer. They probably are.

What is one thing I would like to have or achieve? Hmmmm. Nothing strong pops into my head. I've always wanted to be married with children. Check. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Check. I have no desire for a huge career and the high stress and long hours that come with it. And when I think of what makes me happy...part of it is making my family happy. I think I could be a stay at home mom forever...knowing that some freedom comes down the pipes when they're all in school. When that day comes...what will I do? I almost think I need to zero in on this timeframe (when they are in school), because I'm exactly where I want to be right now. The things I would want to change are not in my control with young children. It's all a part of it. So let's look ahead a couple of years. In three and a half years, Mary will be in Kindergarten. Where do I see myself then?

Let's list what I like to do...what excites me:

Learning, reading, quality conversations, helping others, relationships, kids, sharing my faith, organizing, administrative tasks, making people happy by doing something for them, enjoying nature, growing in my faith, working to be a better person, bringing out the best in others, laughing, creating memories with my family, documenting the memories to remind the kids of how loved they are and that all the little details about them matter to me, spending time with my family, teaching, meeting and conversing with a variety of people (I'd rather talk to someone who might be considered as odd as long as they are showing their true selves, then talk to someone who is normal and afraid to show me who they are).

What do I avoid?

Conflict, enforcing lots of rules, speaking up about politics and controversial church issues, chaos, saying no (I think many things are up for debate...I'm too much of a pleaser), too much responsibility, being the center of attention, burdening others with my problems, accepting help for fear of "putting someone out".

Anyway, you get the idea. What I could I see myself doing?

Volunteering at school would be a biggy. I love working with kids. It definitely excites me. I like helping at the events. PTO has been awesome so far.

Helping administratively...somehow. I love to feel like I'm making someone's job easier with my computer skills.

For some reason, walking into the school office excites me. I think of how much I'd like to help them. I don't think I'd want anything too behind the scenes. I like seeing people. One of my favorite jobs was a desk attendant for my dorm in college. Loved it.

Volunteering for the church pantry. It's more than just a pantry...it's a community outreach that helps the needy pay bills, stock up on food and clothing. They coordinate the Adopt a Family program during the Christmas season. It's a huge program. That would feel like I was doing something that really mattered.

I've heard it said once (don't remember who said it), that whatever you do, don't overbook yourself so you are never free to help someone. Keep your schedule loose so you can be available to others. I love that thought. Tonight, Ted was called by our friend who lost his wife. He wanted to go out for drinks with Ted. Ted is being available for his friend. I'm letting him be. That's important. So, to sum up, whatever I do, it would make me happiest to not be overbooked. I want to be free to pursue my own pleasures. I MISS reading books!! I want to take long walks with Ted in the neighborhood and enjoy our tall trees. I want to have time to develop my blog more. I want to crop more. I want to spend time with friends and family. I could go on...but let me share one last, pie in the sky dream. I would love to have a house in the woods with a big deck. It's a quiet place, to get away from the bills, activities, phone calls. I don't know if it's a family place. The kids would be bored there. It's a place to hang out and play board games. A place to get away from the fast stuff of life. There is a place near here called Innsbrook. Of course money is an issue. But if it weren't, I'd have a getaway home here.

Now I will stop talking so you can get on with your life. This blog took me all day (with many interuptions of course!)

A Snapshot

What's at the top of my to-do list?
Since I'm having a party for my Mother-in-Law's 65th birthday/retirement party, there's a lot on the to do list:
--Continue to clean and maintain the house
--Caulk baseboards that were never caulked after installation
--Continue to wipe down doors, baseboards and walls where needed
--Buy lil smokies, avocados and wine
--Bring up folding tables and chairs

What have I accomplished?
--Since flylady ( http://www.flylady.com ) says that Windex is a great all-purpose cleaner, I've been using it to wipe down my doors, walls and baseboards. It's been working great!
--Ted (ok...it's not me, but I feel like I've accomplished something just getting him to do it!) finally installed our new closet doors upstairs and finished installing the baseboards. YIPPEEE!! This has been a project "in the works" since this summer and it is DONE!! It feels great. We still have to put new molding on the windows, but Rome wasn't built in a day.
--Planned out menu for party: meatballs in a jelly/chili sauce (thank you, Stacey!), bacon wrapped smokies, Rotel dip with sausage, cold mexican layer dip (cream cheese mixed with mushed avocados and taco seasoning, topped with picante sauce, shredded cheddar and slice black olives...it's soo good!), and a chocolate chip cheese ball with chocolate graham dipping sticks. I'll have nuts and m&m's out for munching. I hope this is enough. There are going to be 20 adults.
--I did most of my grocery shopping already except for the items on my to do list above.
--Today is Ted's first day at his new job and I'm still holding up without him!

What's bugging me?
--There's been a conflict with a Room Parent and teacher and it's been building all last semester. Wednesday I'm meeting with both of them along with the Principal. I've heard both sides of the story and I think the teacher is treating the Room Parent unfairly. I'm just looking forward to getting the meeting over with. I don't like having relational conflicts hanging. When they involve myself, I immediately make peace or resolve to get over my frustration myself. It works.
--Ben continues to poop in his underpants and then sits downstairs on our new carpeting with the messy pants. As soon as I resolve to keep him upstairs (he always does it while playing playstation) on the day he is supposed to poop, someone tells me I'm supposed to not use any negative punishment and that he will decide when he's ready. I read that before too. When will he be ready? How do I keep my carpet from getting ruined?

What's my latest obsession?
--Duh. Getting ready for the Party!
--Wondering how Ted's new job is going
--Since Ted is now with AT&T, he will get a Cingular phone (owned by AT&T). I decided to go to Cingular so we can have free mobile to mobile minutes. After deciding this, I realized my sister, Lisa has Cingular and Becky decided to make the jump with us! Wooo Hoooo...free minutes!!! For $40 dollars a month, I get 450 anytime minutes, 5000 nights and weekends, and unlimited mobile to mobile with anyone who has Cingular! I picked a new phone that has a camera and can record video. It sparked my memory that sometime I'd like to put video on my blog. I have digital video capabilities on my digital camera too. I just need to learn how to do it. I don't even know if I can. I'd love it if I could put sound bytes on it too. I've seen people do this, but I don't know if I can do it in Blogger. I might have to just put the link on my blog instead. We'll see.

What's been making me happy?
--Having a ring on my finger (yup, it still is)
--Seeing Ted all excited about his new job
--Seeing Ted excited about caulking baseboards and finishing the upstairs
--Realizing that Mary has come a long way since Ted was laid off. During that time she has gotten used to more independent play and I'm not her seat all day! This is something to truly rejoice about. Thank you, God! Today, I took a shower in peace, all by myself. Mary did not try to find me and Ted was not here to watch her. She and Ben just continued to play. Hallelujah!!
--I got a haircut Saturday. I kept the length, but got shorter layers cut in. It's so much lighter! We started talking about hair products and by the end of the cut she decided to take me to the beauty supply store for professionals only and let me pick out what I want at wholesale prices! I got Matrix Biolage shampoo, Matrix Biolage hair gel, Graham Webb Brit Style hair spray and some pommade stuff called "difi". I'm not sure how different this is from the gel, but I decided to experiment. This is all stuff she recommended and uses. I love it! I spend so little money on my hair because I'm cheap. It was fun to indulge myself a little. It all smells so good. That's important to me :-).

So Long, Thomas

Ben is three and a half years old. When he turned three and got his new big boys bed, I bought him Thomas the Tank Engine sheets, pillow case, and framed posters on his wall of Thomas and his friends on the tracks. We put a big Thomas train on his dresser for decoration. At that time, he took out his train tracks every day and road those trains on them for a good part of the day. He would say, ”Mom, make me a cool train track”. We watched Thomas videos over and over and over. We replayed the song "Let's Have a Race" until they were tired of racing around the house. Sometimes I got sick of it. Sick of the tracks all over the floor...sick of trying to clean them up only to have them protest....sick of building the "cool train tracks" for him. But despite all of that, I love the trains. I loved watching Sam go through the Thomas phase too. It was such a pleasure to see Ben love them as much. Christmas is easy when your child loves Thomas. A new train, accessories, or tracks, bring huge delight...without fail.

Sometime after we got our basement finished and PlayStation 2 was reconnected on the downstairs TV, Ben started spending more time downstairs watching Sam play. Then he wanted to play himself. Then, even when Sam went to school, Ben would go downstairs, by himself, to play SSX Tricky, or race with a race car game. The trains weren't brought out as much. I can’t even tell you that I was totally aware this was happening. I remember my focus was more on the shock that he would go downstairs to play by himself. I did not focus on what he was leaving behind. He stopped wanting Thomas songs sung to him (I knew all the words), and started wanting me to sing race car songs. I didn't know any (except for the one Anne Margaret sings in Viva Las Vegas). I decided to make them up every night and I still do this. His language changed from talking about Thomas and his friends, their names, their colors and numbers…to talking about what courses he wanted to race on SSX tricky. I've been down there and watched him. Even though he can’t read, he knows every course in a list of about 10. He can identify them by memory. He learned to operate the PS2 all by himself. I can tell you, I’m not exactly proud of this. My child is three and a half. Sam was still way into Thomas at his age and continued on that track until he was five...at least. What happened to my baby? I guess when Sam was little, he didn't have an older brother to look up to. He didn't see PlayStation until later when his cousins got one. It felt like he grew up slower. Not Ben. He’s already fully adept at a game that most kids don’t play until they can read.

When I shopped for his Christmas presents this year, I caved in and got a video game that was more for his age, “Cars” by Disney. As a last ditch effort, I also bought a Geo Tracks train track. He doesn't seem interested in it. When he’s downstairs, he’d rather play PlayStation. Tonight when I tucked Ben into bed and looked around his room, I realized that the Thomas pictures really don’t fit him anymore. I decided I should change them with race car pictures. I asked him if he would like that. He was enthusiastic about saying, "Yes!". The Thomas decor only lasted six months. Who knows what will come after this? Maybe I’ll be wishing for race cars when he has moved on to girls. Since he’s my last boy and there is no one in arrears to pick up where he left off, I feel like I’m saying a final goodbye to Thomas. But I won’t get rid of them. After all, I’ll have grand kids someday…

Review of 2006

Before I totally dive into 2007, I'd like to review 2006. I did this last year and when I looked back at the year, I realized how far I had come. Let's look again:

January:
--Mary is sick with a double ear infection and a bronchial infection. Went on antibiotics. Needed stronger antibiotic because it didn't go away on the first round
--My friend from Australia comes in to visit. We spend some time together.
--Ben continues second semester of Parent's Day Out
--I took the kids to Chuck E Cheese's for a PTO event...by myself. First outlook of hope that I can take the kids somewhere by myself.
--Crop Day
--Women's Retreat--first one in two years without a nursing baby attending with me. Great retreat.

February
--Ted went on Men's retreat. I survived.
--Sam plays basketball...we can't keep Mary from running onto the court at every game!
--Sam and Abby help me volunteer for the Winter Carnival at school. It was a bonding event. I realized how we could do more things like this together. It was at the Winter Carnival when the PTO asked me to be Vice President next year. Why did I go?? :-)
--Mary is driving me crazy by climbing on my counter tops and pulling the keys off my laptop

March
--Read "Purpose Driven Life". This book changed my attitude of "victim mom" to an attitude of service. It shaped a lot of my decisions to volunteer at church and school (PTO, CRHP, Children's Liturgy). These, in turn, got me out of the house and made me feel I had something else to offer besides being a mom (which I still hold in the highest esteem)
--Read the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It helped Ted and I speak each other's languages.
--Attended CRHP retreat. Decided to become a part of the team to give the next retreat and offered to lead music. This was followed by shear panic "What the hell am I getting myself into??"
--Officially accepted the position of VP for PTO for the next school year.
--Took the plunge into a skin care routine (Arbonne) which I eventually all but abandoned (besides the facial cleansing). The bottles now sit rejected in my cabinet. I've since put the facial scrub in my shower so I remember to use it. I've also dusted off my sea salt scrub and used it recently. The other stuff is sitting.
--Installed new doors upstairs.
--Turned 37.

April
--Went camping the week of Spring Break at Pine Lakes campground...one of our favorites. It was a great, relaxing trip!
--Drew up a plan for the basement. Got bids. Committed to finishing over the summer.
--Made the awesome decision to enroll Mary at Parent's Day Out with Ben next year and gain one day of freedom a week!!
--Sam and Abby enjoy a huge obsession with the membership website "Club Penguin". This lasts for MONTHS!

May
--Ben turns three and gets a "big boys bed"
--Start "talk time" with Sam and Abby to reconnect with them. We feel like they are strangers since our focus is mostly coping with Ben and Mary. Talk time starts when Ben and Mary go to bed.
--Abby's softball season begins
--Life becomes stressful with Ben and Mary being so high maintenance. Mary gets into everything and Ben has huge screaming, emotional meltdowns. Can I get through??
--We decide I'm sick of not having a wedding ring for 2 years and Ted starts putting away expense checks to save for the ring.
--Boycott is started at Becky's house because of horrifying experience regarding their dog playfully loving my two mortified toddlers. We cannot enter the house again as long as they have this "attack" memory of her dog.
--Girl's weekend to eat, sleep, talk, drink and do facials. FUN!

June
--Kids finish school
--Took a family trip to Gulf Shores. The beach was beautiful, but the scenery was stripped away by the hurricane and Ben and Mary were no fun. I dream of a vacation that actually feels like a vacation!
--Struggle with lack of computer time as all the kids dominate them. Ben is a new computer fan.
--Ben starts potty training.

July
--Camping in Eminence. Met up with friends from Men's and Women's group and their kids. Ben and Mary were much better and I actually had an enjoyable time! The kids had a great time together!
--A big storm left Ted's family without electricity. We house his parents and brother's family for about 4 days. I can honestly say I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the company. Too bad our basement wasn't fully finished yet. It could have even been better.

August
--Basement is finished!

September
--Kids go back to school
--Ben and Mary start Parent's Day Out...I totally enjoy my free Tuesdays!!!
--Carpool with three families. I only drive two pick-ups a week! Ted takes one morning a week. That's it!!
--Decide to help with Children's Liturgy at church. Sam and Abby agree to help
--Recommit to potty training Ben, Ben gets the potty part right...but still not poop trained.
--Spend lots of time on PTO and preparing for CRHP retreat.
--Ted goes on golf weekend with the guys
--Abby turns 8.
--Plan Jamaica trip for June. Secure babysitting for all 5 nights!

October
--Give CRHP weekend. Feel relief that it is over.
--Sam turns 10.
--Life seems easier. House seems more settled now that Sam and Abby are back in school and the first month is under our belts. We get into a groove.

November
--The day Mary celebrates turning 2, Ted gets laid off after 8 years at Charter Communications
--Cancel Jamaica trip (it was never booked)
--Go on Crop weekend. Get a TON done!! 534 pictures were put into albums!!
--Begin watching my new niece one day a week
--Mary loosens her obsessive hold on me. Begins to entertain herself more.

December
--Ted and I go on a Marriage Encounter weekend
--I search for the best homemade pizza dough and discover the bread machine!!
--Abby tells me she doesn't believe in Santa anymore
--Ted secures a job at AT&T!!
--I get a new wedding ring!
--We hold the annual Poker Night at our house this year for Ted and his friends.

When I reflect on 2006, I realize the strides we made with Ben and Mary. They are so much easier and this makes my life easier which in turn makes me happier! I feel like 2007 year will be a good year for us. I look at how much happened in 2006 and think WOW...look at what we did! Thank you, God, for being with me through the difficult times and helping me appreciate the good. You are awesome!

All Day Crop and Goals for 2007

I went to an all day crop yesterday at my friend, Anna's house. She is single with no children so we like to gather at her house to crop. We had a pattern last year that died slowly because she became busy at work. Now we have resolved to renew our focus on getting together to crop again. We have already planned January's date as well as February's.

Last night I worked on Abby's album. She was over two year's behind. I got one year finished! There is something very surreal about working on one full hear in her album. I went from the picture of her and Sam on the porch on her first day of Kindergarten to the picture of her and Sam on the porch on her first day of First Grade. It puts it all in front of you how fast they grow and that in one sitting I could glimpse a full year of her life. I look at those pictures of Kindergarten only two years ago and I can't believe how much she has changed in those two, short years. She's a young lady (OK she's only eight, but she acts like a young lady). She's into fashion, fixing her hair and playing "school" in the basement. She feels so grown up compared to two years ago.

Many things changed in the last two years. While dealing with a toddler, we added another baby to the mix, which turned our world upside down. I wouldn't change it for anything, but it was a difficult two years. Since our focus was on the younger children, Sam and Abby were forced to grow up quickly and take more responsibilities. I can't get those two years back...but I have already made changes that will shift the focus back to Sam and Abby. I've talked about some of what we've done.

--We try to have a talk time that happens after the younger ones go to bed. With the late night activities during break we got off track, but I look forward to resuming it when the kids go back to school.

--Sam and Abby are going to take swim lessons in the spring to prepare for swim team in the summer.

--Occasionally, we'll have a game night with the older ones after the younger ones go to bed.

--Ted and I take turns helping them study for tests. I really like doing this. I feel a bond when we spend that one on one time asking questions and helping them figure out ways to remember the answers.

--Sam is going to go to Cub scout camp this summer. He didn't go last summer because our vacation overlapped it by one day. While all the other boys were awarded fun badges like archery and swimming, he didn't get one because he missed the camp. I don't want that to happen again this year. Luckily our vacation will be later in the summer in 2007.

In 2007, I hope we feel more like one full family instead of a wrestling tag team taking turns with the younger ones. I want to find more activities we can share as a family. I want to push Mary's nap more so we can share more together. Some of the activities we did as a family were the most fun and gratifying of all! Like when we ate Cici's pizza and drove through Tilles Park to look at the beautiful Christmas light display, or when we camped at Pine Lakes Campground and took golf cart rides around the lake, or when me and the kids went with my parents to the Zoo, or when we took bike/stroller rides at Laurel Park and threw rocks in the lake followed by playing on the playground. I look forward to more of this. It's a challenge to find activities that all the ages in our family can enjoy, but it is do-able. It just takes some creativity and effort. With my youngest getting older, I'm finding more energy to work on these things.

Goals for 2007...

For the Family:

--Find more activities to participate in as a family. Be more flexible with Mary's naps in order to do this.

--Get Ted well established in his new job at AT&T. I hope he feels comfortable in the new environment, is successful, and gains new friendships.

--Catch up on all of my albums this year. With the scheduled crop dates with my friends and a continuation of my evening picture cropping after the younger ones go to bed, this will help me catch up, and stay caught up.

--Find more activities for Sam that get him off the electronics...piano lessons?, swim lessons, swim team, cub scout camp.

--Get out of the house more with Ben and Mary while the kids are in school. Go to the mall, the zoo, the park, to Grandma's house. Watch less TV and get OUT!

--Continue to "check-in" time with Ted at the end of the day to stay in touch and keep the communication lines open.

On the Home front:

--Break up asphalt driveway and replace with new concrete driveway

--Buy Dining room furniture for the Dining room

What were my goals for 2006?

"New Years Resolution:

1) Invite people over more often. I love my one on one time with my sisters or my mom. I want to have them over more.

2) Spend more quality time with Abby and Sam. We've started "Special Time with Mom" and "Special Time with Dad" where once a month each one goes out with one of us for fast food or ice cream. It's our time to talk and see where they are...how they're doing. They often get lost in the Ben and Mary sea. We also started game night on Wednesday nights. After Ben and Mary go down, we play a game of their choice before bed time.

3) Read scripture calendar every morning. Digest the words, think about them.

4) Catch up on Albums"

Wow. Things haven't changed much!!