A New Year and Some Thoughts of the Future

I thought I'd throw in a "Happy New Year!" picture, even though it's old news. For New Year's Eve, we went across the street to a neighbor's house...the neighbors that our kids totally play with ALL THE TIME. The neighbor's cousins are in the picture, which adds to the total count...8! Abby sure had enough to play with. Ben and Joe (neighbor boy) didn't make it into the picture. With all of those s, you probably couldn't figure out that Abby is the one with the purple noise maker and hot pink GAP hoodie. Sam is the only boy and he's wearing the yellow lay and Mary is front in center. I made sure to snap the picture before she headed out.

Ted is happily working in his new job. I thank God for that relaxing time that we had together for two months while he was laid off, but I thank Him even more for giving Ted a new job. The weekend before he went to work, we went to the Bread Company before a Trivia Night. I decided our topic of conversation would be about an article I read in a magazine. The magazine was called "Working Mother" but the topic could be a applied to more than just your job. The article was called "Get a Life". It's basic message was to tell working mom's they needed to take stock of their lives and make sure you are doing what makes you happy. To find out what makes you happy you are supposed to answer some questions. Since I was about to get a hair cut when I read it (how else would I have a copy of Working Mother?), I wrote down the questions to answer later. The article says that...

"...more and more moms are finding value in taking a long-range view of what
they really want for themselves. By factoring in career goals, kids, financial needs,
health and personal passions to get a 360-degree view, they're finding a way to
embrace their dreams and successfully direct their lives rather than blindly
race through them."

They call this long-range planning a "life plan". They then they give you five pointers on how to get this "life plan". For some reason, I'm having trouble accessing the site right now, and I no longer have the paper on which I wrote the questions. But anyway, the questions centered around trying to get you to get in touch with what excites you and inspires you. I love questions like this. One way they help you do this is to have you think about a time you were inspired by someone or excited by something. What was it about them, or the situation that excited you? So that I could better relay this to you...I searched the web for "life coaching". This must be some big, new thing, because I found many Life Coaches. They are to help you find happiness in your life. One site I found lets you take a quiz .

Here is the quiz:

Rate your happiness (1-10) in the categories of: Health, Money, Career, Family, Relationships, Peace-Stress-Confidence, Learning-Growth. As a part of this question, you have to decide what to areas "you are willing to approve over the next 6 months to make the biggest difference in your life".

And these questions follow:

If you could have more of ONE thing in your life right now, what would it be?

What three things are you most tolerating, or "putting up with" in your life?

Right down one thing you would like to have or achieve but are not sure if or how you can have it.

(And I like this one) Assuming all human beings have some way of holding back or sabotaging their life, which would be your favourite method? Procrastinating, Being Indecisive, Being arrogrant or right all the time, acting as a Lone Ranger, Tollerating, Not Saying NO, Not Saying YES, Controlling Life/People, Following Secondary Goals (that won't ultimately make me happy), Not Always Telling the Truth, Other.

If I were to rate the areas of my life they listed above...they would all be pretty high scores. There is no glaring problem. But when they ask about having more of one thing...I can easily answer. I would say more time for me to pursue my own desires. Since I have young children right now, I expect to have less time for myself. I would be unhappy and unwilling to heavily pursue something for myself for the sake of them.

What three things am I most tolerating? I would say having so many other people's needs come before mine, lack of freedom, and the intense needs of young children. They probably sound like the same answer. They probably are.

What is one thing I would like to have or achieve? Hmmmm. Nothing strong pops into my head. I've always wanted to be married with children. Check. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Check. I have no desire for a huge career and the high stress and long hours that come with it. And when I think of what makes me happy...part of it is making my family happy. I think I could be a stay at home mom forever...knowing that some freedom comes down the pipes when they're all in school. When that day comes...what will I do? I almost think I need to zero in on this timeframe (when they are in school), because I'm exactly where I want to be right now. The things I would want to change are not in my control with young children. It's all a part of it. So let's look ahead a couple of years. In three and a half years, Mary will be in Kindergarten. Where do I see myself then?

Let's list what I like to do...what excites me:

Learning, reading, quality conversations, helping others, relationships, kids, sharing my faith, organizing, administrative tasks, making people happy by doing something for them, enjoying nature, growing in my faith, working to be a better person, bringing out the best in others, laughing, creating memories with my family, documenting the memories to remind the kids of how loved they are and that all the little details about them matter to me, spending time with my family, teaching, meeting and conversing with a variety of people (I'd rather talk to someone who might be considered as odd as long as they are showing their true selves, then talk to someone who is normal and afraid to show me who they are).

What do I avoid?

Conflict, enforcing lots of rules, speaking up about politics and controversial church issues, chaos, saying no (I think many things are up for debate...I'm too much of a pleaser), too much responsibility, being the center of attention, burdening others with my problems, accepting help for fear of "putting someone out".

Anyway, you get the idea. What I could I see myself doing?

Volunteering at school would be a biggy. I love working with kids. It definitely excites me. I like helping at the events. PTO has been awesome so far.

Helping administratively...somehow. I love to feel like I'm making someone's job easier with my computer skills.

For some reason, walking into the school office excites me. I think of how much I'd like to help them. I don't think I'd want anything too behind the scenes. I like seeing people. One of my favorite jobs was a desk attendant for my dorm in college. Loved it.

Volunteering for the church pantry. It's more than just a pantry...it's a community outreach that helps the needy pay bills, stock up on food and clothing. They coordinate the Adopt a Family program during the Christmas season. It's a huge program. That would feel like I was doing something that really mattered.

I've heard it said once (don't remember who said it), that whatever you do, don't overbook yourself so you are never free to help someone. Keep your schedule loose so you can be available to others. I love that thought. Tonight, Ted was called by our friend who lost his wife. He wanted to go out for drinks with Ted. Ted is being available for his friend. I'm letting him be. That's important. So, to sum up, whatever I do, it would make me happiest to not be overbooked. I want to be free to pursue my own pleasures. I MISS reading books!! I want to take long walks with Ted in the neighborhood and enjoy our tall trees. I want to have time to develop my blog more. I want to crop more. I want to spend time with friends and family. I could go on...but let me share one last, pie in the sky dream. I would love to have a house in the woods with a big deck. It's a quiet place, to get away from the bills, activities, phone calls. I don't know if it's a family place. The kids would be bored there. It's a place to hang out and play board games. A place to get away from the fast stuff of life. There is a place near here called Innsbrook. Of course money is an issue. But if it weren't, I'd have a getaway home here.

Now I will stop talking so you can get on with your life. This blog took me all day (with many interuptions of course!)