Just Say NO

Why can't I say NO? I often find myself in these situations where I am somewhere I don't want to be, doing something I don't feel like doing...all because I couldn't say "NO!". I remember in 7th grade, my friends talked me into going out with a guy I had NO interest in. I went out with him and broke up the next day. I can think of countless other examples: Being called into work on my day off, going shopping at flea market when I'd rather be shopping somewhere else, applying for credit cards so I can save 10% on my purchase, agreeing to serve on the PTO, and door to door people...forget it! I'm a sucker! I've been talked into magazine subscriptions, candy, braided bread, frozen pizza, and Girl Scout cookies. I've attended Arbonne parties, Pampered Chef, Discovery Toys, Party Lite, Creative Memories, U-Design Jewelry, and can't seem to walk away without placing an order. I've "helped" my friends by hosting Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, and Creative Memories. I really helped my friend when I accepted her invitation to be come a consultant. I've taken calls from my high school, the police department and fire department and agreed to "help" them with a donation or to sponsor a poor kid to attend a boxing event.

For some reason, I think saying NO would make me rude or a bad person. I think I need a class on saying NO. I want my daughter to not be afflicted with this illness that affects so many women. It could keep her out of trouble in her teens for sure. But I need to start with myself. I've learned to talk myself out of door to door sales purchase with the following excuses: "I already bought Girl Scout cookies from my daughter"..."I'm sorry, I'd rather donate directly to your company than buy this wrapping paper...where can I send the check?" (They never give me an address)...and simply..."I'm sorry, I don't really see anything I want". This is all much easier to do with a stranger.

Tonight, I realized I have not come far in this area. A fellow Children's Liturgy liturgist asked me if she could give me a makeover and send it in for a competition where I could be featured in the Mary Kay magazine and win a trip to New York! Of course, I'm not saying yes to her because I think I'll be featured in the magazine or win a trip...I'm doing it to help her out. And because I think I "owe" her because she helps me with Children's Liturgies. Later, I realized, this is just to get me buy make-up! How can I be so naive! She said I could get $25 in free product. I figure I'll go, get made up and get my free product and go. I was so confident in how quickly I could go through this process that I scheduled myself to run errands at Target afterwards.

I went to her house tonight when I really just wanted to relax at home. We go through the whole Mary Kay process (which really hasn't changed. I remembered the whole ring finger thing, as well as how to rub up and away, and the blotting and everything. It hasn't changed! I mean, who puts on make-up with their RING finger!!! I don't like being restricted like that) We take the before and after pictures and everything. And then it came time for me to pick out my free product. Well of course she showed me the cute pink case that I could insert all my little eyeshadows and blush and the lipstick just so! It was so cute. And she'd give me a discount on the pink container since they now selling the grey. I started looking at colors and factoring in my $25 off and before I know it I added eyeliner which I thought was included, but wasn't and I walk out spending $45! How did I do that? I was so close to leaving with just the hand spa kit which would have been $30 and I would have only spent $5!! No. I have to get the cute kit in a pink container to hold the eyeshadows that I NEVER wear! I am fine with blush over my eyes! I break out the eyeshadow for weddings. I am PURGING for gosh sakes! I don't need to ADD!! Anyway, I don't get out of there until 8:45pm and I'm TOO tired to go to Target.

What's done is done. I can only try to learn from my mistakes and move on. I know my best course is to avoid the situation to begin with. But I still would have helped her out. Even knowing what I know now...I still would have gone. Maybe if I could do it over, I would have said No to the eyeliner. I should focus on the success: I said a definite NO to the skin care line "I have a butt load in my bathroom that isn't being used now". She pushed HARD for the skin care. She even offered to let me pay in 6 installments..."I don't finance make-up". I also said no to hosting my own facial party. Aren't you proud? Hmmm...maybe I'm not as bad as I thought.