Ahhhh....Young Love

When I say "young" here, I don't mean age. I mean "young" as in "new" love. I'll get to that in a moment. I love the fact that I have a variety of friends--some old, some young, some single, some divorced, some married, some with children, some without. I need this variety in my life.

When I'm around the single people, I envy their freedom, times in solitude, and abilities to focus on their own desires. But then I don't envy their needs to find "handy men" when they have to get something done, going to bed alone at night, and the fact they are still waiting for Mr. Right to come along...almost like their life hasn't really begun until he does. And children! They are wondering if they'll ever get them.

When I'm around my divorced friend, (really their is just one I keep in touch with), I enjoy hearing about her dating adventures, but would never want to be a single mom raising three young children. She has to wait til it's her "free night" without the kids to do anything (unless she wants to spend the money on a babysitter). She dates a divorced man with children which makes it doubly impossible to see him. She has all the craziness of being a SAHM but no spousal help. YUCK!

My married friends with no children have it made because they don't have to time sex for late at night when you are exhausted. I remember the early married days when you could wake up, make love, take a shower and get ready for work. I have much more energy in the morning! (hope that's not too much info :-) Again, they have more freedom in the evenings, but are definitely tied down to a full time job because they have NO excuse to stay at home! They can spend oodles of time with their spouse, and have date nights on a whim. But they want children and worry about timing, money, and affording to stay at home at least part time with their kids.

And then there is the double income with kids friends. They remind me of how fortunate I am to be at home, no matter how crazy it gets. That it's a gift many working moms long for. They may have more spending money, but they work on a much tighter window of free time than I do. They have to balance so much and squeeze in what they can for themselves...guilt free. Which is basically impossible.

My married friends with kids are great for sharing the joys and struggles with. They understand! They've been there. It's like family. You don't have to talk to them, explain, justify. They know. They know you love your children more than anything. That life would be empty with out them. They know you feel complete and full, but sometimes too complete and too full with room for nothing else.

And then their are my friends with older kids. Ahhhh what wisdom can be gleaned from them! They've been there and done that...and they warn of what's to come. They don't sweat the small stuff because they learned a long time ago that it's not worth it. Their kids are all in school so some of them are working themselves, while juggling the kids in school. They are struggling to keep all the balls in the air. They drive to and fro for every little activity. They worry about the directions their kids are about to take...will they make good decisions? They think about college and how they will afford it.

I didn't mean to go on and on about variety and how much it means to me. But there it is and that may be what needed to be said. However, I do need to talk about my friend who lives alone and watches romantic movies always wishing she could be the one to be whisked away. She's always lamented, "Why can't I have a guy like that??". She's never really dated because there seems to be a big paranoia among guys of having an overweight girlfriend. I've always known my friend would be a great catch, though. She's full of spunk and life. She can always make us laugh. She's consistent and loyal. A friend for life. Well, to get to the point, she's been friends with this guy she has pined for for three years! Yes friends. She's read into every gesture, statement and look, trying to figure out if he would ever be interested in more. We've all been there...you know how it is. It's agonizing but exciting at the same time. Well, she was happy to report to me yesterday that they are officially an item. They had their first real kiss. *sigh*. And it was magical. The kind of magic that you feel when you've waited, and dreamed, and wished for something and it FINALLY happens. And it's real. And it's comfortable. After this kiss, they decided they were starting something and they would take their time. They're not defining it. They're just doing it. Well, not doing IT. But you know what I mean. She's 37 and this is her first real relationship, and it started as a friendship. He's 30 and we think it's his first relationship too. Some people just move slower, but it's those people who mean what they do. They don't rush things, they don't do them with every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Tina, Jane and Mary). When they make a commitment, it's not taken lightly. I like those kind of people.

So I'm enjoying my friends, budding relationship, and remembering the excitement I had when I met Ted. While I would never want to go back and do it all over again, their is something to be learned by a new relationship. How truly a treasure it is to have someone to share your life with, who is looking after you, wants you to be happy and shares your dreams. It's not to be taken for granted!