Make Yourself Replaceable

Tomorrow night Ted is leaving for the weekend. He's going on a golf weekend with friends he's had since college. And you know what?? I'm happy for him! I know that my attitude about this weekend is a gift from God. Before, I had the attitude of fear. How am I going to handle a full weekend without my breaks to look forward to? Will Ben drive me crazy? What can I do with the kids so they can have fun even though Ted is not here? They are off school tomorrow too! So it will be an especially long weekend. I decided I'd let Sam and Abby have friends over tomorrow since they have the day off. Saturday, their cousin is having a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. After that, Grandma and Grandpa are taking Sam and Abby for the night! This is not such a bad deal after all! I always think of Sam and Abby has my easy ones, but when they're gone and I tuck in Ben and Mary for the night at 8pm...the rest of the time is MINE!!! Sam and Abby are in bed by 9pm. That hour makes a big difference. You don't start anything at 9pm. By the time you think of what you want to do, it's time to go to bed. 8pm, however...the night is YOUNG :-).

Another reason I am happy is that we can each take breaks. He gave me my weekend retreat and now he's taking his weekend. Now that I'm done nursing, the opportunities for breaks are opening up. I'm really looking forward to a crop weekend in November. I've done NO cropping since Mary came. This is the only way it's going to happen.

In the business world, my old boss always told me to make sure you make yourself replaceable. I thought this sounded ridiculous! Why would you make yourself replaceable, then they could just fire you! But she looked at it in a different way...you could get promoted. By training other people to do parts of your job, you free yourself to learn and do other things...and you have people who can fill in for you during vacations, leaves, or a promotion!

Well, I have people who can do my job while I'm gone. Here are some ways I lean on others to do my job:

--Babysitters--One of the very most important things Ted and I did when we had kids, was to find good babysitters! They are worth their weight in gold. We always have two so that when one is busy, we can call on the other. It's great to be able to have someone who is used to my kids, knows what they need and runs the show so I can get a break.

--Neighbors--It is great to have at least one neighbor that you can call in a pinch. I have one I use for everything. She's listened, via monitor, to a sleeping child while I did a school pick-up. She'll pick up a needed grocery item if she's heading there and I can't. She's helped me come up with menus for family bday parties. She's great!

--Carpoolers--I have done some sort of carpooling since Sam was in preschool. It's awesome! I got over the fact that someone else was picking up my precious child really quick! When you don't have to wake a napping toddler to pick up at school, you really appreciate it!

--Fast Food--OK...this is a common one we all do. We know that we are very replaceable as cooks!

--Mom's Day Out Program--Yesterday when I took Ben to his MDO school, he cried when I dropped him off, but not another tear the rest of the day! It's his fourth day at school. I was so happy! I know he's getting great interaction/play time with his peers and I'm getting a needed break from my lovely two year old. It makes me a happier person to look forward to this every week.

--Cleaning Lady--I've never done this. But I think every working mother deserves one. I even know some SAHM's that have one!

--A Fellow Mom Friend--What would I do if I didn't have someone to ask for advice? Or another mom to vent to when things get rough? Or someone to report progress to? Or someone to share the victories with? (All dangling participles...someone tell me how to avoid this without sounding funny!). And when you get a break...someone to take it with! You need girlfriends. They are a must!

--Retired Grandparents--I'm so glad my parents have moved closer to me. Now I can do more school activities with their help. The other day I ate lunch at school with Sam and Abby because my parents watched Mary. The loved spending the time with her.

--A Good Husband--I know I'd never go far without a good, supportive husband. I know that if he discouraged half the things I did because it would be too much work for him...I'd never do anything. It really starts here. I have a friend who is not married and pregnant. She is thrilled because she's always wanted a baby and is almost 40, she's just never found the right man. She got pregnant from a long relationship that has since broken up. This is her chance to have what she's wanted and I'm thrilled for her. But I can't imagine doing it alone. I don't know how single mom's do it. Ted is my emotional support as well as my physical support. He's my tag teamer. I know I can hand the baton over to him and we can finish the race! This is something to be extremely grateful for (dangling participle...I DON'T CARE!).

I've made myself replaceable (to a degree) as a mom. My "promotion" right now is just getting a break, but someday it may be more. These breaks make me a better, happier mom. They make me feel more affectionate towards my children. I enjoy my time with them more when I know I can get away when I need to.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but we often try to do it by ourselves. I think we women need to help eachother out more and ACCEPT help from others more. The next time that grocery clerk asks if you need help bringing your groceries out while your kids are climbing all over the cart....TAKE IT!