Volunteer Overload

OK...so you know that Ted and I had a conversation about "balance" and "being present" and you remember that I told him that it's been a crazy two months with the PTO and once that is done, things will be SO much better! I'm always promising, when I take on something new, that it will not be a big deal and not cause me stress.

So anyway, just recently I had agreed to "help" with Vacation Bible School this summer. I was a part of the planning "team". We had the two people who ran it last year, plus two of my CRHP friends. No problem! Oprah always says when you have an abusive husband or one who is gay (or whatever) that there are clues along the way that you chose to ignore or write off. Well the other day the DRE asked me if I could call all the girls on the team and get a date for our first meeting. This was big clue #1. I thought, oh....maybe she just wants me to do some of the organizational details. No big deal. So I started calling and my first call was to one of the ladies who ran VBS last year. I got her availability and preferences and then I heard her say towards the end, "You guys will make a great team". That was BIG clue #2. I thought, "Did I hear her right? What is going on?" So I went to my CRHP friend next and in talking to her about this she said that she got the impression the ladies who did it last year will only meet with us a couple of times to get us going and then they are moving on. They are passing it all on to us! So that was more than a clue. That was a revelation. I got angry. That wasn't my perception at all! When I was given the team members, my DRE listed last years co-directors!

I started going through all my past e-mails with the DRE to see what other clues I had missed. Her first e-mail to me said:

"Missy, Would you be interested in working on a team to get VBS up and running this summer? You would have lots of help from last year's team. I think your expertise with children's programs and your sense of organization would be extremely valuable."

I missed it all together! How could I not see what I see now? The e-mail after I agreed said,

"Missy, I have dates for VBS. June 16-20 with the 15th open for set up. We have the gym, cafeteria, and junior high buildings. Melanie has not yet returned my call. I can't seem to reach Barb Schnarr. So, if you can try them, perhaps we could line up some plans. Even if it involves you and Kelley and Cathy and Maggie to start, that would work. Let's see what happens within the next week. At least we have dates." (All names have been changed)

Cathy and Maggie were the ones who did it last year. That e-mail helped me to see how I could keep the misunderstanding going. So back to being mad. At the time, I felt misled. I called the DRE and told her my misunderstanding that I would be a "helper" and not really the "coordinator" and that this is just not the time for me. I still have a semester of PTO to go before I'm finished and with everything else, this is just too much. Actually, I told her voice mail. I know that's a no-no, but I had to get it off my chest before I went to my Women's Group meeting. The next morning, while I was out, she left a message telling me it's OK and she understands. I called her back and we talked and it was good. She sounded genuinely surprised that I didn't know the girls from last year weren't coming back. And then it was done. I had said NO!

Now I'm sure I'll be helping in some way...but I am not in charge! If there is anything I know right now, after working on the 80's dance this past month...I'm DONE with being in charge! I'm counting down my fundraisers to freedom!

What's left--
80's Dance --this Saturday night.
Chuck E Cheese's--next Tuesday...no big deal
Winter Carnival--Feb 2--I'm a helper...I have a chair...so that's no big deal
McTeacher Night--April 8--No big deal.
PTO Meeting w/parents--April 17--Nominate new officers
Father/Daughter Dance--April 26--I really don't want to be in charge of another
dance. Maybe a committee member or board member will step up! It's so
late in the year and I know I'll be mentally done by then.

I think I'll ask for a volunteer from the committee members now. I don't want this hanging over my head!