The "N" Word

I've practicing that sound you make when you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth and follow it with your lips in a circle...you know...the "n" word. I'm talking about the word... NO. There...I did it. That word is really tough for a lot of us women. I'm working on it. These things take practice. It's amazing. The more you do it, the easier it gets!

If you would have talked to me early yesterday, I would have something so different to say. Why do people make it SO hard to say NO?? I got a phone call from my dear elderly friend from my CRHP group. Could you please play guitar for us this Friday at the nursing home? I really respect the elderly and find it VERY difficult to say no to them. I explained that I can't ask my mom to watch the kids every Friday. I feel comfortable with the once a month mass, but don't feel ready to commit to weekly communion services. Can you bring your kids with you? No...you see, the last time I tried practicing Christmas Carols with the Girl Scouts, Mary screamed to be held and Sam had to take her out of the room. I'll do my best to come once a month. Sigh. She said she would keep praying that I would be able to come. Can you make it any harder on me?

And then, following my mother-in-law's advice, I politely bowed out of a cookie exchange. Then I got an e-mail from one of the exchangers saying, "Can you just go to Shop-n-Save and buy some chocolate chip? No one will care." What? Are you kidding? I just don't want to make 4 dozen cookies on top of everything else I am doing! Again, why make this difficult for me?? I think my nos are too polite and they know they I get a true kick out of helping people and it's too obvious I want to please. Like with the elderly CRHP lady. I think she saw my genuine interest in helping her. I have to learn a more resolute NO.

Well, the whole cookie exchange fiasco had an interesting turn of events. After my e-mail to bow out, others came forward confessing they were too busy and now the cookie exchange has been scrapped! See? We just need to come forward and speak up and say NO. Especially to reserve some sacradness to Advent. I'm sure God just shakes his head at us as we scramble about trying to fulfill every tradition of the season. When I was discussing the whole NO thing with my mother-in-law, she reminded me of a chapter in a book we have both read, "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World". In Chapter Four, she paints a story of God asking a man to pull a wagon of 3 rocks to the top of the hill. The man agreed. It was a light load. However, one by one he was asked to help others bring their rocks to the top of the hill. He agreed to help them all until he could no longer pull the load. He got frustrated and said, "This it it! I can't do this anymore, God!" God said, "If you will be content to let others take their own burdens, I will help you with your task." The man protested and then God said, "Let others shoulder their own belongings. I know you were trying to help, but when you are weighed down with all these cares, you cannot do what I have asked of you." He removed everything except for the three rocks and happily pulled them to the top.

I know for sure that God has asked me to be a good wife and mother....first and foremost. Everything else comes second. It doesn't mean I can't take on other things, especially if they make me happy...making my burden actually lighter. I just need to avoid letting the wagon get so full that I can't pull it anymore. Sometimes I have to find out the hard way that it's too full and I just need to start throwing out the rocks. It's a balance we are all looking for. Especially during THIS season.