Last Saturday we moved the couple who lost their children in a car accident. I was prepared for it to be a difficult day. Most of their toys went to Goodwill. As I was going through their stuff, I wondered how I would feel having my friends picking up my precious children's belongings and throwing them in a pile in the yard for Goodwill. It was like going through a valuable archaeological dig site. You knew that every item was precious. It was attached to a person and a story and needed to handled reverently, with care.
It was all sadness. With this group, we can never be expected to not crack a joke about something. But the overall feeling was somber and sweaty with our heads absorbed in what it must be like to lose your only children. The mother did break down and cry a couple of times in her dad's arms with her brother nearby consoling her. But for the most part, she focused on the task at hand.
Some of us took some things that were going to the poor, which felt weird. Here my friend had already sacrificed her children, and now we are adding to our own riches by taking her childrens' toys. She didn't mind. She didn't need them anymore. This is another odd thought. I know I feel weird when I get rid of baby stuff. It's like saying goodbye to an era in life. I just can't imagine not needing any more kid stuff. I have it all around me. I receive hand me downs for future years, I save Sam and Abby's stuff for Ben and Mary. I have many ages represented in my house. To rip all that out would be like ripping off a part of my body. We all do it gradually...but rarely is it all done in one day. They say that losing a parent is losing your past and losing a child is losing your future. I'm always planning the future with my kids in mind. We're planning a full family trip to Disney World (NO CAMPER) in either the Fall of 2009 or the Summer of 2010. I talked to my sister, Lisa, today and told her we need to do big family trip sometime when the kids get older. We do this every year, but I want to get a big house on the beach and share it for a week. I think that would be awesome! I'm big on planning for the future. I don't know what my future would feel like if the kids weren't sharing these vacations with me. I'm already to aware that their time with us is relatively short. They will be out of the house, one by one, before we know it.
The sudden death of my friend's children makes me want to embrace them more, smile at them more, kiss more parts of their bodies and enjoy them more. And it also makes me want to pray for my friend every day and not feel my part is over because I helped them move. Her pain is daily...from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment