A Snapshot

What's at the top of my to-do list?
--Get ready for niece's baptism: wrap gift, buy ingredients for artichoke dip, buy ice cream, select clothes for kids to wear
--Call Abby's friend to see if she can come over Saturday
--Stuff Christmas cards with pictures and send out in the mail

What have I accomplished?
--Finished most of my shopping. I have two gifts left.
--Went on Marriage Encounter. It was a great weekend. We enjoyed the uninterrupted time together. We did a lot of listening, a lot of writing, and some discussing. One thing that we realized is that we keep pretty open communication and there were no hidden surprises. However, I think we could easily improve on keeping regular communication and putting our marriage first...really making it a priority. We decided to do no TV after the kids go down until we had connected first. Marriage Encounter teaches ways to describe your feelings. They encourage 10 minutes of writing every day followed by 10 minutes of sharing on what you wrote and discussing it. We realized that this wasn't totally our style. We just preferred to get to the discussing part...however, every now and then when there is a major feeling or hurt to discuss, we agreed that writing it first might be helpful. But for the day to day, it would feel like a waste of time. Me, being one that likes to have some structure to follow, decided to come up with a list of questions (kind of like my "snapshot"). Questions help give me direction as to what to talk about. That's why I use them on my snapshot. Here are the following questions that we "check in" with each other every night:
**What was the best part of your day?
**What was the worst part of your day?
**What's bugging you? (This captures all anxieties, worries or stresses...big or small)
**Have I done something to frustrate you? (A hard one to ask but makes you more aware of how your actions affect the other person)
**What do you want to accomplish tomorrow? (Makes you come up with a plan or goal for the next day, and lets your spouse know so they can help you make sure it's accomplished)
**What do you want to accomplish this week?
**What do you look forward to? (Gives a hint as to what makes you happy)
We even ask some of these questions with Sam and Abby before they go to bed...like the first three and maybe the last one. By asking Abby what was bugging her, I found out that she felt like one of her friends preferred another girl over her and started tearing up. Because I had taken the time to talk to her, I was able to help her. She said that since this girl is no longer in her class, she doesn't feel like they are very good friends anymore. I asked her if she wanted to have her over to play. She immediately cheered up and said, "Yes!" All is well. I feel that answering these questions daily helps any problems to be taken care of before they become bigger. When we used to watch TV after the kids went down, it just put off my thinking until we hit the bed. When I tried to discuss problems then, we were tired and crabby and sometimes it would end in frustration instead of peace. So far this is working well. I'll let you know how it goes. I hope we can stick with it. We've been doing the "talk time" with Sam and Abby for a couple of weeks now and they love it.

What's bugging me?
--Burnt cookies. I left some cookies on the bottom rack and they burnt. Now I have to cook more for my cookie exchange. :-(

What have I said I was going to do but I haven't?
--Crop in the evenings. We're talking now! Argghh! How do you fit it all in? I have an all day crop scheduled for 12/30. Hopefully that will help.

What's my latest obsession?
--Who has time for obsessions? I have to get ready for Christmas!

What's been making me happy?
--Taking the time to be "present" daily to Ted and the kids.
--Having Ted around.
--Watching Ted's progress on the job search front. He has had a total of five interviews in the last couple of weeks. Of the five, he let one company know he wasn't interested in further interviews (telecommunications company that has been bankrupt twice), the other four happened in the last 7 days and he is waiting for them to interview other people. Some of them he found out before they were even posted! All the interviews went really well. Hopefully, at least one of them will "stick". I'll keep you updated.

Tidbits
--Abby doesn't believe in Santa anymore. Sadly, most of it is my fault. Last year she found a present that said, "To Ted, From Missy", but the "Missy" was crossed off and "Santa" was written beside it. Oops.
--Ted just talked to a fellow laid off co-worker who is on vacation in Colorado skiing with his family! Ted was so jealous. "Isn't he worried about getting a job??", I asked. But, he was a Director and got a better severance package than we did, plus, his salary was a lot higher than ours and didn't depend as much on commission. Ted's pay right now is about half of what he is used to because it is only his base and includes no commission. We never lived up to his pay because we never counted on all the commission...we never knew what was coming from one paycheck to the next. So we are doing fine. Ted is saving a lot on gas and from eating in instead of out. We as a family are eating in more and watching our entertainment expenses (where we can tend to spend a lot). HOWEVER, it IS tempting to do something as a family when we find out he has the security of a job. One of the jobs would not start until January 15. Where do you go when you are experiencing frigid weather?? I wish this was happening at a different time. There IS Christmas break coming up.....hmmmm.