Did I Ever Say I Was Consistent?

I am probably driving all of you "consistent" people crazy. What happened to "Snapshot Thursdays"? I don't know! I try to schedule myself and it never works. I like direction...and Snapshot Thursdays gave me a way to summarize my week when I didn't know what to say. But that was assuming I had a chance to write at all. These days, I just need to do a "snapshot" when I got a chance. Blogging really is my friend. It's just hard to come by this summer. I have to adjust to each new wave of changes and I'm finally figuring this one out. Finally. You might also be wondering..."When is she going to continue her diary writings?"...and..."Why doesn't she blog more often?". I'm tellin' ya. Hang in there. Life is crazy. This is when I have the most to say and the least amount of time to say it. I often think when things slow down I'll have more time to blog. I dream about the day when the kids are all in school and I'm home cleaning house, making lunch dates and getting things done. But what will I talk about then?? Who wants to hear about Miss Organization with more time on her hands than she knows what to do with it? No one. And how much will I really sit at home anyway? Will I be out and about all the time? I think it will be a mixture. I like home. I like making my home a comfortable, clean place to be. It's never clean, but I really appreciate it when I can clean. And really, things are not that crazy. I don't have my kids in five million activities. We're just all hanging out...doing our own thing...enjoying the "free form" of summer. No packing lunches, no following up on homework, no carpooling, no making sure a uniform is clean for the next day. Yes....live it up now because in 6 weeks we're doing that stuff all over again.

The banging is still going on downstairs. They have most of the drywall up. It is actually looking like a room. I really can't wait. They've turned the lights on so we can actually breathe a sigh of relief that they really put enough in. Ted and I spent our weekend spraying doors and rolling baseboards in addition to watching my sister's four kids while they helped on a youth conference. The kids were great and we had a lot of fun. Yes... I know. Can you believe it? It feels so good to say that. It feels good to say that we got all that painting done, too. We're realizing that summer is the best time to get some of these unfinished projects done, so we are getting back to our upstairs and finishing that job of replacing old baseboards and closet doors. We did the doors last winter and just kinda dropped the rest. Last night we realized we need to schedule this stuff so we just wrote everything in on the upcoming weekends. That felt good. It's scheduled. It'll get done.

We also scheduled my crop nights which also fell off the face of the earth. I get one night every other week, just to work on cropping! I was supposed to do this before and summer just threw us for a loop. Hopefully, this consistent cropping will help get me caught up.

I'm so disorganized in my thought process on this blog. The other thing I wanted to mention is what started this desire to schedule some stuff. I looked at the calendar and realized Ted is in a friend's annual Golf Tournament this week and he is taking a day and a half off work and is playing Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Can you imagine doing your absolute favorite activity for three days, you still get paid and you don't have to get a babysitter???? I was jealous. Poor Ted...he can't have any fun without getting a litany for him. But it doesn't make me angry at him or think he shouldn't do it. But for some reason, I don't feel I can do these things as easily. I have to jump through hoops. And then there is the mommy guilt. He said, "But you CAN do stuff like this. You can schedule a crop weekend." But that requires finding other busy moms who are actually free for a weekend to get away and crop. Men are just freer. They can take vacation days! Waa Waaa waaaa. I'm really not trying to complain. I'm in such a better place...but this kinda stuff just stairs me right in the face and says, "Naa na nahh na naa nah". So anyway, after I vented some of this yucky stuff, and added that I would LOVE it if he took vacation to do finish our upstairs....that's when we whipped out the calendar and scheduled away. See...if you just heard about our scheduling, you would think, "What a perfect couple. They have all of this stuff they are getting done and she is scheduling crops for herself!". Now you know the whole story.

Ted really is a supportive guy and a good husband. He handles what's before him and takes one thing at a time. He doesn't get overwhelmed, or underwhelmed. He's consistent, he's fair. He doesn't anticipate, nor does he dread. He lives in the present. I said to him last night, "Aren't you excited that you get to play three whole days of golf? Aren't you just so appreciative that you can just schedule this and just do it?" He said, "I actually haven't thought about it much. It's not here yet." I'm the kinda person that thinks way beyond the black and white. I look behind everything I see to find what's really dwelling there. I want to know why and how. I probably think too much. I anticipate, I dread, I get excited, I feel exhilarated, I feel depressed, I feel overwhelmed, I feel bored, I feel, I feel. I am WOMAN!!!

Tune in next time, for another jumbled mess of thoughts, with way too many emotions and inconsistent, nonsensical ramblings.