Swingsets, Camping and "Footprints"

Why do I hate coming up with titles? Do I think I need to be cute? Is it hard to just say "This is just an update"? Am I just in too much of a hurry and I don't know if I'll be able to squeeze this in? Doesn't adding a title seems a little unecessary? Oh well. I'm wasting time, aren't I.

Ok...First Swingsets. If I want something done, I pretty much take my idea and run with it. Since Ted is at work all day, it's easier for me to figure out the details, what swingset will we buy?...who will build it?... do we need to dig holes and stabilize the posts in concrete?...what kind of wood do we buy?...how will we get the wood home? If it was up to Ted, he could build it and we'd have it next Spring (not that it would take him that long to build it, he just wouldn't feel the need to start it until then). I guess I'm not patient enough. So I take on the task myself. After many phone calls and internet searching I answer all the questions. We are buying a kit from Home Depot and we'll need to purchase lumber seperately. My brother will build and stain it for us this weekend. We don't need to dig posts because we secure them with fitted, 30" stakes. We need arsenic-free, pretreated lumber and Home Depot's lumber is all arsenic-free. We can buy the wood tonight and my neighbor will let us use his truck. *Whew*

I do alot of the research stuff in our family because frankly, Ted just doesn't have the time. By taking care of all these details, things go more smoothly in the evening. Plus, I just like learning. I'm an information gatherer. Kind of like the weeds in our yard. I'm driven to take of our yard myself someday. It would be very therapeutic! I'll do it all, the treating, fertilizing, seeding. What a reward it will be to see the nice green grass! I already enjoy mowing the lawn...and I'm not sure why. I guess because you get instant results. It's black and white. It's a little bit of an escape and I get to be alone with my thoughts. Some people think of these things as "man work". I just have more disposable time than Ted and I'm the one who's motivated. I see this stuff all day so it bugs me. Ted just wants to chill when he gets home. So we're both happy. This past weekend, Ted watched the kids while I mowed the lawn. It was great. (See why I don't like titles? They're too limiting and I don't stay on the topic).

Now Camping--All of this is a bit crazy right now because we are in the midst of getting ready to go camping this weekend. Ted picked up the trailer last night (while I was out) and hit a curb while being distracted by the kids. He had to head to our dealership to drop off the trailer to make sure there was no serious damage that can't wait til after our weekend to be fixed. He says the wheel looks bent. Thank God no one was hurt. So freeky and scary. Anyway, I've not lifted a finger yet to get ready for the trip because the little ones have been reaaalllly crabby/clingy and my mind has been on the details of the swingset. Oh well...I crammed for tests in college, I can cram for a weekend trip. The kids are almost angelic today so I will try to get as much done as I can. We are leaving Friday and will come back Monday.

Journaling--I got my new journaling software! It is SO easy. It took me minutes to set up and I've already made two entries. One, about Abby losing two teeth yesterday. Yes, you heard me right...TWO...in one day! They are the teeth beside her two front teeth. So I wrote a note from the Tooth Fairy saying how special she is to loose 2 teeth in one day because it is very rare except when someone falls. She loved the note and took it to school today...along with her earnings. AND Mary took 3 steps yesterday. So that was recorded to...quickly and easily...and in her own separate journal.

Complaint--Why doesn't this blog have spell check??? If it does...someone please tell me how to use it.

OK...gotta change a stinky poop.

Journaling

I have kept a diary off and on since I was 9 years old. I have always loved to express myself and document what was going on in my life. I remember when I got my Holly Hobby journal the Christmas of '78. I recorded when my brother went poop in the potty chair for the first time (including the size of the poop) and when a drunk driver knocked down the tree in our yard (such scandal!). I wrote down what I got for Christmas and Birthdays and I told about the time I saved $7 pulling weeds in the elderly ladies yard across the street. I used that $7 when we went to Silver Dollar City and bought a shirt (I was so proud). I wrote about failing my drivers test (driven part) and about being hired at McDonald's the same day. I wrote about seeing my future husband for the first time (in orientation at McDonald's) and telling the store gossip queen that I thought he was cute and the rest was history. After that diary was finished I took a break. Maybe I thought I was too old to have a diary. So when Ted and I broke up, I felt the need to write again. All my fears were poured out on those pages that I still have today. As an adult I started journaling again when I got pregnant with my first child 10 years ago and how I felt when I lost that baby because it was ectopic. I've kept a steady journal ever since.

This need to document has naturally carried over to the kids. I love recording their cute personality traits, funny things they've said, or what they're into right now...along with their daily activities and accomplishments. My own personal journal has suffered for lack of time, but I know how important it is to keep track of theirs. Along with this, pictures are important to me as well as video. The video camera isn't out as much as my camera is but I think even a little video captures a lot. I also like to keep any of their personal creations. Not just something someone else created and they glued together. I mean stuff they drew or made up themselves. Stuff that tells me about who they are. All of these things go in their "Special Box".

So along this same vein of capturing memories...I have to tell you about a software package that incorporates a lot these things. It's called "Footprints". Here is the link http://www.footprintsco.com/ . This father of three had done many years of his own documenting before developing this program. You can have up to 10 journals complete with archiving, key word searches, and topic organizing. You can also scan in artwork, input pictures, sound and movies! I just think it's the coolest thing and I have just placed my order today. I will let you know how I like it. From the website you can see all of it's capabilities. The possibilities are endless.

I think I'll journal more since I can type faster than I can write. And of course, the computer is convenient because I'm on it off and on all day.

My Milkshakes Bring All The Boys To The Yard

(But not Mary). I keep singing this song in my head. It's quite trashy, but a catchy tune. I don't even know I how I know it. I think it's from my days of channel flipping to VH1. If you can't figure out what "milkshakes" are...they are her ..ahem..breasts. I just think it's a funny name for them. And with icepacks stuffed in my sports bra, makes it quite an apt description. Mary, see what you're missing out on?? Nice, frosty milkshakes! How dare you refuse me and bite the breast that feeds you. (By the way, Sam, my 8 year old just read this title as "My Mistakes Bring All The Boys To The Yard"??. "What does that mean?" *chuckle*)

Annnyhoo, I looked up "nursing strike" on the Internet and they listed many reasons for a baby biting while nursing: Teething, ear infection, lack of milk, period starting, new deoderant, too much distraction, etc. Yes, Mary is teething...but she always is. She got her first tooth at 5 months. She's got 6 teeth with 2 on the way. So I don't believe it's that. And yes, she just got over a cold, but she wouldn't be sleeping well if she had an ear infection. So here's my theory: Mary has been easily distracted in the last couple of months (as is typical at this age). It's never been easy feeding her because of all the commotion in our house, but lately her feedings have been significantly shorter because of distraction (she has the same disease I have!!). Because of this, my milk supply has dropped, and since my milk supply has dropped she is losing her patience in waiting for a let down so she bites.

I would have liked to wait for a year, but this is close enough and I really don't have hard feelings about it. However, the night that I realized she had not had a real feeding in 24 hours, was the night I cried. I read on the internet that when a baby weens or starts to ween and woman can feel depressed because she isn't getting the hormone that calms her during nursing. Imagine that!! It said my body will adjust to not getting that hormone and I should be fine. I find it amazing. And I'm a little frustrated with my nurse for not telling me that. I feel like I get more info from the internet for free than from the nursing staff I pay! Ok... a little emotional leakage there. Not all nurses are bad (Theresa, you're going to be great!). But I feel better understanding what happened to me that night.

Down Came the Rain

It rained a lot today. And it rained a lot last night...in my heart. I was tired, sad and teary last night. I haven' t cried since my Zoloft kicked in almost 4 months ago. I was mad that I was so tired and mad that I was so sad. I just wanted to go to bed and it was only 8:00! Why have I been so tired lately? I'm getting decent sleep at night...what is going on? So the worries set in. Am I getting depressed again? These were the things on my mind:

--Ben gave me a rough couple of days of crying, fits and whines. They were long days because Ted had meetings and got home late two nights in a row.
--Mary has wanted a lot of holding lately. She's been biting me and not having good nursings.
--I haven't started my period yet. This is late for me...could I be pregnant??
--I need to get out.
--I need to catch up on my albums.
--I need a break from Ben.

Ted heard me out and suggested I call my Doctor today. Then I called my sister, Lisa. I love her. And of course I love Ted. They know me so well and can take each problem and help come up with a game plan. Here's my game plan:

--Call the doctor--find out if there are any hormones that could be affecting me right now...making me tired or sad.
--Take a pregnancy test
--Find a mom's day out program for Ben or some kind of home babysitting once a week to get a break.
--Take Ben and Mary to the mall to play in the little kids play area, stroll around and maybe eat there, once or twice a week...just to get out of the house and do something they would enjoy. I think part of Ben's bad behavior is because he is bored. He needs stimulation besides TV and toys.
--As the weather cools, take more walks in the park and neighborhood.
--Build a swingset in out backyard. We've been here for 1 1/2 years and Ben and Mary could definitely benefit from one this fall.

Some of these things sound simple but were too hard to do last year because of Abby going to school half day, Mary's morning nap and Ben and Marys' afternoon nap and then pick up for school. This year I can try to do these things because I have more open time while the kids are at school all day. I have all morning until 1pm when they would go down for their afternoon naps.

I've already started on a couple of items on the game plan.
--The nurse said there are no hormones that could be affecting how tired I am or the bout with tears last night. But she did say I could need a boost in the Zoloft. People need it adjusted all the time. I don't want to rush to do this, but I will if this continues. I want to see if some of these changes will keep Ben happier which would make me happier.

--I'm not pregnant! Whew! I don't think I'd be very sane with three kids three and under.

--Today we met Ted at the mall and ate lunch with him. Ben always enjoys "frizh fry" and they loved strolling through looking at all the big signs and stores.

--Found a couple of possible Mom's Day Out programs. Need to call them. Anyone try this before? Like it?

--Went to Home Depot tonight with my sister and found a kit where you buy and cut your own lumber and the kit comes with a slide, hardware and accessories. Much more reasonably priced than other places.

--I decided this one a couple of weeks ago...Every 6 weeks I'd like to take a Saturday and crop all day at my parent's house. And occasionally, on a Friday night, go to the nearby church to crop. I have to get out of my house to crop. Right now, it's impossible to get anything done at home. In the past I have set aside nights and they would get filled up with something else. It just doesn't work.

--And finally, I've decided to wean Mary. With all the biting, I keep having to take her off and she's just not feeding well. My milk supply is dwindling and at this stage, I don't feel like doing the work to bring it back because that just means I'd have to endure more biting. It's sad because she's my last. And not only that, I have to say goodbye to ever having any sizable breasts ever again. I hate weaning. Time to stuff ice packs in my bra. I'm sure Ted's looking forward to it though. It ends the era of my body belonging to Mary and returning to him.

I feel better already. I know this should be an easier year for me than last year. I don't expect a repeat. I'm excited to see Ben and Mary do some major growing and maturing. Mary should be walking in probably about a month. Ben should be able to reason more. It's never boring.

I guess the rain in my heart wasn't a bad thing. We made some good decisions because of it. And you always appreciate the warmth of the sun more after the rain.

First Full Day at School

Whew...it sure is quiet around here without Abby and Sam. I didn't really think they made that much noise or needed my attention that much, but the day seems much more productive now that they're at school. I don't think I realized how hard it was to focus on one thing this summer when they were all home. Maybe this school thing isn't so bad after all.

Another thing, where is my Ben? Someone took the crabby child and replaced him with a sweet, charming little boy. Could it be he is maturing? Or maybe it's just that his cold is better. Or better yet, no one to compete with for attention except Mary now that the kids are in school? Whatever it is, I'm happy to have this new and improved Ben. Even if it's just a glimpse of what's to come. I'll take it. Thank you, Lord (gotta give credit where credit is due).

Crabgrass, Nutgrass and My Own Weeds

Ted and I have been getting a little overwhelmed by the influx of weeds in our yard. We are surrounded by people with plush, green grass. It seems effortless to them. As much as we work on our yard, we can't seem to control the weeds. So we've given up and called the specialists. The first company came by to give their bid. This guy had long, fly away hair with many split ends. It's not like I examined is hair that closely, it just had that split end look...like he's trying to grow his hair longer than it wants to be. Nonetheless, he looked me in the eye when he spoke and he communicated with sincerity. And the thing that rang my bell was his 20 years experience. I love a person who knows what their talking about.

In 5 minutes I got a crash course on weeds. One thing that bugged me about the weeds in our yard was not knowing their names. Once you identify what you have, it's easier to figure out how to combat it. I listened intently while he willingly shared his knowledge. We have lots of crabgrass and nutgrass. Don't expect overnight results, he said. These weeds are hard to get rid of. I didn't totally understand what he was getting at, but before I know it, he's telling me how I should hire some teenager to pull the crabgrass up by the root. What? Are you the weed guy? He said to never pull out the nutgrass because it's really hard to get at the "nut" and you will get about ten in it's place. He said I could use Roundup and slick it over the blades. Things started getting fuzzy here...blah blah blah...can't lay seed until the Fall...blah blah blah. I wasn't sure if he was recommending his company or if I should just hire a teenager. I was a little confused. So I inputed some of my own little knowledge of the lawn.
"Isn't overseeding the best offense to combat the weeds?"
"Yes!", he says. Bingo!
"And until our lawn is established, these weeds can easily come back?"
"Yes!", he says. Yahtzee!

When he was gone, I decided to consult the internet, my trusty source of information. Apparently, with nutgrass, you can kill what is showing above the ground, but there are dormant "tubers" that are not connected to the above-ground leaves and can surface later.

I don't understand. We did all that "preemergent" stuff. Why is this happening? Because we don't have a thick, established lawn. It will take time to do that. And if the weed guy comes and kills the weeds, we'll just have a bunch of brown spots in our yard. I guess the nice man was trying to save us money and dissappointment when killing the weeds didn't give us a beautiful lawn. After 20 years, I'm sure he's dealt with a lot of dissappointed customers who want instant results. He was just trying to paint a realistic picture for me.

Ok...the weed analogy was staring at me right in the face. Aren't we a world of people wanting immediate results? I have a few "weeds" of my own that I'm trying to figure out. One of my weeds is "distraction". These things take time. I can't be "cured" overnight. I can read an inspiring article about being focused and present and think I've learned my lesson when the weed just sprouts up later again. So maybe my focus should instead be on developing a plush, green lawn. Because that is the best way to keep the weeds from coming back. How often have I heard that! To fill ourselves with good stuff so we can produce good stuff. What's good stuff? I guess it's different for everyone. But for me it's quality time with my family, showing and telling them I love them, it's reading inspirational literature, it's chatting with people who keep me on track, it's reading scripture and praying for guidance.

We had to know the name of the weeds in our yard before knowing the correct way to fight that weed. Then, once you get rid of the weed, the open space it came from is just an invitation for it to come back. You have to put the grass seed there so the weed won't return to the same spot. My dad always taught me to pray this way. When asking God to remove the bad things, you first have to name it (fear, anxiety, whatever) then you should immediately ask for the good things to replace it (His love, peace, etc.).

I think I will always be fighting weeds. That is way life is. We are not perfect. I think the only time I will have that perfect, plush, green lawn is when I get to heaven. There are no weeds there. Yahtzee!! In the meantime, I'm going to keep working in my yard.

Last Day of Summer

Did we just finish the last day of summer? This evening we bought school shoes, ate Taco Bell and went to the park for a walk. After our walk we played on the playground. We could hear and orchestra playing in the pavilion so we walked up to listen after the playground. It was really a neat way to end our summer. But for some reason, it didn't really sink in that this was it. Our last day of summer. Where did it go? It seems like we just celebrated our last day of school with a custard from Silky's.

I really enjoy summers with the kids. Especially now that they're in school. It's time for us to hang out and be lazy. We definitely did that this summer. We swam a lot, camped, watched TV, played computer games, played cards, Caboo, had friends over and redid our landscaping. Overall, I'm satisfied. I had low expectations for the summer because of the two little ones. I thought they would hold us back. They did, but I'm used to it. We worked around their nap times for outings and when we wanted to swim, we waited til Dad got home and swam in the evenings. The older kids helped entertain the younger kids.

I will miss having Sam and Abby around. I can communicate with them. They verbalize their needs and do a lot for themselves. It makes me realize how much changes from the Ben/Mary years to the Sam/Abby years. It's just plain easier. All around. But the younger years are so cute. They are doing so many new things and experiencing many things for the first time. It's a gift to Sam and Abby to watch this and they join in with the cheering, "Mom! Mary just walked a step!" I know it's good for their self esteem to take care of Ben and Mary. Sam is always teaching Ben new words and plays trains with him to cheer him up. Abby likes to hold Mary and talk to her in a sing song voice. They both understand the golden rule of the house: If Ben is happy, don't mess with him. If he's crying, do everything you can to fill whatever need he has. I know I make Ben out to be a monster. But, he can really disturb the peace when he's unhappy. So it's just so rewarding to see Sam and Abby not only put up with Ben's antics, but also take total delight in him too. Brothers and sisters are the best gifts I can give my kids. They outlast any toy in the house. Their relationships will last longer than my life here on earth. And to see everyone interacting together all summer is a true gift. Even if we have to all hear a lot of crying sometimes. I like to think it's making the kids more tolerant.

This is Abby's first year in school all day. She is in First Grade now. I'll miss her, but deep down I know she will be much more stimulated at school and will enjoy seeing her friends again. Often last year she would just come home from school and watch a lot of TV. I didn't like this, but I was so busy with Ben and Mary that I let it go. She's ready for the full day. In fact, she's deeply excited. And so is Sam. He was bouncing off the walls tonight! It's a good thing the kids are ready to go back. I guess I'm ready too. It's not like they're going away to boarding school. They'll have days off, early dismissals, breaks, etc. And summer will be here before I know it. But each summer means they've grown another year. There is no rewinding or pausing like our DVR. However, I do have the ability to be present in the moment and let all of my senses take in as much of it as possible. It's hard sometimes, but I want to always keep trying.

It makes me think of a conversation I had about a year ago with a friend who has 8 kids and was seeing the last one off to school. I asked him how it felt to have them leave the house. He said it felt like it was the right thing for them to do. It seemed like such a simple answer but when you think about it...very true. Do you really want them to stay in kindergarten forever? No. It's right for them to wean off nursing, to eat table foods, to walk on their own, talk, go to school, ride their bike, drive, get a job and move out. Our goal as parents is to see them to independence. It's hard to let go. But it's the right thing to do.

Calgon, Take Me Away!!

I don't know if anyone remembers this commercial. I know it was on TV way before I had kids. In fact, I'm sure I was a kid myself. But basically, it shows a mom dealing with the baby crying, phone ringing, doorbell sounding, etc...all at the same time. She's looking a little frazzled when finally, in a moment of sheer desperation cries, "Calgon, take me away!!". The commercial then cuts to this mom relaxing in a big tub of suds from the Calgon bath soap. She has escaped from the hecticness of life and is having her own little retreat.

Sometimes I wish I could cry that battle cry and be whisked off to a sudsy bathtub, alone. When I'm in the bathroom there is at least one other person there. Today, my morning potty visit was shared with three other people: Ted (getting ready at the sink), Mary (I brought her in because she was kinda crabby), and Ben (I don't remember why he was there). Actually, I wouldn't need to be whisked off to the bathtub. I'll take anywhere. This morning was case in point. Ben can be exceptionally crabby in the mornings. And clingy. This morning, he was both. My nephews where here from spending the night and they were watching "Sponge Bob, The Movie". Ted, my wonderful husband, let me sleep in. I awoke to Ben's cries of, "Dora, Dora, Dora!" He has to watch it on that TV because that's where they are all recorded on Moxi (Charter's Tivo). We pretty much heard this throughout the movie. Over and over and over again. Not a pleasurable experience.

When Ben cries and I hold him, Mary wants to be held to. Mary is pretty easy. But she can compete with Ben sometimes. Ben is very demanding. And it wears on me. I can get to the point of wanting to escape. Anywhere, it really doesn't matter. I have a friend who dealt with postpartum depression and she said after having her 4th she wanted to escape to a private island. I knew exactly what she was talking about. When Mary was born, all my kids were sick and couldn't come see her. I came home to a household of infections and no one could touch her. Yah, right. She got sick. It was a very tiring, burdening time in my life. For some reason, I guess I had a delayed reaction. I didn't start getting depressed until she was 6 months old. I mean like wanting to stay in bed all day, crying on the phone with my sister and Ted (while he was at work...poor guy). Ben and Mary were 18 months apart and I basically saw nothing but carpool and the four walls of my house. Even the breaks that I got weren't enough. They would just depress me more because they didn't live up to my expectations and I knew I would have to go back. The burden of it all got to me. Through the urging of Lisa and Ted, I called my Doctor. He put me on Zoloft...50 mg a day. Thank you, Lord for medication! I was much better. I could appreciate my kids and enjoy them more.

I'm glad the medication doesn't make me totally immune to the rough times, because that's life! Even though I'm medicated, I still want to escape sometimes. I just bounce back fairly quickly and I have more energy. I hope to start weaning myself off of it around Mary's first bday. Ben will be 2 1/2 then and hopefully a little more reasonable. Mary will be weaned by then too. Every day won't be a happy day, but it isn't now. If I find myself slipping back into depression, then I will go back on.

Ted has been gone all morning with soccer practise and a church function. Right now, he's helping my parents at their new house... but tonight--is ours. Tonight, Calgon is taking me away. Ted and I are going on a date night. :-)

A Good Day is a Gift From God

Today was a great day. When I say this, it doesn't mean everything went perfectly. Because it didn't. But my attitude was good. Some days I feel like I'm wearing armor. All the arrows bounce right off. It's as close to Super Woman as I can feel. Ben still had his cold and was very crabby this morning...but it was OK.... I even noticed Mary doing the same breathing thing. But she's not coughing much...so it's OK. They are both sleeping and eating well so I can't ask for much more. And Mary is not running a fever like Ben did. It's like the virus lost it's sizzle by the time it got to her. Thank goodness. Three out of the four kids have gotten this bug so far. All of them in sightly different forms.

Despite all this, God gave me the focus I needed to clean the kitchen and catch up on laundry (even if it is in a huge pile on my bedroom floor). And my house is fairly straightened. Always a good feeling when the housework is somewhat caught up. Ok...I say "somewhat" because it's all relative to what each person considers caught up. We live in a 1 1/2 story so our master bedroom is on the main floor. I only go upstairs to lay the kids down for bed or get them out of bed. I kinda forget about that bathroom. Well there is a big, black ring in the toilet where the water level is. YUCK!!!! I don't even want to know what would make it black. I've seen orange from hard water...but black??? And let's just say the aim wasn't too good in there either. Blech. Sorry to gross you out like this. I better visit that bathroom more often. Ahem. Anyway...where was I? Oh yah...it was a great day.

Another thing that made it great...when I'm feeling good I want to share the wealth, ya know? So I was at my mom's when my sister was there with her three boys (11, 9, 7) and she told me she was going to the local craft festival tonight. She was going to go with her husband and all four of her kids even though she knew she would hear grumbling the whole time (this is how much she wanted to go). So I offered to take her three boys for the night. To a mom, this is the jackpot of all jackpots. Someone offering to take your kids over night. Abby invited a friend over too and we ate the $5/$5/$5 pizza deal (gotta love that!) and then Ted took the kids to swim in the neighborhood pool to 9:00pm. The kids had a blast with their cousins and friends. It's really a win-win for all of us.

It all started with the good day He gave me and it branched off from there. I know it's Him because spontaneous things from out of nowhere are often from Him. These are the ways He treats us. Like a cold drink on a hot day, He gives us a break and refreshes us. And I always want to be sure to recognize it when He gives me a good day and thank Him for it. I've always told my kids...Remember to thank the person who gives you something because then they are more likely to do it again! (It's kind of a selfish way to remember to say thanks but it's better than not saying it at all). So today, I'll enjoy my feeling of contentment. It doesn't come often or easy, but it's here today and I will enjoy it while it's here. And I will thank the One who gave it to me so He'll do it again!

Wheezing Cough Fever, Part 2

Ben did much better than normal at the Dr's. He cried while he was weighed and touched but not in between! Amazing! The Dr. said that I need to watch for the cold to continue but it could easily be a virus and we all know what that means...everyone in unison now, "It needs to run it's course!". BUT, if it becomes a seal-like cough than I need to bring him in again. OR, if he continues to run a fever til Monday I would need to bring him in. I've learned all this stuff...why did I jump to do the visit? I guess it was the wheezing. But the Dr. said the wheezing was in his throat not his lungs. And really, the only way to tell that is by listening with a stethoscope. *Note to self--add to the purchase checklist after the "look in the ear tool", get a stethoscope and learn how to detect wheezing*. If your like me, you want to learn as much of this stuff as possible to avoid needless visits to the Dr. Most upper respiratory infections are viral. Oh well. I guess it never hurts to be safe. It only cost me $5 in babysitting and a McDonald's lunch for her as well. Time to listen for a seal like cough. My medical education continues...

Wheezing Cough Fever

"Wheezing Cough Fever". No, it's not a new song by the Bee Gees...It's my latest search on the Internet. Have I told you the Internet is my BFF?? (Best Friend Forever). Well, it is. I got my own little medical encyclopedia right in my house. It's a stay at home mom's necessity! I just plug the symptoms in and get the lowdown. Then, when I call the nurse, I sound like a regular doctor! (Talking to the nurse), "Yes, I think my child might have Bronchitis, because he is wheezing and breathing fast. He has a cough that's bringing up thick, yellow mucus and a fever of 102. I don't think it's pneumonia because he's not vomiting, he's eating fairly well and doesn't seem too tired. Do you think we should put him on the chewable antibiotics? He hated the Zithromax and Cephrozil, but the Augmentin wasn't too bad."

Sometimes, after a long dissertation, I'll get the jackpot of an over-the-phone prescription: the mountaintop victory of the SAHM--not having to lug all the other children with you to the Doctor's office for one child. I'll do anything to avoid that because it can be excrutiatingly painful. Ben hates the doctors office. He will scream at the doctor like the doctor is an alien doing experiments on him. Really. My doctor is the most gentle man with six kids of his own...but Ben screams nonetheless. I remember when I was pregnant with Mary and my mom forgot she was supposed to watch the kids so I had to take them with me. Ben screamed during my whole appointment. I had to hold him while the nurse took my blood pressure and the reading skyrocketed. The nurse told me it was higher than normal (now I know I have a biophysical reaction to my son crying). Next came the belly measuring (which always seemed so remedial to me). How could I do this while holding my screaming child? Luckily, he settled down when Sam took him for a walk in the stroller. Thank God that worked. But anyway, I avoid it when I can.

So this morning, Ben is wheezing, coughing and feverish. I know I won't be able to get away with not bringing him in (the over-the-phone dissertations mainly work on little stuff like pink eye and swimmers ear...they always want to check them out for the big stuff like bronchial infections). So the pondering of what to do begins. Sometimes I'm jealous of Ted. If he has to go to the doctor, he just leaves work. He doesn't have to find a babysitter or figure out how to fit his shower in before he goes. Since for me, it's a big deal, I tend to not rush to the doctor's at the drop of the hat. Also, when Sam and Abby were younger I would take them in, thinking they had ear infections and many times I was sent home and told it would run it's course. I dreamed of having the "magic wand". That instrument they put in their ear to see if there was an infection. Of course, one time the doctor let me look through that thing and all I saw was ear wax. "See all that white pussy stuff?" Me..."Hmmm...No".

Back to Ben. This is his third day with a fever. He caught it from Sam who had it before him. Sam's was easy. It lasted for two days, it was a low grade fever and it never became anything else. Every child reacts differently. I don't really mind the things that "run their course" because then I don't have to take them in. However, bacterial infections...yuck. Ben has a bad attitude towards antibiotics. They make these things so horrible to taste (trust me I tried)...that Ben gags and pukes them up. Every time! Research companies spend millions of dollars on antibiotics and they can't find something that tastes good for kids?? We've tried them all. We like the chewables the best. But they don't give those for lung stuff. You always get steriods. *sigh*. This is NOT my favorite part of being a mother.

Called the nurse. "If he's wheezing then we need to see him." That's what I thought. Time to find a babysitter for Mary so I can hold Ben kicking and screaming. Wish me luck!

Going To a Better Place

Today my parents are packing up their house and preparing to move from the home in which they have raised 6 kids. They lived at this house, my childhood home, for 37 years. It wasn't their choice to move, but they have known it was coming for over 10 years. They happen to live near an airport that is expanding and have seen their parish and neighborhood go from a thriving community to one that's been stripped of it's houses to make way for a runway (despite 9/11...go figure). My parents are pretty adaptable people, so I think they've handled it well. But can you imagine living in a place for the last 10 years knowing it will be leveled? You can bet you don't invest as much time or energy into this house when you know it will only be destroyed. The airport has already bought many houses around them and the ones that are waiting to be bought don't look too good. This is a long, slow process. It takes years to buy out each home and level it. I don't know how many homes were in the buyout but I could guess a couple thousand. So you have to live with these surroundings until it's your turn. Kinda depressing!

In many ways they are looking forward to a new start. In the past couple of weeks they've dealt with their air conditioning going out twice (in stinkin' hot weather!), two toilets that can't be used because they back up into the shower downstairs, and electricity that was out for two days because of a bad storm. The back deck is rotting and caving in, the roof looks like it's peeling off shingle by shingle and many of the homes around them are already gone. No wonder they want to escape it.

Today, I visited the house for the last time. Each room I walked through reminded of the life the house once held. Six kids running around and playing with all the other kids in the neighborhood. It was the house I came home to when I was born and learned how to walk in. It holds the bedroom that I shared with my sister which cultivated a lifelong friendship. That bedroom holds our secrets shared late at night in whispers when mom would say from her room, "Go to sleep!"and it's the same room that I would run to when I wanted to escape the miseries of the preteens to cry in my pillow. My bed was where I spent many a late night reading a good book by flashlight. I remember the first time I shaved my legs with my sister and mom coaching me along in the hall bath. The backyard was our playground. I remember using the back deck as our look out to "fairy land" with the neighborhood friend. We would make sarongs out of towels and clothespins and pretend we were fairy princesses. The front porch is where Ted and I would kiss each other goodnight.

The house brings all these memories to light, but the memories don't belong to the house. They won't be forgotten when the house is torn down. I get to keep those. We also have pictures to remind us of what it used to be. Which brings to mind an ironic analogy. A friend of mine just lost her father to cancer on Friday. In the middle of all this moving, we are attending his visitation and funeral. It made me think about death and how it is like leaving an old house and going to a brand new one. His body may have been consumed by cancer and slowly died... but the soul does not stay there when death happens. It goes to a much better place! Our bodies are just a shell. I'm always amazed at how little a body resembles the person when they die. It's like they aren't there. And they aren't. Everything that gave that body life is gone.

The same things apply to my parent's house. It's really just a shell. Everything that gave it life is leaving. So really, there is not much to be sad about. Tomorrow, my parents will move all of their belongings into a to a brand new house. They don't have to be surrounded by stuff that's falling apart. Everything is brand new. What a deal! I'm so happy that they won't have to worry about the maintenance of an older home and they are going to a thriving, young community. It's full of life. Unlike the place they are leaving.

My friend's dad has left is old, imperfect body and now has a new body in Heaven. He doesn't have to worry about chemo anymore or doctors visits or the fears of dying. He has a brand new body in Heaven. A perfect one.

Life With a Two Year Old

No one said it would be easy. We've all heard the term "terrible twos". I really don't like to think of them as "terrible" because it sounds so negative but I do feel it has been the hardest age for me to deal with so far. I've heard women say that the baby age is hard for them and others talk about how difficult it is to live with a teenager or preteen. I haven't experienced the latter two, so I can only speak for myself when I say, "The twos are hard!".

What is it about a two year old that makes them so difficult? Is it the shrill of their voice with every demanding request? Is it the cries of disappointment when things don't go their way? Is it their singlemindedness that makes them listen to no one? I know...I know...they are learning to assert themselves and it's a healthy part of growing up. It's the same determination they will use to try new things and learn everything they have to learn in life without giving up. I guess that's a good thing. Can you imagine a baby giving up before learning to walk? Mary (9 months) practices standing all day long and every time she lands on her bum, firmly I might add. Does this discourage her? Oh no, she goes through this repeatedly all day long. Practice, practice, practice. One day she will walk and it will be all because of her hard work. This is a task she has to learn on her own. And she will use this skill the rest of her life. We will take it for granted, but it really is monumental.

Just as Mary is learning to walk, Ben is learning to become independent. I'm not sure why it has to be done in such an emotional way, but I guess I would get frustrated too if I had a tough time communicating all my desires and had to rely heavily on others to fulfill all my needs (Oh wait a minute...that's why I'm frustrated all the time!). One book I relied on heavily during Sam's twos was "Raising Your Spirited Child" ( http://www.amazon.ca/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060923288/701-7614215-2717958 ). (I don't know how to do that fancy link thing when you click on the word and the site shows up). The full title is "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptice, Persistent and Energetic" ...by Mary Kurcinka . Don't you think that title applies to most two year olds? I do. But this book is for all ages. She's all about picking your battles and letting the child be who they are. I've unfortunately loaned the book out to so many people, I don't know where it is at the moment, however I do remember the main message that helped me most. These desires are real. They aren't doing it to tick us off. As parents, we are here to help them learn to deal with the struggles that come along with having their personality. We can't change who they are wired to be, but we can help them learn to live with it and grown from it. For example, Sam, my oldest is a very picky eater. My husband thinks that Sam is just being obstinant. When we go to other houses for a meal, sometimes Sam has to resort to bread and butter when he doesn't like anything on the menu. Is this fun for him? NO! One time I asked Sam about it and he said he wished he was not so picky. He doesn't like being this way. So giving him trouble about it isn't going to help him out. We are supposed to accept him where he is, but at the same time encourage him to grow by trying new foods. It will never be as easy for him as it is for our daughter, Abby. This is his own personality challenge. He might have to deal with being a picky eater for the rest of his life.

Each child will have their own challenges, so I think each one needs a different treatment. This can get sticky because kids are the rulers of being fair. Ben definitely gets different treatment in this house, to say he doesn't would be lying. But there is an understanding among the older two that he is learning and we can't hold him to the same standards. I'm a little more slack on the rules with him because to enforce each one would make this a very unhappy place to live. Gradually I elevate what I expect from him. Thank goodness I've done this before and I know that this can be done. We aren't setting bad habits for life. They gradually learn reason and control when consequences are given.

"Raising Your Spirited Child" helped me to take it easy and not sweat the small stuff. It helped me to realise that Ben needs me to be calm and steady to help him when he is at his emotional peak. They are afraid of their own emotions. We have to be that steady voice. I find the things that calm him and use them over and over. I'll do whatever it takes. Dora, Dora, Dora!!! It can't be a bad thing if it can take him from being a screaming maniac to a calm, thumb sucking, peaceful child. Sometimes he just needs to be held. So I do it.

I remember with Sam I would escalate with his emotions. We would be a mess!! I couldn't help him like that! Thank God I read that book. It doesn't take away the bad stages, just makes them easier to bear. So I will try to bear with Ben. He needs me to. This is one of the most important stages in his life. Easier times are ahead (I'll keep telling myself that) :-) .

How We've Changed, From Child #1 to Child #4

I'm sure you've all heard of the sayings, "With Child #1, you fully sanitize the binky after it drops on the floor. With Child #2, you just rinse it off. With Child #3, you just put the binky back in the child's mouth." Well, I've made up some of my own. These are from my own experience.

Fevers
Child #1--When Child #1 runs a fever, you panic and call the Doctor and want your baby checked out.
Child #2--When Child #2 runs a fever, you know that a Doctor rarely does anything for a fever so you don't even call. You are already fully stocked on all the appropriate meds and begin a regimin of Children's Motrin.
Child #3 and #4--Learn quickly that a feverish child is sometimes easier than a well child. You've learned that Motrin just lowers the fever and does not treat the bug so sometimes you give it to them and sometimes you don't. You don't mind the fever because they tend to sleep more.

Laundry
Child #1--Wash baby clothes separately from the other clothes with specially formulated detergent that's gentle on the baby's sensitive skin.
Child #2--You've learned that the special detergent is expensive and the first child never noticed the difference so this child has her clothes washed with everyone else's using regular detergent.
Child #3 and #4--You've learned that washing clothes is tiring and expensive so you let them wear their clothes as long as possible because the older two put everything in the dirty clothes hamper, even if it's only been worn for 2 seconds.

Walks
Child #1 and #2--Visit the park often and play on the playground. Take long leisurely walks in the neighborhood.
Child #3 and #4--Drag #3 and #4 to t-ball and soccer games and let them play near our lawnchairs. Occasional walks in the neighborhood end with child #3 not wanting to sit in the stroller and instead insists on pushing child #4 around.

Crying
Child #1--When child #1 cries, the goal is to stop the noise as soon as possible with nursing, or whatever else works.
Child #2--When child #2 cries, you attempt to take care of the need as quickly as Child #1 allows.
Child #3--When child #3 cries, you reason that they need to learn they aren't the only one in this world and let them cry a little longer before taking care of the need.
Child #4--Crying? What crying? When the crying finally registers, you ask Child #1 to help with Child #4.

Church
Child #1--You proudly take your perfectly outfitted bundle of joy to every mass and dote on child throughout.
Child #2--Your lucky to get them both dressed on time for church without a last minute poop that needs changing before heading out the door. You decide the cry room is the best place for your family after Child #1 keeps crawling under the pews and escaping into the isles. One parent is designated to Child #1 duty while the lucky parent gets to hold the content Child #2.
Child #3 and #4--You've learned that the cry room is NOT a pleasant place to be so instead, you leave the little ones at home and take turns going to mass. Every now and then you forget the torture you suffered last time and bring the whole family only to end up in the same place you were last time.

Pictures
Child #1--Take pictures at every event and of every person holding said child. Develop pictures immediately and make cute, decorative pages in scrapbook.
Child #2--While you are busy taking care of Child #1 and #2, you rarely find a free hand to take pictures. The pictures you do take end up getting developed months later and it takes longer to get them into the scrapbook. You find it's more efficient to do less decoration on the page.
Child #3 and #4--There are few pictures of child #3 and #4 alone. They tend to attract child #1 and #2 (especially video cameras). The camera often has dead batteries when you need it most and many "great" shots are missed by the time you get the camera. The album is way behind, but you insist that some day you will catch up.

Breakfast
Child #1--Fix blueberry muffins and freeze them in separate bags. Microwave in the morning for breakfast. Serve with fruit and milk for a nice, wholesome meal. Avoid sugar cereals at all costs!
Child #2--You don't have time to fix muffins anymore. You start with the healthy cereal but eventually you end up bringing home cereal based on the characters on the front of the box and the games on the back. This leaves you stuck with the sugar cereals. Child #2 insists on having the same junky cereal child #1 has.
Child #3 and Child #4--One time you thought it would be fun to serve poptarts. Child #1 and #2 LOVE them. What started as a luxury is now a necessity. They DEMAND POPTARTS! Child #3 has to have them now too. They have to be the S'mores kind. So every day now they get pure chocolate and marshmallows for breakfast. (Child #4 is still too young to know what's going on, but if this continues, she will follow suit with the demands).

Bathtime
Child #1 and #2--Child #1 and #2 both start out bathing in the baby tub and then graduate to the bath ring before bathing freely in the bathtub.
Child #3 and #4--Start out like Child #1 and #2, but the bath ring is nixed because of the way it traps babies when it tips over, causing near drownings. Child #3 and #4 end up crashing in on Mom's shower and no longer need baths.

I could think of lots of these, but I figure I need to stop! Would you like to share some of your own? Don't be shy...

Everyone Look Here!

The bigger your family gets, the harder it is to get a good picture of all of them. I think I have lowered my standards a bit to finally accept pictures that are imperfect. In fact, the ones that make me smile the most are probably the imperfect ones.

What's wrong with this picture?
1) Sam is doing a movie star wave and he is not a movie star.
2) Ted and Ben are NOT looking at the camera and you can't even see their faces.
3) Mary's hand is covering her face
4) Where is Abby looking??

No Lunch Partner

First, I want to say that I am extremely grateful to be home with my children. I consider it a priviledge and a blessing. Often that goes without saying, but I want to make sure it's the understood prelude to any complaint/frustration I have. Ok...now I'll get on with my woes.

I'm starving for lunch around 10:30 am or 11:00 am, especially when I get up at 6am like I did this morning with the little Moo Moo (Mary). It's a little early to eat for most people, but I like eating at that time because I'm not competing with the kids hunger and needs during lunch time. I really enjoy my mealtime. It's probably my favorite time of day because the kids are usually past most of their neediness and off playing while I eat in moderate peace (it's never totally peaceful for obvious reasons).

But anyway, today I was waiting for my sister to call. She works at a daycare about 10 minutes from me and comes over for lunch almost everday. I like having her over even if it's only for 30 minutes until she's rushing back to work. She loves seeing the kids and especially Mary because she's the Godmother. 12:00- no phone call. 12:05-Well, maybe she just assumed I would be here and she's on her way. 12:10-Usually she's walking through the door right now. If not no biggy...I DO have a life...It's NOT the only highlight of my day! 12:15- Hmmmm. I wonder if she's running errands today? Or going out to lunch with a friend? 12:20-A phone call! It's my other sister. She's at my parents, asking if I have their shop vac. No I don't. Ok, bye. Usually I get a long phone call with her, but this morning she's busy (Her kids are now old enough to leave for a couple hours alone) I bet she and mom will have a nice lunch together *sigh*. 12:25-Another phone call! It's Ted! He's called to see how I'm doing? No...He wants to know if the last weekend in October is free so he can plan an annual golf weekend with his college friends. Gotta go (I hear all the guys chatting in the background) He must be eating out, after all, who doesn't on a Friday!

Sometimes I'm jealous of them. My parents- because they are retired and their time is totally free to do with as they please. My sister, Lisa-because her youngest is turning 7 this month and her oldest two are old enough to watch the others. Also, during the school year she has two, whole, free days a week with nobody at home but her *gasp*. Can you IMAGINE? My younger sister, Becky-She has no kids yet so evenings and weekends are totally hers, and Ted-because he can go out to lunch and sometimes grab golf during his work week (often business, of course).

Now, that's what I think when I'm feeling drippy, sappy woe. The truth is, there is another side to the picture.

My parents--Raised six kids on one, blue collar income. All my growing up, my mom was sick with a benign brain tumor. She had seizures that were controlled by medicine until they figured out a small tumor was causing it and surgically removed it. My brothers spent a lot of time getting into trouble, doing drugs, setting fires, etc. They deserve every relaxing moment they can get right now.

Lisa-She had 4 kids in 4 1/2 years. Her husband works in Youth Ministry and his hours are all over the place. When her kids were young, she was totally strapped to the house. Now that the kids are older, she's running all over the place with their many activities. Any free moment she gets is well earned.

Becky- She just finished college and got her first full time job that she will start in a week. She really wants kids but needs an income right now. They will wait until they can afford for her to stay at home with them. She dotes on Mary to fill that void until then.

Ted-He's totally stressed at work. He has to deal with all the political stuff, being pulled in more directions than he can physically go in, working with bosses who have time to waste while he's counting every precious minute he can squeeze in away from all the meetings. Then he comes home to a wife who is anxious to be relieved, helps with the kids until they are all in bed, and tries to relax for one hour before he needs to go to bed and start the routine all over again. He has to do this for about 28 more years.

And as for me, I am fortunate enough to have the 4 kids I have always wanted. We are financially comfortable for now (I never take that for granted) which allows me to be home full-time. I can squeeze in my own indulgences (like this long blog) when time allows. I have a wonderful husband who is extremely supportive and believes in "rescuing the princess" because he has read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. I get to be enlightened by children who help me to grow and I'm learning to love in ways and depths that I didn't know were possible. When I look at the big picture, I know I am blessed. But it's still nice to occasionally vent to a friend who's been there.

This Too Shall Pass

Mary (9 months) is on the right, caught helping herself to cereal. Ben (2) is on the left after a good hair washing in the toilet. This too shall pass. But do I want it to? I've done this enough to know how quickly their first year passes and how much they change during that time frame. They will never learn so many new things and grow at that rate ever again! This is encouraging but also saddening. When you are going through a difficult time, it's always nice to know that they will grow out of it. However, wishing them to grow up means wishing away some of the very sweetness of the age.

Before Ben turned two, he used to cry every time I jumped in the shower. I'd try to sneak off while he was watching TV, but he would inevitably hear the water running and come screaming after me. I always kept the door ajar so he could come in, but that meant hearing loud screaming during my entire shower. It's not the most pleasurable experience. My decision to shave my legs was based on how hard he was crying or whether he got distracted from it. This stage eventually changed to him wanting IN the shower, but only with his clothes on. I only let this happen a couple of times because it was quite a pain. After this point, every time he would try to come into the shower he would turn away as soon as I would move to take his shirt off or tell him I was going to wash his hair (he didn't like that). So this was a nice deterrent, except for the fact that during my whole shower I had to repeat that I would take off his shirt and wash his hair (because he would make a move back to the shower door only seconds after he ran away from it). This eventually changed to him letting me take off his shirt AND bathe him AND wash his hair. So not only was I getting my own shower in, peacefully, but I was cleaning him at the same time. He was happy and I was happy.

Now toys are kept in the shower so he can play with them while he showers with me. He happily plays in the water and I happily shave my legs. I know eventually... this too shall pass. Will I miss him in my shower? Probably not. Will I miss his clinginess that will subside has he gets older? I doubt it. But I WILL miss the way his little body still fits in my lap, the wonder in his eyes when he sees a train, the way he eyes a shot before swinging his plastic golf club, his chubby cheeks, fat hands and innocence. This too shall pass. And I want to remember as much of it as possible.

A New, Focused Mom

I feel rejuvenated for some reason. I know I had a good nights sleep, but is that the reason for this new energy? Is it because I feel more driven with this new focus of better eating and making better use of my time? Or is it because everything has a season and we need the down time to create the motivation for the up time. I think that's a big reason. I notice that after a busy season in my life, it will follow with a season of laziness and then followed by sick of being lazy and not getting anything done.

Seasons are natural and a part of life. There are times when I have no desire to connect with God or it's too much work to pray or read scripture...and then there are times when I'm Wonder Woman and I'm doing everything I should, keeping the house clean, being a good mom and wife. Everything can't be a peak. The valleys have to come. Some people are more even than that. Their peaks or lower and their valleys aren't as deep. You could call them the "plains". My husband Ted is one of those people. But I'm realizing more and more that I am not. As much as I would love to say I'm even keal or layed back, I know that it's really not true. I can spring off an idea and zoom ahead at full throttle, and then I can also sit on my rump and have no motivation. I can be cheerful and energetic, and then I can feel negative and doomed. I know God is beckoning throughout it all. He's always there just waiting for me to make contact. Waiting for me to realize it is really impossible to do it all by myself. Sometimes I need a knock over my head to come to my senses. But often the struggle on the incline is worth the peak!

So I'll enjoy the peak while I'm on it; my morning prayerful reading time, organizing the kids with chores every day, eating healthy meals, keeping up with my house, spending quality time with the kids, and having a cheerful "I can do it" attitude. And hopefully some of these changes will be permanent ones I can take with me into even my unmotivated times. We can't be Wonder Woman all the time.

Everything in Moderation

Ok...I'm practicing moderation. I'm not very good at it naturally. I have to work at it. After lunch, I have my Famous Amos cookies and I don't count how many I'm having because I know I would be disgusted if I actually knew. If the total number of chips I ate were displayed on a plate instead of grabbed from a bag, I'm sure I would be surprised at the quantity. When I read a People magazine, it's hard for me to put it down. I have to read it cover to cover, ignoring anyone in my midst. I now have a laptop in my kitchen on a wireless network. My computer is on all day, and with a cable modem, I have constant access to the Internet. So I'm off an on all day. Could I use my time better? Probably. Am I using the phone, the computer, food as an escape? Definately! I don't think any of these things, in and of themselves, are bad. I just think I could curtail them a little more and do more "fruitful" things with my time.

Last night I went to my Women's Group (a Catholic women's praying and sharing group), and we talked about doing things that "bear fruit". If my escapes make me a better mom, than it is bearing fruit. If it makes me constantly distracted that I'm never present to my kids, than it is not. I also feel that if I start my day with a focus than I will accomplish more. I believe it's very important to give each day to God and have Him do with it as He wishes...the problem is you wouldn't know it by my actions sometimes.

Sooooo, these are things I am trying to do:

Start each day giving it to God
Read my "Magnificat" (Catholic publication of the daily mass scriptures, prayers and write ups)
Make a list of what I want to accomplish
Be more present to my children
Spend less time on the phone
Save computer time for naptime
Eat more fruits and vegetables
Eat less chips and cookies

That's the basic focus right now. I'll keep you updated as to how I'm doing. It will be an accountability of sorts. It might help me to stay focused. And then my computer time will be bearing fruit.

Confessions of a Real Mom

I have to balance my post last night about keeping calendars and albums on each kid with some real life confessions. I do this because I can feel people's skin crawl when I tell them I do this stuff. I mean, it really makes other mom's hate me because I'm making them feel like a bad mom. In reality, we ALL have something that we do that makes others feel like a bad mom. I have PLENTY of things that I do that are not "perfect mom" things.

Ok here goes:

**My kids don't eat enough vegetables or fruits and it's all my fault (because I DON'T EITHER...I'm working on changing that)

**I hardly ever vacuum (it scares my younger two and they both cry in fear and want to be held...have you ever held two children while vacuuming?? It's impossible!)

**My two year old watches Dora over and over and I let him because it makes him HAPPY (we do a lot of things to make Ben happy...)

**I love "Jimmy Neutron" and "Drake and Josh"...they crack me up!

**I wear make up every day whether I'm going anywhere or not (I like to think of myself as low maintenance, but this blows my cover...at least in this category)

**I spend way too much time on the computer

**I spend way too much time on the phone (sisters are great for talking to)

**Ever since I've been eating whole grain bread I have REALLY SMELLY GAS.

**I'm addicted to Famous Amos cookies and I hide cookies in my kitchen cabinet (FOR ME and not the kids!!)

**I love playing Spider Solitaire on the computer

**I'm on Zoloft for Postpartum depression (didn't happen with any of the other kids)

**I've just recently (last year) stopped eating sugar cereals...I'm now an adult!

**My kids wear the clothes they wore during the day...to bed!!

**We will eat out sometimes to avoid food struggles

**I'm a short order cook. I will serve 4 seperate meals sometimes (one for me and my husband, one for my picky older son, Sam, one for my Abby and Ben and baby food for Mary...it drives Ted CRAZY!!)

**I sneak McDonald's in the car on the way to my Women's group so I can eat a meal in peace.

**Ted and I indulge in very fattening frozen custard maybe two times a week after the kids go to bed.

**I hate cleaning schedules, I'm very spontaneous

**My kids remember to pray before their meals more than I do

**I let Mary eat cheerios off the floor


Okay...I really could go on but I must stop. My kids are napping so I really need to do some productive things around the house. Also, this might be in a future post, but I'm working on eating better. I am banning frozen custard from our house until I have better eating habits and then I might indulge occasionally. I have to break my addiction to Famous Amos by not eating them for a while and then maybe I'll be able to have just one or two instead of who knows how many I eat now.

Milestone Weekend

Another weekend is over and the kids have accomplished more milestones. Mary has been practicing standing a few seconds on her own before plopping with full force on her bum. Abby, my soon to be 7 year old, has just jumped off the subdivision pool diving board for the first time. She was so proud of her accomplishment, and ultimately it had to be when she was ready to do it. I love watching the kids take baby steps before a big leap. Abby would practice swimming in the deep water and jumping in from the side of the pool. Then she went off my Aunt's diving board (which is lower) and finally off the higher board today. The more a child is rushed, the more they seem to resist the jump. Let them go on their own, and it's amazing what they'll decide to do.

All these little accomplishments are recorded in their calendars. When my first son, Sam, was born, I was given a Hallmark calendar to record his first year of life. It came with stickers which had milestones printed on them, "First Smile", "First Tooth Lost", "First Step", etc. Once I used up the first year of that calendar, I didn't want to stop! I recorded all sorts of things besides the stickers provided: fun outings, who we visited, typical nursing and napping schedules, funny things they said, etc. I've done this with all four. Am I caught up? No. I record them in my planner and then I transfer them to each calendar. They each have an album too. These too are behind. I always get behind when a baby is born and I have had the last two pretty close together (18 months gap). So it's like a double wammy. I loved recording all this stuff because, being third of six, I was hardpressed to find a scrap of evidence I was born. Most of my baby pictures are from really far away so you can hardly tell it's me. I think this is why I slightly overcompensate on documenting my own children's lives (and I guess why I like to take pictures really close up).

I've enjoyed using the calendars to compare the kids with eachother. Like when each one started sleeping through the night, or when they first rode a two wheeler, or how many ear infections they've had, etc. I also like to track their height and weight on one of those growth charts. I copied the chart from www.cdc.gov/growthcharts . This is cool to see if they are following the same curve. I like to think someday they'll look back on these calendars and compare them to what their own kids are doing. I'm like a family historian of sorts. Maybe my kids will do the same for their own children?